July 28, 2015

This Evening: Upward Over The Mountain

>>> On their new album of covers Sing Into My Mouth, Iron and Wine mastermind Sam Beam and Ben Bridwell of Band of Horses sing songs originally made popular by disparate acts ranging from Sade to The Talking Heads to Spiritualized. The result is more hit or miss, and a project that could have been a disposable novelty instead is pure and true. The duo plays Union Transfer tonight in a show that won’t quite have you rocking so much as nodding in agreement with the gentle sounds flowing from the stage.

>>> StorySlams returns to L’Etage with “Ouch!,” an evening of tales of personal — and we’re guessing highly relatable — woe.

>>> We spoke of this earlier today and we remind you again, Pat Finnerty & The Full Band bring their oddball rock to Boot & Saddle. It’s gonna get weird.

>>> ROAD TRIP TO HEAR “SURRENDER” ALERT: Cheap Trick and Peter Frampton play the Sands Bethlehem Event Center tonight. We can hardly even deal with the overwhelmingly ’70s appeal of this.

And Now, The First Round Of Reader Submitted #POPEFENCE Maps

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Our DRAW YOUR OWN #POPEFENCE contest is officially underway, and so far Philly’s Jolene Kuna is in the lead. She submitted the above Sinead O’Connor image which encourages us to fight the real enemy, which in this case is obviously a #POPEFENCE. Ffter the jump we have another one of her entries which is probably NSFW as well as details as to how you can get in on the fun. (more…)

Today’s Moment Of Philly Zen: Summer Keeps Droning On

Apart from some distracting time warp trance music, this video filmed on a DJI Phantom 3 drone from Philly’s Jake Cannon is a tranquil visual trip. Like a robotic Benny Mardones, this footage picks us up and shows us a loving side of Philly that we’ve never seen. With drone videos quickly becoming as commonplace on the Internet as cats and conspiracies (although, oddly enough, not conspiracies about cats), it’s easy to be blase about the perspective on everyday life that these videos present. But pay attention to this. It’s life in Philly, and we sometimes forget how it can be a beautiful thing. (Via Technical.ly Philly)



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Noontime Nuggetz: Pat Finnerty & The Full Band Pursue An “Attractive Woman”

The new single from Pat Finnerty & The Full Band is no “Reggae Dog” (like it could possibly be), but it will do nicely. You can experience the unpredictable live magic of these guys for yourself tonight at Boot & Saddle. It definitely won’t be “Too Culd” out. And no, we don’t understand the music either but we love it. That’s way more important.

A Forgotten WFIL Record Found In Repo Records’ Basement Reminds Us That Summer Love Still Exists

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Just look at the track list on this. The Delfonics? Billy Stewart? Dawn? Philadelphia is such a magical place that summer love can be found for a dollar in the basement of Repo Records. That sentence sounds utterly skeevy, but you get our point. This is a Place We Can Understand, one where feel completely at home amongst the forgotten dollar LPs and must. The Greatest Summer of Your Life? Probably not. But down there amongst the vibes of yesteryear Philly is probably the best we can hope for.



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FYI: The Pre-Papal Bike Sweep To Wipe Away Philly’s Conveyance-Related Sins

PopeFrancisWith all of the emphasis being placed on Pope maps (have you entered our contest yet?) of late, subtle changes to the Philly landscape during the papal visit are starting to get lost in the shuffle of the Francis news cycle. Take for example the various abandoned and/or forgotten bikes left alone and often tireless throughout the city. Long have these disused modes of transportation been a regular part of the visual landscape. But not for much longer. The Mayor’s Office of Transportation and Utilities will be seeking to exorcise these Ghosts of Vehicles Past by conducting an abandoned bike sweep on August 12th and 13th that could give these discarded conveyances a second life. From the office’s website:

Removing abandoned bicycles is an important part of maintaining the streets for all Philadelphians—and it will be especially important when we welcome the Pope and visitors—as it frees up our sidewalks for pedestrian use and it clears existing parking areas that are designated for cyclists.

All abandoned bicycles will be donated to local charities that specialize in refurbishing bicycles.

Philadelphia residents are encouraged to call 311 to report abandoned bikes in their area. Here’s what the city considers an abandoned bike to be, but the MOTU states on their website that if your bike is erroneously marked as one, simply remove the yellow tag and place your ride in a designated parking area…as opposed to chained to the fence outside of your house where it might be taken away from you, never to know your warm embrace again. We sort of feel like the city has way bigger to things to worry about in conjunction with Pope Francis‘ visit than a few errant bikes lying about, but we applaud their desire to help the abandoned bikes find rebirth underneath the asses of riders who can give them the respect and care they deserve.

Dept. Of Antici-pation: Dr. Frank-N-Furter Returns To The TLA Next Month

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We told you last month about how South Street would be commemorating the 40th anniversary of The Rocky Horror Picture Show with a series of events on August 15th that would culminate in a screening of the enduring cult masterpiece at its original Philly home at the TLA, and to promote the event Dr. Frank-N-Furter himself (well, an actor from Philly’s Transylvanian Nipple Productions, who will be performing at the screening) risked life and fishnets to take the above promo pic atop the venue’s marquee. Organized by Robert Drake, the day-long celebration of not dreaming it, being it will feature Rocky Horror crafts, food and drink specials — including cheap hot dogs, obvs — and games at Tattooed Mom, and a performance by the Meatloaf cover band All Revved Up before the main event. All of this is very pleasing. You see, Rocky Horror is perhaps the purest example of a pre-Internet word of mouth cult phenomenon that is open to all. It’s continuing appeal sends a reassuring message that no matter how alone you may feel, you can still fit in with the misfits by shouting outdated sex and drug jokes at a 40-year-movie while dodging airborne rolls of toilet paper. Yes my unconventional conventionists, we’ve seen blue skies through the tears in our eyes, and we realize, we’re going home.

Auto-Generated Post: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS THERE WAS A POLICE CHASE LAST NIGHT

DID YOU SEE THE POLICE CHASE? IT WENT RIGHT THROUGH SOUTH JERSEY AND PARTS OF PHILLY. I MEAN THIS STUFF HAPPENS IN L.A. ALL THE TIME, BUT HERE? I GUESS IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN ANYWHERE AND AT ANY TIME SO YOU NEVER KNOW, RIGHT? WOW. IN OTHER NEWS, BE CAREFUL OUT THERE TODAY, IT’S GONNA BE A HOT ONE. NOW HERE’S JEFF SKVERSKY TO TELL US HOW THE PHILS DID LAST NIGHT.

July 27, 2015

Philebrity Presents The Official DRAW YOUR OWN #POPEFENCE CONTEST


Earlier today, we showed you the proposed papal visit street closure map that sent social media into a tizzy over the weekend. That one turned out to be a fake, disproved by the timely appearance of an allegedly real map (that is admittedly still annoying, but slightly less so). As indicated above, Philly has just about had enough of all of this. Which is why your pals at Philebrity are resurrecting Neighborhood Maps for a very special DRAW YOUR OWN #POPEFENCE MAP contest! Here’s what to do: Channel your Francis frustration and dubious cartography skills into a visual expression of how you envision the #PopeFence and send it on over to tips@philebrity.com. We’ll be giving away some special prizes to the best entries, so get to drawing. It won’t make this bullshit any more tolerable, but at least you may be rewarded for your anger. We’ll have the submissions and winners up later this week!

This Evening: We Only Have It Iced

>>> Anytime Dead Milkman Joe Jack Talcum does a solo acoustic set is worth catching, but tonight’s show at Johnny Brenda’s is especially noteworthy as he’ll be playing on a solid bill that also features the angst pop of Cynthia Schemmer (of Radiator Hospital as well as She Shreds magazine) and R. Ring, featuring The Breeders’ Kelley Deal and Ampline’s Mike Montgomery.

>>> Beach Slang bring their bold and boisterous sounds to PhilaMOCA.

>>> As you probably noticed, Philly is knee-deep in the summer doldrums right now, that time when everyone is away or very little is happening. This is one of those nights, so let us suggest some of the following boredom busting summer Monday evergreens: Peruse the weird second floor of The Book Trader and see what literary treasures await; wander around Spruce Street Harbor Park and wonder if just maybe your stance on LEDs might very well be misguided; call your folks; watch all the Netflix; buy yourself some Mr. Softee; or just stay inside and nap. Tonight is for the lazy.

The Way We Live Now: PhilaMOCA To Host Top Gun-Themed Cover Band Next Month

On August 29th, PhilaMOCA will present a performance by Viper, a band so obsessed with the 1986 Tom Cruise epic Top Gun that they perform its soundtrack — featuring Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone,” Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away,” and The Righteous Brothers’ “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” — in its entirety while acting out portions of the film on stage. Yeah, we don’t know either. But better this than Far and Away we suppose. Those who feel the need, the need for speed can buy advance tickets here while the rest of us take a long hard look at ourselves and what 1980s nostalgia has wrought.

And Now, A Limerick For The Naked Bike Ride Guy Hanging Around The Rocket Cat Cafe


One time in the Rocket Cat Cafe,
A man was allowed to walk around naked all day.
It all was to promote and show pride
for the Naked Bike Ride,
A thing to which we forever shall say “no way.”

City Paper’s Zine Slideshow Will Transport You Back To A Past You Had No Idea How Much You Missed

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Over at City Paper, Patrick Rapa has created a slideshow of zines from his personal collection as a response to both a CP piece about The Soapbox Independent Publishing Center in West Philly and to commemorate July being International Zine Month. This has got us thinking about lazy afternoons spent at Tower Books (aww) on South Street idling through the latest issues of The Morri’Zine, Ben Is Dead, Hitch, Cashiers du Cinemart, Report from the Star Wars Generation and other relics from the long, dark ’90s. We’d say a zine revival is long overdue, but then we remembered that one is already underway via Internet mail order. That’s comforting to know. With the buzz of the 1990s zine explosion long dead, these personal publications have again returned to the fringes of society, right where they belong. Well, there and curled up somewhere with you and your solitude.

Captain Freeshit Reminder: You Can Still Win Tickets To See Brandon Flowers This Thursday At The Electric Factory

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Oh hey! We are going to be giving away a pair of tickets to see Brandon Flowers this Thursday at the Electric Factory. We’ll be picking a winner in the AM, which means you still have time to enter. So here’s what to do, at some point between now and midnight tonight, e-mail ihopeiwin[at]philebrity[dot]com with “LONELY TOWN” in the subject header. You’ll automatically be subscribed to the forthcoming new Philebrity Reader weekly newsletter and win chances for other exclusive free stuff. Good luck!

Noontime Nuggetz: Color Your Thirst With This Forgotten Ad For Frank’s Orange Soda

Before Frank’s Soda was popping with Patti Smyth flavor, its commercials were sun-splashed kisses of happiness packed with the sort of high-intensity beach fun that only exists in ads and early-1980s teen comedies. And you know what? We do need a drink, the color of sun with real orange juice and Frank’s is very probably still the one. The next time you’re in 1981, pick us up a case, okay?

The New York Times Wrote Nearly 1,200 Words On Last Week’s Nicki Minaj/Meek Mill Twitter Beefs And We Have No Earthly Idea Why

In response to last week’s brief Nicki Minaj/Taylor Swift feud and the ongoing Meek Mill/Drake ghostwriting beef, The New York Times has given us an in-depth breakdown of these most important of issues. Aiming to explore how Minaj and Mill use social media as a soapbox to call out people and/or discuss issues important to them, the piece is a stop-the-world-we-want-to-get-off journey deep into the unforgiving heart of celebrity nothingness. Ahem:

If Drake and Ms. Swift excel at currying favor and finding common ground, Ms. Minaj and Meek Mill have walked bolder, at times lonelier paths. Collecting friends far and wide is not their goal. Ms Minaj has long pointed out what she perceives as mistreatment or hypocrisy in the music business. Meek Mill, one of the last remaining mainstream rappers still loyal to the street rap of the 1990s, has barely tweaked his approach in search of wider acclaim.

Those principles serve as nourishment, and also as weapons — compromise is the enemy. Drake hasn’t replied directly to Meek Mill’s accusations. But in a private message made public on Instagram, he wrote: “I signed up for greatness. This comes with it.” And he has liked an Instagram video that places a magazine cover featuring Skepta (a Drake buddy) in front of one featuring Meek Mill.

Look, clearly we are not above commenting on celebrity culture here, but there was something about this article that gave us the same sort of depressed disdain that Jane had for Grover’s intensely articulated thoughts on Saturday morning cartoons in Kicking and Screaming. We guess what we are trying to say here is that Twitter think pieces make us get where Luddites are coming from. We hear you guys loud and clear right now.

ICYMI: The Alleged, But Probably Not True?, Papal Street Closure Map

Over the weekend, social media exploded with images of the unofficial above map that appeared on Philly’s Reddit page allegedly showing how the city will be shut down for the Pope’s visit. (In other words, shit is gonna be screwed river to river if this is genuine). Given the increasing indicators that the Pope’s visit is going to significantly impact the city, our gut feeling is that this was created by online trolls to fuel growing worry (well, that and the fact the map features a misspelling of the word “prohibited”). Of course, it could just be possible that this is wishful thinking on our part and this thing is 100% legit, but for now everybody chill until more information presents itself. To paraphrase The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, life’s bad enough as it is without wanting to invent any more of it.

UPDATE: This appears to be the real one, but again, at this point everything is tentative. Stay tuned.

The Week Ahead In Comedy: The World Is Flat

Photo by Tom Lovelund

Photo by Tom Lovelund

Comedy, comedy, everywhere, but not a drop to drink – unless of course you go to Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar where tonight there will be both plenty of comedy and drinkable drops! Rachel Fogletto and Phyllis Voren host the Funny Females All Woman Comedy Show, a show that is packed to the gills with talent. This month’s show features Joanne Syrigonakis, Hannah Harkness, Natalie Levant, and Victoria DePaul. Monday, 8pm. No cover

On Thursday, treat yourself to a real appetizer sampler at the Philly Improv Theater‘s new Monologues show. If you’re into prepared works but have a hard time keeping track of all the characters, this is the show for you! You can see performers Rick Helpa, Teresa Nutter, Mallory Rhodes, Kristofer Hodge, Joe Pants, Julia Hudson, Charlie Shulman, and Dru Kramcsak deliver their best solo performances, all on one stage! Thursday, 7:30pm. $8 in advance/$10 at the door

The Flat Earth is back! The Flat Earth is back! Philadelphia’s most traveled and exciting sketch comedy group, PHIT House Team The Flat Earth are back for two more shows featuring all new material. This week, they will be joined by sketch duo Jon and Ian, who are presenting Jon and Ian Have Something To Tell You. Having already traveled to be part of international comedy festivals, the Flat Earth-ers, give back to Philly this week, with an all new set. Crazy character, wacky weirdos, strange situations and more! Thursday & Friday 9:30pm. $10 in advance/$12 at the door

Let’s face it, like chocolate, there are two types of humor – milk humor and dark humor. On Friday night, The Comedy Club House above Manayunk’s Gaily’s Crazy Cow Cafe celebrates the darkness of comedy in the Dark Humor Comedy Showcase. You’re going to see something weird, something unusual, but that’s great – after all, it’s still comedy! The new showcase features Craig Haas, Mike Alloy, James Mascuilli, and Joe Murdock. Friday, 9:30pm. $10

Today’s Moment Of Philly Zen: Lose Yourself In The Cold, Dead Eyes Of The William Penn Statue

That facial expression is exactly how we feel right now. Mondays, baby, who needs ’em?

July 24, 2015

This Weekend: You Move Into My Airspace

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FRIDAY:

>>> Philly performance art troupe Creatures of the Night will be doing fans of Bob’s Burgers a solid by recreating that show’s terrific “Hamburger Dinner Theater” episode live at Tattooed Mom. This is one of three live-action performances of the installment — with the others being on the 29th and 31st — so there is no excuse to miss this. Enter and be tained.

>>> The XPoNential Music Festival, the annual celebration of WXPN artists on the Camden Waterfront gets underway. This year, the three-day fest includes sets from Dawes, Calexico, My Morning Jacket, St. Vincent, Buckwheat Zydeco, Gina Chavez, Indigo Girls, Grace Potter, and many more. A complete lineup and tickets can be found here.

>>> But wait, it’s a MUSIC FESTIVAL SOPHIE’S CHOICE! Split between PhilaMOCA and First Unitarian Church, the second OK Fest includes three days of largely locally grown performances from the likes of Frances Quinlan, Blowdryer, Amanda X, Spirit of the Beehive, Lithuania, Girlpool, Quarterbacks, and others. Tickets to this could quite possibly be sold out by the time you read this, so check here for details. Incentive: A portion of the proceeds from the fest will benefit the Attic Youth Center.

>>> The English Beat plays the first of two nights at the New Hope Winery, so, um, okayyyyyyyy. Hold our hands while we come to a decision on how we feel about this.

>>> A screening of the documentary That Daughter’s Crazy at the Painted Bride will feature actress Rain Pryor talking about growing up as the child of late, eternally great funnyman Richard Pryor.

>>> Great music but nerdy names: Memory Tapes, Computer Magic and School Dance play Boot & Saddle.

>>> NRBQ plays The Ardmore Music Hall, joined by every music snob you went to college with.

>>> This Is Hardcore X hits the Electric Factory. What is hardcore these days? We suppose if you come to this, bands like The Geeks, Cruel Hand and Build and Destroy featured on the bill will show you, because this is, you guessed it, ANOTHER MUSIC FESTIVAL HAPPENING THIS WEEKEND. And there’s not a damn thing wrong with that.

>>> Over at Milkboy, Tommy Stinson is playing, and tonight is breaking our hearts because we can only be in one place at a time.

SATURDAY:

>>> Yeah, we have never enjoyed anything else they’ve done as much as Turn On the Bright Lights either, but that doesn’t mean that we won’t be checking out Interpol when they pop by Festival Pier tonight. Surprise, sometimes, will come around.

>>> The Franklin Flea returns to Headhouse Square. We think we’ve mustered up the courage enough to tell this one vendor we always see there that $6 is way too much money to be selling \Archie back issues for.

>>> In support of her just-released second album The Switch, Emily King will bring her impassioned sounds to Underground Arts tonight.

>>> The 40th Street Summer Festival is happening in University City, with performances from Mixed People, Red Summer Strings and Au Jus, plus the usual family activities and maybe, if you’re good, balloon animals.

SUNDAY:

>>> The Car Show & Street Festival is happening on East Passyunk. Are we mentioning this here as a suggestion or a cautionary tale? You decide.

>>> Floetry performs at the TLA tonight. So that’s where all the late-90s vibes are.

>>> All the aforementioned musical festivals are still happening, so check one out. Or stay in and relax. It’s Sunday baby.