According to philly.com, PA’s Shippensburg University has installed the most sexually progressive vending machine concept since those skeevy used schoolgirl panty dispensers in Japan. Instead, it’s offering students Plan B for cheap and easy: The morning-after pill comes at about half the store price, at $25. An overwhelming 85% of the student body supported the project. So, it’s probably a good, sensible idea, right? Yes. Our only question is, what do you do if it gets stuck? There’s a solid three minutes of personal interface with a janitor you’re never gonna get back.
We may have mentioned it before, but a little while ago, MTV had this show called Is She Really Going Out With Him? where nice girls were profiled and they had to decide at the end of the episode if they wanted to stay with their (proven) douchebag boyfriends. Well, we’ve seen that show (more than once) and it seemed like every herb on the show was a “party promoter.” It’s this kind of stuff that makes us remember those horrible times we watched that show.
Over the last few weeks the people at HITC — it’s some chain bullshit called “Hot In The City,” if you must know — have been doing their filthy business, scouring the bars in the city (actually, mostly Old City), and this Thursday, the finals in Hottest in the City: Philadelphia are going down at Mad River in Old City (doesn’t this fit more at the Manayunk spot?). The finalists were decided through online voting after they signed up at any of the previous events and will compete in street wear, formal wear, and (of course) swim wear. And you can get $1 Bud Lights! And $100 bottle service! It’s like herb heaven!
We’ve been hesitant (no we haven’t) to officially declare Old City for the herbs (been this way for years), but this may be the straw, however tiny, that breaks the camels back (that camel was shot in the face years ago). The tanned, Red Bull and vodka drinking, tight-shirted straw (but you can rely on the fact that there will be others).
The new video from (ex-Capitol Year) Shai Halperin‘s Sweet Lights was directed by Albert Birney (Spinto Band, Dr. Dog, Ra Ra Riot) and Vanessa Lauria and features the following:
· Alexander Neumann – 19th and 20th century Austrian architect (Halperin’s great great grandfather) · Wilhelm Stiassny – also an Austrian architect! (1st cousin 4 times removed) · Hedwig Pisling Neumann – 19th century painter (great great grandma)
… As well as Shai’s parents (guy in hot air balloon, mom with gun). Sweet Lights’ self-titled debut LP is out on April 30.
Last year, when we made our little rant about the inherent annoyingness of Kickstarter, we were quick to point out that it all gets a lot less annoying when folks use crowdfunding to do things that directly benefit their communities (as opposed to, say, making more blogrock). It would seem that acclaimed local filmmaker Jamie Moffett is in league with us on that one, as he’s the mind behind Kensington Renewal, a crowdfunding project that seeks to unblight the most blighted-out parts of Kensington.
Moffett explains: “We’re looking to buy abandoned/damaged housing, often from slumlords, to rehab and sell to owner-occupied families. Owner occupancy correlates with crime stats, so we’re hoping to help families into home ownership while fighting crime in a Philly neighborhood that could really use the help.” Think of it as a very enlightened (and far less profit-driven) house-flipping operation. On the Kensington Renewal site, interested parties can choose their funding adventure, whether it’s investing, donating or just helping the cause with the purchase of a t-shirt. Currently, KR is using HelpersUnite to fund its first project, purchasing one of the many “Abandominiums” up for grabs in the Kenz.
So there you have it: The world is not totally made of shit. Have you got some good news? If so, send it to tips[at]philebrity[dot]com with “GOOD MOTHERFUCKING NEWS!” in the subject header — we’d love to hear about it.
SO: It’s bad. Even when I go over to Thailand to visit my buddy, when shit gets weird, and it feels so good. O Moloch! Moloch whose walls are closing as the paper could go up for sale yet again! Moloch who can no longer preach to the choir of the dumb, dumb dum-dum Philadelphia of the 1970s and 1980s! Moloch where a man could Teddy Pendergrass tranny whore car wreck John Travolta blowout and it was EXPECTED! Moloch who could sweep it all away.
And now comes the end. Moloch who just wanted to get away for a while. Moloch, who is surely not as guilty of the crimes of, say, a Sandusky, or even, perhaps, a Cosby. Moloch who has been but a bystander to history all of this time. Moloch, who now has no choice but to become it. Moloch a product of a different age. Moloch who does not understand the ever-shifting privacy controls of Facebook. Moloch, who should have gotten while the getting was good.
Directed by Ted Passon for the new Philly In Focus channel right over here, which is this sort of Comcast OnDemand public access-y type thing (that’s currently looking for content but, alas, does not pay for content).
This just in, and just in time to stoke any number of watercooler/Facebook conversations in which aging white males (and the women who love them) decry pretty much everything about Madonna‘s SuperBowl halftime show (which, for the record, we kind of loved): Madge will kick off the North American leg of her 2012 world tour here in Philly on Tuesday, August 28 at Wells Fargo Center. Tickets go on sale Monday, February 13 at 10am. Tickets will cost somewhere in the range between 2-3 iPhones and 4 months of COBRA payments.
Here are some of the highlights of Nutter’s address, released today, which covered plans for future renovation and a summary of recent changes:
(But first, announcing the first winner of Edward Powell Award since 2003, for greatest financially beneficial businessman — and its $100,000 prize: Richard Hayne, President, Chairman of the Board and CEO of Urban Outfitters. May the plaid-uniformed behemoth of indie chic reign forever.)
>>> POPULATION: According to 2010 census, we are growing. So, too, is our employment rate, though no specific numbers were given.
>>> CONSTRUCTION: Plans to revitalize shady areas like Market East, and, perhaps most excitingly, the long-vacant North Philly landmark, the Divine Lorraine, are in the works. Among recent improvements: “the City’s first pop-up park in front of the Green Line Café,” and the 900-construction-job-creating Dilworth Plaza, “the People’s Plaza for the People’s Hall.”
>>> EDUCATION: In an effort to restructure the public school system, Nutter has announced plans to make “strategic cuts” over and above the closing of schools on weekends. The “Philadelphia Great Schools Compact… will improve or remove the lowest performing 50,000 seats in the Philadelphia school system.”
>>> CRIME: Following the controversial $20,000 bounty for information leading and up to $500 for an illegal gun, we’ll see “more overtime to put more police officers on the street right now… and send a message to those who carry illegal guns on the streets of Philadelphia: Got a gun, go to jail. Right now.”
>>> GOVERNMENT: Philadelphia Gas Works may be on the market:
As City Council stated, the City of Philadelphia has many assets and some of them have a greater value to the private sector… In fact, we will soon release a detailed analysis… that examines the possible sale of PGW to a private entity.
So, there you have it: We’re revitalizing our lost gems, building new infrastructures, and selling our assets. Down with the old, up with the new and improved.
When Jon Foy began documenting the search for the source of the mysterious Toynbee Tiles seen all over the United States and South America, he probably didn’t expect to be lead on a journey that would take him to Sundance to receive an award for Best Director in the Documentary category, but it is where the road took him. The doc, which explores Foy, Justin Duerr, and cohorts as they attempt to track down the source of the mysterious tiles (found in a larger number in Philadelphia) takes numerous twists and turns that lead our investigators further into the web of the mystery that may not have an end. The “let’s go on an adventure” hunt for information may border on the obsessive, but when you’re brought in on the investigation you’ll feel the desire for answers just as strongly.
Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles will be having its DVD release party at The Troc Balcony tonight, featuring a screening and a Q&A with Jon Foy afterwards. Check out our short talk with Foy after the jump. (more…)
Please Touch Museum To Welcome 2 Millionth Guest To Memorial Hall On February 7
What: Please Touch Museum expects to greet the 2 millionth visitor to Memorial Hall on February 7.
The guest and family will be recognized by Museum President & CEO Laura Foster, Museum staff, other Museum guests and characters including the Mad Hatter. A prize package will also be provided.
Confetti cannons, music, lights, a dance party, Museum characters and a large celebratory cake will mark the occasion.
Please please please let it be a UPS guy on his first day on the job.
But then, you were never supposed to. Last Thursday, in a by-invitation-only event at the Kelly Writers House, the Velvets leader sat down with Rolling Stone‘s Anthony DeCurtis to talk poetry and rock and the art of cultivating cool, a la Andy Warhol, in a terminally unimpressed monotone. Except when he breaks character. At the 41:53 mark in this video, Reed bursts into the soliloquy at the end of “Street Hassle”, coming alive, gaining speed: “It’s a true story built to get you to there.” And where was Lulu — the critically panned collaboration with Metallica — built to get us? Well, considering it borrows its lyrical rhythms from the dialogue in Shakespeare’s Richard III (via Kevin Spacey), if you don’t get it, “It’s an idiot for an idiot.” In that case… yeah, we still don’t really get it.
Any day there’s a new Hennessy Youngman video is a happy day around here. Yo, somebody retweet this to the Live Arts/Fringe people, please. (Also, if you find yourself falling down the Hennessy Youngman rabbit hole, definitely watch the Damien Hirst episode while you are at it.)
However, as of Friday, it looked like Rendell might could step into the fray, with no less than Johnny Doc as a business partner, which could possibly make the Inky the first newspaper ever owned by people who do not know how to read. Which, okay, is even more terrifying than Brian Tierney re-entering the fray. OR, it could be just the kind of fresh breath of “We’re Philadelphians, too, so fuck you” air that the unions who’ve been slowly killing these papers for years need. We can’t tell. It’s a mess and you don’t care anyway. Let’s go dig up some shit about catbreading for you.
“Saint Joseph’s University fully supports and is in agreement with the Catholic Church’s teachings regarding homosexuality and same sex marriage,” they wrote on their Facebook page. “As a Catholic, Jesuit university, Saint Joseph’s is a welcoming, inclusive community. Our focus is on respect and caring for all individuals as individuals.”
Now, as an SJU alum, I can tell you that this is pretty embarrassing. But it’s also totally par for the course within the culture of the University, whose amalgamated politics we can call “podunk progressive”; that is to say, there’s an element out there on City Ave. that has always been stuck in 1960. Maybe it’s the student body, largely imported from New Jersey suburbs where parents are still attempting to raise their kids in some kind of Leave It To Beaver homogenous fantasy, or maybe it’s the historic disconnect between the proudly and righteously liberal Jesuit priests who run the place (that’s a good thing, yo) and the rest of the Catholic constituency, to whom the Jesuits are forever forced to pay lip service. Either way, no social issue of any import arrives at SJU until it’s delivered to their doorstep as a flaming bag of dog poop. Then, and only then, do they figure out the right way to handle it. And it usually takes a couple of tries.
But that’s just how they roll. It’s a sleepy place. For at the same time all of this was going on, one reader emailed us from campus:
My [s.o. is] taking a class at St. Joe’s and the original professor that was supposed to teach it had taught most of the students before in another class. He was planning on teaching the class online and recorded a lot of lectures for it. Unfortunately, the professor died suddenly and the replacement is now spending part of the class playing the dead guy’s lectures forcing everyone to be visited by a ghost for an hour a time.
Now, that’s the St. Joe’s we know. The Hawk will never die, and if he does, well, just in case, he’s left audio of his lectures behind.
Oh hey, we’re going to try doing a Daily Poll each morning now, wherein we ask you, the people of Philadelphia, random things about your life here, and on Earth. Got a question you want to see the people answer? Suggest it at: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.
>>> Well, pin a Merit Badge on us: A bunch of Philly’s Bandcampers come together for WXPN and JB’s Bandcamp Hunter Music Series, featuring Snowmine, Gracie, and Tours. >>> The gorgeously strung White Birds (formerly, mostly, known as Drink Up Buttercup) harmonize for their lives at Kung Fu Necktie tonight.
SATURDAY: >>> You know, we know it: Hip-hop ingenues Jedi Mind Tricks are returning to Philly tonight infused with fresh, religiously-charged blood at this much-hyped Union Transfer performance. Get out of your head, and into the Spirit. >>> Embrace the shadowy Americana of the deep-souled Broken Prayers, with August Lutz and The Lawsuits at the Tritone. >>> Jack’s Mannequin comes to the TLA, with Allen Stone and effervescently sinister pop-mongers, Jukebox the Ghost. If you can’t make this round, they’ll be back on Monday. >>>Meanwhile, at the Level Room, New Orleans-born comedian Mark Normand, who once said of Christian rock: “If you can’t beat ‘em, ruin it,” brings his excellent flavor of wry to the streets. Hosted by Tom Cassidy.
SUNDAY: >>> That hole in your wallet starting to smolder? Try your nerves at West Philly Ethiopian joint Dahlak’s every-other-Sunday open mic/contest, Not While I’m Eating: Yo Mamma Edition with Dr. Thunder. Free to perform, $3 to enter for a chance to win 50 bucks. She’ll never know. >>> What beats a Hi-Life-chuggin’, wife-smackin’ good time? Puppies. Specifically, one rescued puppy: Josh Baskin, a miniature wet-nosed camera whore and honorary Philebrity, who makes a cameo on Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl VIII at 3PM. Tomorrow, we invite you to collectively scout for our next victim-turned-reality star.
According to philly.com, PA’s Shippensburg University has installed the most sexually progressive vending machine concept since those skeevy used schoolgirl panty dispensers in Japan. Instead, it’s offering students Plan B for cheap and easy: The morning-after pill comes at about half the store price, at $25. An overwhelming 85% of the student body supported the project. So, it’s probably a good, sensible idea, right? Yes. Our only question is, what do you do if it gets stuck? There’s a solid three minutes of personal interface with a janitor you’re never gonna get back.
We may have mentioned it before, but a little while ago, MTV had this show called Is She Really Going Out With Him? where nice girls were profiled and they had to decide at the end of the episode if they wanted to stay with their (proven) douchebag boyfriends. Well, we’ve seen that show (more than once) and it seemed like every herb on the show was a “party promoter.” It’s this kind of stuff that makes us remember those horrible times we watched that show.
BLLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAAAAARGGGGHHHH! TAP TAP. Is this thing on! Can you hear me, O asses filled with Brylcreem and the forever-readers of The People Paper! I fear that I write you today in 
Here are some of the highlights of Nutter’s address, released today, which covered plans for future renovation and a summary of recent changes:
But then, you were never supposed to. Last Thursday, in a by-invitation-only event at the Kelly Writers House, the Velvets leader sat down with Rolling Stone‘s Anthony DeCurtis to talk poetry and rock and the art of cultivating cool, a la Andy Warhol, in a terminally unimpressed monotone. Except when he breaks character. At the 41:53 mark 
Some of you may have seen this news item before the weekend about 
FRIDAY:
SUNDAY:
