[SCENE: Gentrifier coffee shop, South Philadelphia, 2:21pm Thursday afternoon. The shop is jumping.]
ME: New Philadelphia freaks me the fuck out, I'll be honest with you.
FRIEND: What happened?
ME: Nothing, I just walked through the room on my way to the bathroom, took this place all in, and had that thing happen, that like what-the-fuck-happened, where-am-I feeling.
FRIEND: Oh I know that feeling.
ME: See, 'cos here's the thing: When everyone is cool, NO ONE is cool.
FRIEND: But then where do you go?
ME: The beach!