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 February's Bachlorette of the Month |
Sara Sara is the little sister of folk-pop sensation Jewel. This is no joke. They have the same dentist. Sad thing is, Sara has a horrid voice. That is the only thing that got Jewel out of that frozen land to the North. So Sara needs another way out. She is desperate. Licking ice-cubes is fun for about 2 min, but it gets old. And life up there aint like "Northern Exposure". There is no Dr. Flisheman. Just a dirty old man with a medical journal from 1977, in an ice-fishing shack. She recently met up with some Russian men who are in the mail-order bride business. She thinks it is a good idea, but wants to cut out the middleman. She tells us that the Russian Mafia takes too large a commission. That is why she asked for our help. She here she is. On the market. Do you have $10,000 and a queen size bed? |
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Tiffany Is Michigan an English providence? I never knew. The guys from Primal Scream are flying over to wax your yankee ass, so use a baby wipe you bloke. |
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Vallorie Chappel
Honey, I Plumped Up The Kid. |
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