We’ve never had a sparring partner quite like Steven Wells who, sadly, passed away last night after a long battle with cancer. And in another life, we could have been thick as thieves — that’s the way it always is between arch-nemeses. When Steven Wells came to Philadelphia, he’d already done his time at NME in the late 80s and 90s, when he apparently suffered through the birth of all that he’d come to deride one day as “twee.” In Philebrity, and this site’s editor, Wells saw an outsize version of feyness that literally drove him to distraction. At one point, no less than a whole month’s worth of Wells’ columns were devoted to the perceived lifestyle infractions of Sweeney and/or Philebrity. A number of them even had illustrations.
But here’s the thing: We had the good the fortune to speak at length with Wells on a few occasions, and frankly, he was fucking awesome. He was bright, he was hilarious, he was very much attuned to things like sexual politics and the self-congratulatory nature of the media (even, especially, the so-called “alternative” media) and had a way of talking about these things where you could allow him to spew just forever. Given his impressive resumé, we’d always wondered why and how on earth he’d wound up at Philadelphia Weekly. Sure, many of his columns there were dashed-off affairs; Wells treated that paper like the fishwrap it is, and rightly so. But he cared deeply about his friends and the new tribe of co-conspirators he found himself among here. A few years ago, we were trying to do a piece about a movement, led in part by Wells, to oust an editor at PW, viewed by many to thwart any move towards new life the staff made, through a signature combination of ineffectuality, passive-aggressiveness and really, when it came down to it, just not fucking caring. At the time, Wells couldn’t go on the record about the matter, but since we shared the PW experience, we wound up chatting for a long time about the culture at that paper. Citing this fucked-up standard or that, Wells would say, more than once, “It’s fucking disgusting.”
“It’s fucking disgusting,” as it happens, could very well sum up the Steven Wells stance. Much of what he wrote about — America’s obsession with religion, those for whom posture is more important than substance, and so on — could in fact be summed up just this way. And at the risk of repeating himself, Wells said it, over and again. Well, Steven, frankly, we think it’s fucking disgusting that you died. We’ll miss ya, buddy.
Dearest Eddie,
You know we love ya, don’t you? Or maybe the better word would be “loved.” After all, all that A Prayer For The City stuff, the whole re-invention of Center City, and so much of all that stuff that we write about every day… it’s all because of you. And we know that. And we also know that this whole ill-advised casino thing has been a twinkle in your eye since forever, and when it finally happens, it may very well unravel a lot of the good you did when you were here. We have a theory about that.
Eddie, you’ve got a classic case of Big Man Fever. You love to eat. You love the ladies. And whatever you do, it’s gotta be big, whether it’s civic ambition or, uh, whatever it was you were doing here. Thing about Big Man Fever is, though, that it secretly masks a hidden pain, a desire to blow it all because you think you don’t deserve it, a self-hating tick that wants to negate every good thing you’ve ever done.
This, we think, is what propelled you to be such a total and complete fucking pig and take over $1M in gaming industry contributions between 2001 and 2008. I mean, that’s Big Man Fever if ever we saw it. You knew it was gonna come out. You knew it had the potential to change the way people thought about you forever. And you knew you had to do it, because that’s just part of who you are. And now you’re in the shit.
We don’t know if we’ll ever be able to forgive you, Eddie. We barely even know who you are anymore. But we do know this: You don’t need to hate yourself in this way. There’s plenty of people in politics who will always be there to do it for you. But right now, you don’t need any hate at all. What you need, old buddy, is help. And we sincerely hope you get it.
It does not take a professional psychologist — hell, it doesn’t even take a college freshman — to speculate that the motivating factors behind Joey Vento’s aggressive pro-authoritarian stance (and the aggressively pro-authoritarian cheesesteak experience that comes with it) stem from the fact that he always wanted to be a cop but never could. (Oh, take a wild guess why.) So, in a way, you can thank Fox29 for running this very possibly specious piece on how Vento might have been the target of a big robbery but — surprise! — the cops got tipped off before it happens. It allows the tiny terror to flex his cop muscles in a way he seldom gets to do (outside the gaze of a lonely mirror-filled room amidst a herd of motorcycles):
If they did it and I got that gun out, you’re dead. Let me tell ya something, I will not sit around trying to wound you in the arm. I’m putting you away.
>>> It’s a grey summer afternoon, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t spend the rest of it (and tonight) getting to know the good people who make records on the Bee Eater label: Hustle Simmons (we won’t shut up about them until you agree with us that they’re the best hip-hop act in town right now), Fel Sweetberg (who just got leaked on OkayPlayer) and Ethel Cee (who just got back from a string of UK dates). They’re all playing the Bee Eater Showcase tonight at Silk City, it’s only $5, and this has Next Big Thing written all over it. You have no excuse?
>>> Q: What’s the difference between the exuberant craziness that will be the Pansy Division show at North Star Bar tonight, and the cringe-y frat scene that’s a gamble everytime the Lemonheads play Philly, such as tonight, when they do Johnny Brenda’s?
A: The crowd at Pansy Division have already admitted they’re gay.
We’ve been completely remiss thus far in not posting about this year’s Xponential Music Festival, WXPN’s annual vibe-a-thon that you might think you are too cool for, but really, you are not. Sure, The Hold Steady, the 4th Worst Band In Philly circa 2006, are playing, and that’s annoying, but by the time they go on, you’ll already be passed on a lawn while a bunch of kids use all-natural crayons to draw on your face. There’s also Peter Bjorn & John, Pete Yorn, Good Old War, Illinois, Yeasayer, The Revelations, and Annuals on the bill (among many others), including the bill’s most recent addition, John Forté (pictured). You may recognize Forté’s name from his work producing The Score by The Fugees, an album we’re going to illegally download and turn up LOUD the minute this post goes live. Forté’s got an interesting story, which he talks about in this Billboard piece; in 2000, he was caught with $1.4 million’s worth of liquid cocaine. He went to jail, only to be pardoned by George W. Bush after Carly Simon and Orrin Hatch lobbied for his release. (We told you it was an interesting story.) Since his pardon, Forté has been super-prolific, including this cover of Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill,” which sounds like it could have been a Fugees track, if the Fugees had not imploded and Wyclef Jean did not become the black Robin Williams. But we digress: If you are thinking about going to Xponential Fest this year, buy tickets now — there’s an early bird special that’s way cheap, but it expires on July 11. It’s never too late to plan today just which lawns in Camden you’ll be passing out on tomorrow.
Yesterday, Comcast and Time Warnerannounced that they are in the process of building their own answer toHulu, called TV Everywhere. The fundamental difference? It only works if you’re already paying for it. The two companies just signed on with Turner Broadcasting System Inc.’s various television stations to feature what, to us, sounds like an online TV vehicle that could really go either way: As in, they would seem to be building Cable TV To Go. Let’s say you’re a Comcast subscriber, and you’re on the road: TV Everywhere would allow you to log in with your Comcast account info and watch any number of programs, which maybe, sorta, might be kind of useful or fun for someone somewhere. (It might also, speculators say, allow cable networks currently not represented on Hulu to push/preview new original content the way some networks do on Hulu.) The whole thing is explained more in-depth here at NewTeeVee, but one thing isn’t explained: Why?
Maybe it’s just our long-repressed inner goth acting out again, but we have to admit to already being pretty stoked for this fall’s Haunted Poe, a production that will take the form of a haunted house tour where the audience gets to experience scenes from several of Edgar Allen Poe’s most famous works. While that leaves us with ample time to search each and every Hot Topic in the greater Philadelphia area for the perfect studded accessories to wear, there isn’t nearly as much time to prepare for this Thursday’s workshop and cabaret designed to give a foretaste of the awesomeness that will be Haunted Poe. Taking place at the Latvian Society at 531 North 7th St. at Spring Garden (just across the street from the Edgar Allan Poe National Historic Site, open for free visits from 9am-5pm), the day will officially begin at 1pm with artist and performer Dame Darcy hosting a workshop to make dolls of the women from Poe’s stories and personal life. At 8pm, you can catch a cabaret entitled Murder Ballads, Shanties, and other Poe-etics, which stars several local artists and musicians. Mr. Poe himself is even set to make an appearance (hopefully he isn’t too decomposed by now). Best of all, you’ll also be privy to some previews from Haunted Poe. This might all sound macabre, but we’ve been assured that kids will love it (especially more than certain other local performances). We’ve got the tickets to give away. You’ve got the boring Thursday. Let us help you! To enter to win, email ihopeiwin[at]philebrity[dot]com with “Poe” in the subject header. You’ll automatically be subscribed to the forthcoming new Philebrity Reader weekly newsletter and win chances for other exclusive free stuff. We’ll pick the winner soon, so get those entries in.
On one hand, you could argue that, if you do in fact really, really dislike children, you just shouldn’t live in the suburbs period; after all, these are, and have always been and always will be, the eye of the child-rearing, kids-are-always-at-the-center-of-every-conversation storm. On the other, give it up to Phoenixville’s Michael Buck for finding the ultimate way of saying, “Hey, you damned kids! Get the hell offa my lawn!”: By blasting the soundtrack from a porn movie out his windows until horrified parents came out to collect their kids. Multiple counts of corruption of minors, disseminating explicit sexual material to a minor, and one count of disorderly conduct = $5,000 bail. But the memories? Priceless.
Somewhere in the long canyon of WTF that was The Digital Transition, a weird little network called THIS TV appeared in the Philly area; for many former antenna/analog TV viewers, it was one of the few benefits of their new DTV converter. For here was a channel that shows the kind of TV that mom used to make: THIS shows Patty Duke and Mister Ed. THIS shows old movies like AMC used to, but it also shows made-for-TV crap starring Betty White. THIS is like the TV that Don Knotts was living inside of in the movie Pleasantville. But where did it come from? According to Wikipedia, THIS launched last fall in anticipation of the DTV switch and the hungry, broke, previously all-analog audience. And even though THIS is a joint venture between Metro–Goldwyn–Mayer and Chicago-based Weigel Broadcasting Co., we’ll be damned if we’ve seen a single piece of marketing for it. THIS just seemed to drop out of the digital ether one day, fully formed in the body of a television network, but strangely, bearing none of the personality traits you’ve come to associate with TV networks — which has caused THIS to be something of a cult sensation. Everybody thinks that they discovered THIS. And in a way, they’re right. Because THIS, as it stands now, is totally what you make of it. Unless you get cable, in which case, you’ll forget all about THIS. Hey, that should be their slogan!
The Philadelphia Independent Film Festival (hereafter referred to as PIFF) kicks off this Thursday the 25th, and will run until Sunday the 28th. PIFF will showcase the work of locals as well as out-of-towners and will be jam-packed with round table discussions, meet and greets, and panels, not to mention a ton of great independent films.
North Bowl will host a $30 opening night extravaganza on Thursday, with an evening chock full of free bowling, hors d’oeuvres, free drinks, and plenty of door prizes and swag. Other venues include 941 Theater, Exit Skate Shop, Video Smith, Yards Brewery, The Piazza, Arbol Cafe, and The Philadelphia Soundstages. You can find a full schedule of events here.
And make sure you at least get out to see some of your fellow compatriots’ work, like Philly Boy Joe Stakun’s documentary, I Love My Bicycle showing at Moore College on Friday at 6 and 8 PM and at City Fitness on Sunday at 2 PM.
In case you’re just joining us, yesterday, we began the day by wondering what the hell was up with Gary Barbera’s Obama Trade-O-Rama ads, and if these advertisements were A) mutedly racist B) just disrespectful overall or C) just really, really weird. After we made the post, debates and claims of wonderment went on in the office for a good part of the day, until one of the interns discovered that, in point of fact, Gary Barbera did not start the fire. The fire being strange Obama impersonator TV commercials. Today, we have more news for you: If you turn your attention to the video at right, you’ll discover that Obama-tising is actually an international phenomenon. This ad hails from the Philippines, and is apparently for some kind of dyspepsia cure. Thank you, we could use some.
Meanwhile, some snooping into the politics of Gary Barbera reveals another strange tidbit: Barbera donated $20K to the Obama campaign last year, and almost another $10K to other Democratic candidates. So I guess this makes it all okay, and Barbera is in on the high camp of the ads? But, in a Bruno-esque way, maybe he’s doing more harm than good? So many questions. Not least among them: Is Gary Barbera the best (at making strange auto dealer ads that we get sidetracked debating over for the better part of a day)? Boy, we guess.
Says our reader: “Or just a really ugly piece of roadkill on 20th Street. Or if you have to tie it into your current theme, this is how I picture Arthur Kade’s soul.” Either way, we say, it’s nasty. And curious at the same time. So, yeah, we definitely get your Kade/roadkill vibe. Whoa.
Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.
>>> Oh, hey, remember A Sunny Day In Glasgow? It’s been a long (too damned long!) time since we checked in with these guys, but good things come to those who wait: The dreamy-droney, poppy-avant-garde groop (pictured) has just announced that its sophomore full-length, Ashes Grammar, will be out in September. Fun facts: This time out, the band is a real band (ASDIG’s debut was a one-man, one-mic affair), there’s a “doo-wop” track on it, and there’s also a tune called “West Philly Vocoder.” Co-signed. We’ll leak it when we get it. [ASDIG]
>>> Everybody stop what you are doing and go download Sun Airway’s Oh NaokoEP right now. This is the bliss-pop electronic remains of The A-Sides, reborn as top-down summer tunes that go great with sunglasses, your oldest t-shirt and a mid-afternoon buzz. And like all the music in the world, it is free. [SunAirways]
>>> And finally, yesterday, our pals at the new non-profit musician-advocacy thing Weathervane Music released their newest project series and MP3 downloads: This time, it’s East Hundred. Go dig that, too. WeatherVane’s official launch party is this Thursday at Kung Fu Necktie [WeathervaneMusic]
Oh, look at you, acting like you don’t already know: The latest chapter in the Jon-&-Gate-Plus-Eight-Gate scandal unfolded last night, with the Gosselins announcing that they are filing for divorce after ten years of marriage. What’s bad for the Gosselin family is apparently good for Southeast Pennsylvania, as the influence of Kate’s golden touch extends beyond her hair to the Google Trends chart, where as of this writing, “Wernersville Pennsylvania” is currently riding high at number 31, outpacing “Sarah Jessica Parker Twins,” “Woot Tracker,” and “Childhood Obesity.” (Jesus.) Last night’s episode was also powerful enough to send “Crooked Houses” and “Kids Crooked Playhouse” to numbers one and two, respectively, on yesterday’s Google Trends, despite the fact that their placement on the Gosselin Estate was a key factor in an argument with Jon that Kate likened to “World War III.” It’s also worth noting that some viewers showed evidence of not being able to understand Jon and Kate’s thick Pennsylvania accents, as “Cricket Houses” took the number 85 spot. While their show becomes increasingly unwatchable with each passing week, its stars’ influence on popular trends is an indication that people can’t look away, and that they still want a piece of the Gosselin lifestyle, even if that piece takes the form of a children’s playhouse. Since Wernersville is the new hot spot, how long will it be until a bus line offering Wernersville day trips from Philly sets up shop? The Gosselin marriage may be over, but the juggernaut plows ahead.
At 2PM today, your Philadelphia 76ers pulled the ultimate throwback move and went back to their old logo and brand (seen at right). You know, the one they had when they were great. The one they had before their mascot was the weird bunny from Donnie Darko and instead, Big Shot called the shots. The one they had when Converse Dr. J’s were literally the baddest-ass sneakers on the market. If there is anyone out there who can refute this incontrovertible decision — that perhaps the best way to lock in on a great future is to channel your champions past — well, we don’t wanna hear about it. More details at The 700 Level.
We’ve never had a sparring partner quite like Steven Wells who, sadly, passed away last night after a long battle with cancer. And in another life, we could have been thick as thieves — that’s the way it always is between arch-nemeses. When Steven Wells came to Philadelphia, he’d already done his time at NME in the late 80s and 90s, when he apparently suffered through the birth of all that he’d come to deride one day as “twee.” In Philebrity, and this site’s editor, Wells saw an outsize version of feyness that literally drove him to distraction. At one point, no less than a whole month’s worth of Wells’ columns were devoted to the perceived lifestyle infractions of Sweeney and/or Philebrity. A number of them even had illustrations.
Dearest Eddie,
It does not take a professional psychologist — hell, it doesn’t even take a college freshman — to speculate that the motivating factors behind 
>>> It’s a grey summer afternoon, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t spend the rest of it (and tonight) getting to know the good people who make records on the 
We’ve been completely remiss thus far in not posting about this year’s 
Yesterday, Comcast and Time Warner 
Maybe it’s just our long-repressed inner goth acting out again, but we have to admit to already being pretty stoked for this fall’s 
On one hand, you could argue that, if you do in fact really, really dislike children, you just shouldn’t live in the suburbs period; after all, these are, and have always been and always will be, the eye of the child-rearing, kids-are-always-at-the-center-of-every-conversation storm. On the other, give it up to Phoenixville’s Michael Buck for finding the ultimate way of saying, “Hey, you damned kids! Get the hell offa my lawn!”: 
Somewhere in the long canyon of WTF that was 
>>> Oh, hey, remember 
Oh, look at you, acting like you don’t already know: The latest chapter in the Jon-&-Gate-Plus-Eight-Gate scandal unfolded last night, with the Gosselins announcing that they are filing for divorce after ten years of marriage. What’s bad for the Gosselin family is apparently good for Southeast Pennsylvania, as the influence of Kate’s golden touch extends beyond her 
At 2PM today,
