Five Snappy Answers For The Person Who Will Inevitably Complain To You About The Soda Tax
"You’re right, you look great."
"I know, right? My dog tasted water for the first time today and promptly shit all over the place."
"I love you, and I want you to know that you’re better than this."
"Hahahah, you’re still hoarding BetaMax tapes, you weird old pervert?"
"I have of late, (but wherefore I know not) lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition; that this goodly frame the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy the air, look you, this brave o'er hanging firmament, this majestical roof, fretted with golden fire: why, it appeareth no other thing to me, than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an Angel! in apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals!"