October 30, 2014

And Now, Philebrity’s Big List Of Halloween Parties

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Oh crap, tomorrow is Halloween! Do you have your Slutty Claims Adjuster costume together? Where are you going to go? Is everywhere going to be awful? So many questions. Allow us to help. We just sorted through a mountain of invites and press releases, and here, Philly, are your best options for heading out tomorrow night. We have made every effort to eliminate things that are obviously for and by douchebags here, but please remember, it’s Halloween on a Friday night in Philly. Please make every effort to choose wisely. (And, if you’re okay with using List.ly, go ahead and add something if you feel we missed it. Honor system, folks.) (more…)

This Evening: (Mis)Chief Kamanawanalea & The Royal Macadamia Nuts

>>> Devil’s Night, Mischief Night, whatever you wanna call it (duh, it’s Mischief Night): If you are on the streets of Philadelphia, just assume that you will be egged, and consider it a happy accident if somehow you are not. Nevertheless, NERDS, we’ll give you two good reasons to head out tonight: There’s Skeptics In The Pub – Spooky Edition at The Blind Pig, featuring Kenny Biddle, skeptical investigator of paranormal claims and author of Orbs or Dust: A Practical Guide to False Positive Evidence. And there’s also Philly History Quizzo at National Mechanics, which is part of Archives Month and will be chock full of awesome Philly knowledge (and probably also, like, insanely difficult).

>>> There’s also Philly Tapes Philly at Ortlieb’s. Philly Tapes Philly is a new monthly series founded by members of Commonwealth Choir and Big Tusk, wherein each party comes with a cassette release. The format is simple: “2 bands. 2 songs. 1 tape.” First 50 through the door tonight get a free copy of Philly Tapes Philly Vol. 7, featuring tonight’s performers: Brian Dale Allen Strouse (The Lawsuits) and Bij Lincs (Ground Up).

>>> And last but certainly not least, heavy metal legends/scary rock makers Pentagram play Johnny Brenda’s.

Who Did Sad/Hilarious Privilege Better: Ayla’s “America” Or “African Child” From Get Him To The Greek?

Nontroversy erupted earlier this week when it came to light that the staff of the National Constitution Center (very, very wisely) decided to not include, in its Liberty Medal event honoring Malala Yousafzai, “a scheduled videotape performance by 14-year-old pop singer Ayla Potamkin, a Colorado girl with deep Philadelphia roots, who wrote a song to honor the 17-year-old Pakistani human-rights activist.” The videotape performance in question (VHS or Beta, Inky?) was a clip for a track called “America,” and a more jingoistic piece of tripe you will not find above the Mason-Dixon line. Nevertheless, among the offended when it came to light that Ayla would not have A Special Day on the back of Malala’s honors: Ed Rendell. Richard Sprague. Fans of South Park, presumably. Now, Emily Guendelsberger over at City Paper has unpacked this much better than we could, noting both the WTF nature of how this almost even happened as well as the song’s seeming genre-relationship with, say, “Friday” by Rebecca Black. But we also noted a (most likely unintentional) allegiance with that great emblem of privilege rock, Aldous Snow’s “African Child,” from the great American film Get Him To The Greek. We realize that “African Child” is not really “real,” but look at both clips and ask yourself: Is anything real? (more…)



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Here Is A Picture Of Bro’dley Cooper As The Elephant Man That You Should Text, Apropos Of Nothing, To Your BFF

Bradley Cooper goes from 'Sexiest Man' to Elephant Man for new play.

Is this a thing? Oh, yes, it’s a thing! AND IT’S VERY SERIOUS. Because Bro’dley is SERIOUS. Do you deny that he is SERIOUS? Seriously!

Noontime Nuggetz: A Complete History Of The Action News Opening Credits, From 1970 On

This here is the Action News motherlode, Philly: A compendium of opens from WPVI-TV from 1970 up until last year. It dates from before “Move Closer To Your World” even existed, features wild psychedelic graphics, LARRY KANE IN HIS TWENTIES, and so much old dirty Philly. Strap yourself in and go to a place we once called, with great pride, Philadelphia.



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This Just In: Hate Crime Bill Passes City Council

Just in the inbox from City Hall:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Hate Crime Bill Passes City Council

(PHILADELPHIA, PA) October 30, 2014–Today, Philadelphia City Council unanimously passed the Hate Crime Bill introduced by Councilwoman Blondell Reynolds Brown and Councilman Jim Kenney. The bill adds a new chapter to the Philadelphia Code to provide for additional penalties for criminal conduct motivated by hatred regarding sexual orientation, gender identity and disabilities as defined in the City’s Fair Practices Ordinance, all of which are not covered by existing state hate crime laws.

The bill is in response to the September 11, 2014 assault of a same-sex couple in Center City, where the assailants allegedly hurled anti-gay slurs. It was later reported that the District Attorney could not prosecute the attack as a hate crime because no such protections currently exist.

“Philadelphia is known all over the world as a city that celebrates and values diversity and we will not allow a few thugs to tarnish that reputation,” said Councilwoman Blondell Reynolds Brown. “It is shameful that this legislation is necessary in 2014, but as Councilman Kenney and I have demonstrated in the past, we are proud to do it.”

She continued, “We are not brought into this world with hate in our hearts; that is something learned along the way. This is a teaching moment not only for the bullies out there, but for the parents of bullies. We all have a responsibility to protect one another. My heart hurts for all people who are targeted because of who they are. No one has a right to diminish someone else’s shine, and our message today is, if you think it is appropriate to hurt someone with hate in your heart, there will be a price to pay.”

“Until the Commonwealth comes to its senses and treats these offenses as the hate crimes they are, Philadelphia City Council must do all it can to protect our citizens,” said Councilman Jim Kenney.

More particulars after the jump. (more…)

R.I.P.: The Alt-Weekly Cover Story In Philly

p1coverHandsThere is a hopeful element within us that thinks that maybe the alt-weekly cover story, that long-running valuable repository for journalism that dailies can’t or won’t do, is merely endangered. But it doesn’t look good. Have you noticed? In recent weeks, Philadelphia Weekly has moved to a new model, wherein the “cover story” is merely an advertisement for a one-page article you’ll find somewhere in its wafer-thin pages. And sadly, one page does not a cover story make. So instead, these thingys — we’ll call them “thingys,” as they approximate something between “column” and “long item” — often feel like the physical-space representation of a re-blog. And they can’t possibly satisfy anyone who’s looking for the real thing, be they reader or writer.

Meanwhile, over at City Paper, the cover story in recent weeks has been refashioned, as often as not, as a listicle. That’s not a cover story either. In CP’s case, it’s just one of a myriad of symptoms of the weird times we’ve been hearing about since the day Metro took the paper over, developing a pattern of squandering talent when it’s not just letting it go altogether. This, for example, is not the way you use Daniel Denvir, master of ye olde longform alt-weekly cover story. It’d be a great quickie on Vox, or even here, but on paper? Again, it feels like a re-blog. (Although, to be fair, it’s not as bad as this.) We’d like to think that the boat could turn around at CP — it seems clear the longform ship has definitively sailed at PW — but if watching the alt-weekly world all this time has taught us anything, it’s this: There is now nothing but diminishing returns. And that is a sad thing indeed.

Let It Be Known That It Is October 2014 And Vogue Just Posted “How To Get That Patti Smith Look”

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Well, bless your heart, Vogue. In tangentially related news, Urban Outfitters just made Mic’s 14 Companies to Avoid If You Support Equality in America list, so wherever you are getting that look — and we recommend it for most humans — just don’t get it there. Patti would not like that.

Right Now In The People’s Republic Of Comcast: Reparations With A Side Of Hope

Sure, Philly, when it comes to watching TV, you have options of a sort now, be they Fios (if Comcast hasn’t blocked it from coming into your neighborhood) or Roku/Chromecast/Netflix (if Comcast isn’t throttling your Internet connection). But back in the day, say, 10 years ago, Comcast had Philly on lock in a way that was positively totalitarian. And, as their proposed merger with Time Warner is still being considered, it’s important to remember this: They did not behave well in a monopolistic situation. In fact, they gouged the shit out of their Philly customers.

So, give the current events, is it out of a sense of “Hey, that’s not who we are any more” that Comcast finally decided to settle a 10-year-old class action suit claiming that they overcharged Philly customers? Maybe. Or maybe they just wanted to get you hooked on some of their other services. Among the 40 Green Acres and Mr. Ed mules is offering the offended in the settlement:

Customers certified to be in the class can have a one-time credit of $15 on their bill or one of these options:

Six free pay-per-view movies (an estimated $35.94 value).

Four months of free upgrade in Internet service for customers who subscribe to Xfinity high-speed Internet service. Four months free upgrade in Internet service from Performance Level to Blast! service (an estimated $40 value), or one free month upgrade from Blast! service to Extreme 105 service (an estimated $38 value).

Two free months of the Movie Channel (an estimated $43.90 value).

Current subscribers who do not choose on their claim form either the $15 bill credit or one of the options will automatically get two free months of the Movie Channel.

Wow, thanks guys. Meanwhile, to wash that taste out of your mouth, here’s “Five Reasons Why Critics of Comcast’s Time Warner Cable Deal Are Feeling Hopeful.” We want to believe, we really do, but man, The Movie Channel. It just makes us sad.

Dept. Of Meaningless Lists: Philly Now The #1 U.S. City In Terms Of Vampire, Uh, Livability

One of those horseshit clickwhore real estate blogs did a list of “The 10 Best U.S. Cities to Be a Vampire,” and, guys, guess what? PHILLY WON!

1. Philadelphia, PA
Cloudy days: 160
Bar Hours: 7 a.m. – 3 a.m.
# of Blood Banks and Drives: 548
Homes for Sale Near Cemeteries Ranking: 2
It turns out that the City of Brotherly Love is a bloody good place to be for vampires, with plenty of cloudy days, a 3 a.m. closing time and many cemeteries in the city. Philadelphia had the most blood drives planned for the next month – 548 – ensuring that vampires would have plenty of places to grab a bite to eat.

3AM? What? Also, there is no mention of A.D. Amorosi on this list, which indicates even more poor research than you’d suspect or that dude’s move to Metro was merely a secret retirement.

October 29, 2014

This Evening: Come See About Them

>>> Amidst the vast array of tribute nights we’ve seen around town over the years, we believe that tonight’s A Tribute To The Supremes at The Fire may be the first of its kind in Philly. Among the fine locals taking on this most revered of songbooks will be Allison Pollans, Imani Roach from The York Street Hustle, Ali Wadsworth, and more. We’re hoping nobody skimps on the hair.

>>> Elsewhere: Long Spells, a new band featuring ex-members of Public Record and current members of A Sunny Day in Glasgow, makes their debut at Silk City with Proexhibitors, Jeff Zeigler and Suburban Living. Norfolk, VA’s Suburban Living in particular hit that dream pop sweet spot for us. Dig:

>>> And TJ Kong’s Writers’ Night In America returns to Jose Pistola’s.

Traffic Alert: Obama Stumping For Tom Wolf On Sunday At Temple U

barackobama-facebook

Click here if you’d like to go. Otherwise, plan your trip to Kim’s BBQ accordingly.

City Council, Through Sheer Incompetence, Either Did Or Did Not Do A Good Thing By Negging The PGW Deal

Food for thought in the land of stopped clocks being right twice a day: As the Mayor himself has noted, City Council’s colossal Philly shrug on a deal that would have at long last pulled the PGW monkey off the City’s back was not a high point in local government. For a variety of reasons, all of them illustrative of how Council is intellectually/spiritually broken, and has been since before you were born, toots. But as the dust settles and more news and perspectives on the mishap pop up, consider this: Could Council have just dodged a bullet by letting the deal die on the table? This post from way back in March by the PennFuture Energy Center for Enterprise and the Environment makes the case that UIL Holdings could well have only been interested in PGW for one thing: Its resources and facilities that could be used in the fracking business. To wit:

Why would a company pay almost $2 billion for an aging utility in a city with high rates of poverty and static population growth? Two words: Marcellus. Shale.

Bidders were intent on acquiring PGW not only for its retail utility business, but also for its Liquified Natural Gas (LNG) facilities along the Delaware River and its proximity to Pennsylvania’s rich shale play.

Looking at it that way, YAY Council! Looking at it another way, here you have Council’s own consultant saying that gas bills in Philly will rise more if the City keeps PGW. So it’s really a glass half-empty/half-full thing. But I don’t think that’s water in there.

Previously: Watch Michael Nutter Talk With Sadness And Exasperation About How City Council Screwed The Pooch On The PGW Deal

If You’re Going To Crowdfund Your Earthship, Try Not To Be Such A Hippie About It

Despite being at least a few years away from hitting the mainstream, Earthships are not a new idea here in Philadelphia. And that’s okay with us. Kind of. We’re wont to get weird and wavy from time to time here at Philebrity. Not to go into too much detail, but we’ve seen, eaten, and relieved ourselves into a thing or two. So when an indiegogo campaign launches to fund a new Earthship building project, we’ll read it. We’ll take seriously the claim that “They cost a fraction of what traditional housing costs to build. They can be part of a revolution in low-cost housing, and in a greening of the U.S.” We might even take a moment to consider the advantages of houses that “process their own sewage (into a septic system or dry-composting toilet).” But when the proposal’s coming from a guy who looks like he’s relocating to his Earthship from his car and the promo video’s set to a Crosby Stills and Nash song, well… come on, dude. Let’s play our hippie cards a little closer to the vest, yeah?

Audio: President Of PA Taxi Association Saying Uber Is Like Isis Will Make You Actually LOL

Alex Friedman is president of the PA Taxi Association and general manager of the All City and Checker Cab companies; as you might imagine, he is not very stoked on all of this Uber stuff. He is so not stoked, in fact, that at yesterday’s Philadelphia Parking Authority board meeting, he was moved to draw a comparison on how Uber and nightmare terroist organization Isis are, by his estimation, exactly alike. Luckily for all, the statement was caught on tape by Jon Geeting of PlanPhilly, and we defy you to not at least chuckle a little upon hearing these words come out of this man’s mouth. (Also, by some quirk of Soundcloud algorithmic magic, if you play the above on Soundcloud, it segues right into this DOPE Pete Rock mixtape. So thank you TWO TIMES to both Friedman and Geeting.)

Previously: Q&A: Taylor From The Front Office At UberX, Who Is Not Amused By These PPA Shenanigans. Not At All. Not One Bit.

Get Wired Up! With Rocktits! And Forget Crappy Fall Days Exist

This new Rocktits! mix is exactly what we need to get us through what might be the ugliest day we’ve seen this season. Step out of this dreary autumnal prison for an hour into a tripped-out beer-soaked world where it’s always 1969 and Summer. And then head to Union Transfer on Friday to see Rocktits open for Dum Dum Girls at PURE HALLONEEM!

Watch Blood Orange Play Jimmy Kimmel Live On An Original Alex Da Corte Set

Last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Dev Hynes, aka Blood Orange, who scored the Alex Da Corte/Jayson Musson colaboration Easternsports, now up at ICA, performed two songs on a set designed by Da Corte. The performance above didn’t make it to TV, but Hynes managed to get ahold of the video and tweet it. Beyond being a stunning and original performance, this is probably the best endorsement of a contemporary art installation we’ve ever seen. If you haven’t seen Easternsports yet, hopefully this video will sell you on it.

Remember When Taylor Swift Was Just Another Girl With A Guitar Singing The National Anthem Before The World Series?

Sometimes you can’t see the good times for what they were until they’re gone forever.

Where Can You Find A Roundup Of The Worst Of The PPA’s Bullshit? Reddit, Of Course!

Reddit is a home for some of the internet’s, and the world’s, biggest creeps, but occasionally one of these many neckbeards and outliers steps forward and does the closest thing to what could today be called the lord’s work; we’re talking about whistleblowing investigative journalism. In response to the recent controversy surrounding the beef between UberX and the Philadelphia Parking Authority, a Reddit post has surfaced offering a history of some of the PPA’s most questionable actions and practices:

There are few things I hate worse about this city than the Philadelphia Parking Authority. Something just never sat right with me that in a city in seemingly constant financial peril, there is a literal army of enforcement officers out there driving around in brand new cars & tow trucks, apparently operating outside the bounds of any oversight or authority, and leaving the citizens with no recourse to challenge them.

I’ve been doing some research on the organization and thought I’d share a brief timeline & financial overview with you guys in wake of recent controversy. What I found is a history of corruption, wasteful spending, and a complete disregard for the welfare of the city. For many years, it appears that it was actually operating illegally, in breach of the state legislation which granted its authority. If you can find any info I haven’t, a correction, or have anything interesting to contribute, please share.

It’s comprehensive, it’s full of stats and hard facts, and it’s even corroborated by sources not limited to Philly.com. What’s in the report? All kinds of stuff. Since 2005, the PPA has been using much of its taxi and limo management revenue to fund its own operations. Parents United sued the PPA in 2007 for failing to pay funds owed to the city School District. An audit by Ed Rendell’s office was dragged out until 2009, barely scratched the surface thanks to lack of PPA cooperation, and still found management faults and failures. That’s just three examples. The post may not offer any incisive plan of action toward settling the current dispute, but at least it puts it in context. We don’t say this often, but hats off to Reddit.

And Now, Your Morning Monster Movie: Joe Kramer’s Running The Gammatar

Running the Gammatar from Joe Kramer on Vimeo.

Philly filmmaker Joe Kramer sent us his recent opus Running the Gammatar, now nominated for Video of the Week by The Awardeo Company, just in time for halloween. A pitch-perfect hybrid of horror and comedy, Running the Gammatar is your Halloween nightmare, until it turns into your Halloween reality: a giant monster attacks the city, tearing down powerlines and burning off faces, and the city collapses in terror. At first. And then after about fifteen minutes the populace remembers its self-obsessed pettiness. The monster continues to rage, but there’s more important stuff at stake. If such a disaster ever hit Philly, there’s no doubt it would go down like this.