Whatta bunch of old, withered dicks. Let the history booksEncylopedia Metallica show:
11.11.97 Metallica’s free concert, dubbed the “Million Decibel March,” was helt in Philadelphia parking lot and was a great success. For the show’s intro, they showed Jaymz playing the famous ESPN commercials’ “Da-na-na, na-na-na” from the Sportscenter music on his guitar. Here is what the local newspapaer Philadelphia Inquirer had to say about the show: “It was part burlesque show, part rugby match, and hearing-loss loud. The band was profane on stage and charming before the show. Police pronounced the fans better behaved than a Philadelphia Eagles crowd. And neighbors who feared the worst from the self-styled Loudest Band in the World complained more about the sound from the news choppers circling overhead.”
You know, the First Lady has taken a lot of guff lately about her stance on childhood obesity. Her stance being, of course, that it’s bad. And you know, this is one of those things that, in a fit of pique, makes us want to disavow this great land forever. Because the thing is, America, your children are fat. And while we’re at it, many of your adults are fat, too. (And stupid to boot!) These are bad things. So please, by all means, click on Mrs. Obama’s new Let’s Move campaign, launched just a few hours ago. It’s all about getting your fatass kids some exercise and teaching them how to eat right so that they don’t have to learn about it like I did — at the ripe old age of 37. Again, there is nothing wrong with any of this. And if you think there is, please do a dozen pushups and tell me all about it when you regain consciousness.
Whenever we talk to our friends in the museum biz, it’s always the same thing: They’re always very concerned with getting young adults (read: people who don’t have kids and thus are not forced to go to museums) into their respective museums, concerned that the programming is relevant, concerned that when The Olds die off that they will, too. So read “Young Friends Annual Valentine Program: Cougars, Playas, and Baby Mama Drama in the Ancient World” at the Penn Museum the same way we do: A desperate cry for help from the kind of institution that should never be that desperate. That the Penn Museum is this willing to Wendy Williams-ize itself just for your entertainment speaks volumes about just how much they want you to visit the place. They’ll do anything! Just go already. It’s making us sad.
After the January 12 earthquake in Haiti, the United States began airlifting many critically wounded Haitians to Florida hospitals. In the coming days and weeks, Pennsylvania will also begin receiving injured Haitians and their companions. Nationalities Services Center has joined several local agencies as part of a broad local response to deliver vital services and care to adult family members who are accompanying injured patients. And they need your help! Click here to make a donation to NSC as they extending a helping hand to Haitians who are coming to Philadelphia as companions of those injured in the earthquake. But they also need one thing that money can’t buy: Volunteers. Currently, NSC will need volunteers to: · Provide transportation assistance between the hospital and housing for companions or family members · Haitian Creole speakers needed! Provide interpretation services to companions! (Note: Fluent French speakers can also get the job done.) · Provide housing as a host family for companions (and injured Haitian after their release from hospital) · Provide trauma counseling (licensed professionals or prior training required) · Provide community orientation · Donate household supplies including bedding, kitchen and bathroom supplies If this sounds like something you’d be down for, contact Miranda[dot]Barthmus[at]gmail[dot]com.
That’s right: As we speak, the Oppressor class is welcoming none other than that senile failure John McCain to the Union League on Broad between Sansom and Walnut. He will be accompanied by a dinner of liver and onions, not a single joke about tea bagging and a nagging sense that if he hadn’t picked that Alaskan MILF, the world sure as hell would be a pretty different place right about now. Then again, maybe not.
Yes, it’s true: Sade’s first album in nearly 10 years comes out tomorrow. And yes, it is also true: We are oddly psyched. We’ve been checking it out for about a week now, and so far, so good. “Soldier of Love” is the lead single, and there is also this song called “Babyfather” that rules, and seriously, before you even go ahead and make the knee-jerk “yuppie easy listening” comment, know this: If you’ve got a problem with Sade, we don’t wanna know you. She is more punk than punk itself. Sade fans looking for community during this exciting time would do well to visit Silk City tonight, where Back 2 Basics’ Good 2 Go party will be saluting Sade all night, dropping classic Sade cuts, remixes and tracks from the new album.
A fresh volley of shots has been fired in the ongoing battle surrounding efforts to dredge parts of the Delaware River to increase the depth of its shipping channel. (That’s what she said.) On one side are the dredging proponents: The US Army Corps of Engineers, the State of Pennsylvania, and the teamsters. The opposition includes a consortium of environmental groups and representatives in Delaware and New Jersey, many of whom feel that Philadelphia will benefit disproportionately from the dredging, which might stir up layers of toxic sediment in the riverbed, contaminating the environment. The opposition contends that the US Army Corps of Engineers sidestepped securing the approval of the states of Delaware and New Jersey for the project to move forward. At the end of January, US District Court Judge Sue Robinson ruled in favor of the dredging proponents; however, the opponents, led by the Delaware Riverkeeper Network, National Wildlife Federation, New Jersey Environmental Federation, Delaware Nature Society, and Clean Water Action, have just filed an appeal in a new attempt to prevent the dredging from progressing. A lot of commenters on the DelawareOnline article are fired up over the issue, both for and against, but seemingly more against. In an era where the “states’ rights” argument is too often invoked for unrelated reasons, this time it’s legit: Delaware and New Jersey do not have anything obvious to gain from the dredging, and it looks like Pennsylvania (along with some special interest groups) is trying to strong-arm their little brother state/neighbor, Delaware. The fact of the matter is that this is a matter of geography: Without the cooperation of Delaware and New Jersey, Philadelphia would have no access to the Atlantic Ocean at all, and continuing along this path of détente will only lead to additional conflict in the future. Philadelphia is just not in a geographic position to harbor a larger port, and we have to deal with that. Even if we could, would we really want a local version of Elizabeth or Bayonne on our front lawn?
John Murtha, we hardly knew ye. Murtha spoke truth to power, and here he is above, speaking out at the 2006 John F. Kenndy Profile in Courage Awards against the war in Iraq and healthcare.
Submitted by reader bernfiremon, and while we’re on the topic, even as lifelong fans — devotees, even — of The Who, even we must admit: That totally sucked. Enough already, Superbowl. Next year, we demand females and people of color on that stage. Ever since Janet Jackson revealed a sliver of boob, you people have been acting like it’s the second half of Pleasantville and you’re intent on keeping everything boring forever.
We’ve been quite vocal in xpressing our disapproval of corporate behemoth hometown cable and internet provider Comcast’s move to rebrand itself as XFINITY. And guess what… we’re right! The graphic design and branding experts at UnderConsideration’s blog, Brand New, have just posted their review of the new XFINITY name and logo, and they don’t like it either! They describe the XFINITY name as “pompous and clichéd,” largely due to the perceived connection between the letter X and xtreme/tacky/stripper-related products (here’s looking at you, Axe body spray). They also don’t like the detachment between the mandatory all-caps spelling and the lower-case logo, and they note that the spacing between the letters is the logo seems uneven, too tight at the edges, too spaced-out in the center. Brand New’s outsider perspective does allow them to praise the logo’s overall restraint, and the tidy way that the X-F and T-Y letters are angled into each other, something that we, as Philly locals and branding amateurs, might not have been able to see ourselves. But even Brand New admits that XFINITY “might sound more fun than ‘Comcast’ but at least Comcast sounds like a real company with almost fifty years of experience.” Experience doing what, we’re not quite sure, but there you have it: Even to the pros, the XFINITY name doesn’t seem likely to give Comcast much upward mobility out of the corporate lower caste.
IFC Films has picked up the controversial documentary about the Barnes Foundation, The Art Of The Steal. It’s slated for release on February 26 — no listings for local theaters yet — and the film, if the trailer is anything to go buy, is not nice to the politicians and art world of Philadelphia.
Over Snowmageddon Weekend, we finally got to sit down and spend some time watching the Jersey Shore marathon on MTV — we were kinda tired of just hating these people for no reason — and here is what we learned: There’s a Snooki in every crowd — the braying, bossy chubby girl who can’t let anybody just be happy; Sammi Sweetheart is straight up damaged goods and maybe a little, uh, what’s the best way to say this, challenged to boot; Pauly D is hangin’ on to that Serato shit like it’s the only thing that understands him; Vinny and Ronnie are nice boys who will be the only ones to survive all of this just fine; and The Situation aka Mike Sorrentino is basically just a fucking timebomb sociopath. He’s the Spencer Pratt of Jersey Shore, but whereas Spencer has that whole American Psycho panache, The Situation just comes off as common street trash. This notion was confirmed when we got a press release announcing The Situation’s appearance at Buckhead Saloon in NoLibs this Friday night, in which he will… “appear.” We’ve written about Buckhead Saloon before, and if our impressions are correct, this is the kind of place where the bouncers probably have to break up a handful of douchebag fights every weekend — God, it’s like these things are becoming our primary export — so it’s only a matter of time on Friday before somebody (laudably) will try and take a swing at The Situation. For the guy who punched Snooki, it’d be a step up, at least. Maybe he should consider the drive.
>>> We suppose we should get this out of the way sooner than later: That next snow storm you’ve been hearing about — the one that starts late Tuesday and blows clean into Wednesday — has now been upgraded to a blizzard (see conditions for Wednesday). We know you’ve all been paralyzed. Well, this week, prepare to be IMMOBILIZED! [KYW]
>>> Meanwhile, congrats again to Fox29 who, just like they did during the blizzard in December, stayed on the air all day Saturday, eating pizza and cutting away to its reporters stranded on streets in various locales, pointing at stuck cars and going, “Hey, look at that!” Other local news broadcasts — like the wildly podunk CBS3 — also snow-filibustered all day, which has brought us to the next logical step in this sort of coverage, with every station now blasting out in-house promos about how they had you covered better than anyone else on this local-man-in-the-snow nonsense. For our money, though, Fox29 still has this on lockdown though, because what would a Fox affiliate be, after all, if it did not specialize in The Reportage Of Nothingness? [Philebrity's Greatest Hits]
>>> And finally, as the city is headed in the direction of breaking the largest accumulated snowfall on record this winter — which may happen as soon as this Wednesday — one thing to keep in mind: Please, Nutter, don’t dump it all into the river. That didn’t work out so good last time. [Wikipedia]
With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, we’ve been thinking about all of our single readers, all of whom we know would just be so much happier if only they were in relationships. (Ed: Really? Really?) What could we do to help them find “the one?” Since we know that they spend lots of time online (reading Philebrity), we figured that the best course of action would be to go where they are (cyberspace), read their Craigslist ads, and pair them up two-by-two, equipping them with the tools and information necessary to start up a happy romance. Thus was born The Craigslist Matchmaker: Like a meddling old lady from a bygone era, the Craigslist Matchmaker is a possessor of rare knowledge and keen instincts to help our single readers navigate love’s battlefield. Today, the Craigslist Matchmaker has generously decided to help “Generous Gent,” a 38 year-old PA male. Here’s what he’s looking for:
“I am looking for a very sexy gal to join me for some comfortable evenings out. This can be a very “rewarding” experience as I can contribute to your fun “fund” as you desire.
After the January 12 earthquake in Haiti, the United States began airlifting many critically wounded Haitians to Florida hospitals. In the coming days and weeks, Pennsylvania will also begin receiving injured Haitians and their companions. 
That’s right: As we speak, the Oppressor class is welcoming none other than that senile failure John McCain to the Union League on Broad between Sansom and Walnut. He will be accompanied by a dinner of liver and onions, not a single joke about tea bagging and a nagging sense that if he hadn’t picked that Alaskan MILF, the world sure as hell would be a pretty different place right about now. Then again, maybe not.
A fresh volley of shots has been fired in the ongoing battle surrounding efforts to dredge parts of the Delaware River to increase the depth of its shipping channel. (That’s what she said.) On one side are the dredging 
We’ve been 
Over Snowmageddon Weekend, we finally got to sit down and spend some time watching the Jersey Shore marathon on MTV — we were kinda tired of just hating these people for no reason — and here is what we learned: There’s a Snooki in every crowd — the braying, bossy chubby girl who can’t let anybody just be happy; Sammi Sweetheart is straight up damaged goods and maybe a little, uh, what’s the best way to say this, challenged to boot; Pauly D is hangin’ on to that Serato shit like it’s the only thing that understands him; Vinny and Ronnie are nice boys who will be the only ones to survive all of this just fine; and The Situation aka Mike Sorrentino is basically just a fucking timebomb sociopath. He’s the Spencer Pratt of Jersey Shore, but whereas Spencer has that whole American Psycho panache, The Situation just comes off as common street trash. This notion was confirmed when we got a press release announcing The Situation’s appearance at Buckhead Saloon in NoLibs this Friday night, in which he will… “appear.” 
With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, we’ve been thinking about all of our single readers, all of whom we know would just be so much happier if only they were in relationships. (Ed: Really? Really?) What could we do to help them find “the one?” Since we know that they spend lots of time online (reading Philebrity), we figured that the best course of action would be to go where they are (cyberspace), read their Craigslist ads, and pair them up two-by-two, equipping them with the tools and information necessary to start up a happy romance. Thus was born The Craigslist Matchmaker: Like a meddling old lady from a bygone era, the Craigslist Matchmaker is a possessor of rare knowledge and keen instincts to help our single readers navigate love’s battlefield. Today, the Craigslist Matchmaker has generously decided to help “
