Reader Analysis: JOHN KERRY COURTS YOUNG AND FUCKABLE FEMALE VOTE
With exit polls pouring in, one thing is apparent: John Kerry has focused like a laser on a target group of voters never before considered crucial in the final days of campaigning: women aged 18-24, and blazing hot.
A Kerry aide explained the campaign strategy, saying, “This a group that historically has not even registered to vote, much less one that gets out to the polls on election day. We’re spending time with these lovely young ladies to try get them to participate in the process, and we hope, turn the election in our favor. “
The reason this group of voters hasn’t been involved in politics? They’re too busy dealing with the highly charged sexual desire that is directed at them every waking moment of their lives.
“John Kerry cares deeply about gorgeous young women. Some might even say he fathered two of them. So he understands what their lives are like, and he wants to help.”
“It’s been a long, hard campaign, and it’s nice to finish just hanging out with beautiful young women,” explained another Kerry staffer.
At campaign headquarters, a chief strategist dismissed musings from the GOP that this courting sounded something like Clinton would do. “There is absolutely nothing inappropriate going on. We have merely approaching this target market in the way that they are accustomed to being approached: in night clubs with the offer of free drinks to buy a window of five minutes in which to talk.”
Senator Kerry addressed 100 young female voters at a Ladies Night Event at a Columbus, OH night club last week. “I hope you’re all enjoying your cosmopolitans.I want you all to know that I’m incredibly attracted to you and I would love nothing more than for you to vote for me on November 2nd.”
A GOP campaign official remarked, “Are we really to believe that Senator Kerry and his staff are talking to these hot young women, buying them drinks, essentially making sexual advances on them, and then that’s it?”
More troubling to others is the value of this focus at this crucial time in the campaign. The Kerry campaign could have been spending this time convincing undecideds in the six states that are considered by pollsters too close to call.
“I don’t think it’s wise to concentrate on bimbos when this election is going down to the wire.It could cost him the election,” says Elena Briggs of Cleveland, who is 35 and fat and ugly.
Regardless of whether this is a smart play by the Kerry team, staffers all agree it has given the campaign season a “happy ending.”
“If it doesn’t work, we can’t say that we didn’t have a good time trying. It beats the hell out of talking to old people about prescription drugs and health care.
