February 5, 2010

This Weekend: Your Blizzard Weekend As Played By Cover Bands Around The Globe

Because really. We’ll be back next week to tell you all the shit that got rescheduled due to Frosty The Paralyzer.

FRIDAY:

SATURDAY:

SUNDAY:

Want more? Check out our nightlife listings.

Slideshow: Wing Bowl XVIII, Wachovia Center, 2/5/10


Oh, the humanity. After the jump, Olivia Vaughn’s photos of this morning’s debauchery. (more…)

Oh, And Here’s Video Of Snooki Giving The City Of Philadelphia The Finger

And through the microphone of Jnnnphrhrhrhrrr Frdkdkddk no less. What did we tell you about this woman? She’s a goddamned savage. We’re awaiting more pics and wrap up from this morning’s Wing Bowl via our now lost and presumed drunk coverage team, but in the meantime you can relive it all on our Twitter account.



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Readers Cameraphone: Even The Parking Kiosks Here Are Sarcastic Dicks

Says our reader: “Parking kiosk or oracle? You decide!”

Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

LIVE: Philebrity At The Wing Bowl

Follow @philebrity or #philebrityatwingbowl as Collin Flatt tweets live from Wing Bowl!



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February 4, 2010

This Evening: Do The Right Thing

>>> Please join us for a great bill and even better cause tonight at Philly Rocks For Haiti at The Trocadero. West Philadelphia Orchestra, Black Landlord, Get the Led Out, Blood Feathers and Free Energy will all be performing, and afterwards, there’s a party in the Balcony where Jersey Dan is spinning. Proceeds go directly to the Haitian Professionals of Philadelphia to ship supplies to Haiti.
>>> Elsewhere: Freak folkers James Blackshaw and Gary Higgins play the First Unitarian Church; Telepathe and Prowler play Kung Fu Necktie; and, though we have little to go on, we bet Jet Lag: World Music with Geoff Weiser at L’Etage sounds like a perfect pre-blizzard hang.

Accuweather Already Working Overtime To Find Proper Blizzard Of 2010 Hyperbole

PARALYZING!

Previously: Readers Fwd: Even The Pros Agree That This Weekend Could Well Be BLIZZARD OMG!

Dept. Of Other People’s Hitgrabs: Philly Snubbed In HuffPo Bike Lane Contest

Sure, Philly was ignored in The Huffington Post’s Bike-Lanes-Around-The-World roundup and poll — even after all the valuable discourse you Philebrity commenters engaged in! — but you could still suggest your Philly faves in their suggestion box thingy. In other bike-related news, David Byrne is in town tonight to talk about his book The Bicycle Diaries (which we loved, by the way) at a sold-out event at The Academy of Natural Sciences. But, the Academy is quick to remind you, DO NOT LOOK THE DAVID BYRNE STRAIGHT IN THE EYE OR ENGAGE HIM IN ANY WAY. In a stern email warning to attendees of tonight’s event, the Academy stressed that “there will be no in-person book signing and Mr. Bryne will not be available for in-person contact with the audience.” We’re not sure, but we bet this is because he’s tense and nervous and he can’t relax.

Rumblings: The CooperBowl, NJ’s Finest Prize In Sport


As a medical doctor, I would like to urge each and every one of you to
STAY AWAY FROM NEW JERSEY THIS SUNDAY.

>>> Can we just say this? THANK GOD PHILLY IS NOT IN THE SUPERBOWL. For so, so, so many reasons. Among them: You know we’d choke, and now that we live in the time FOOTBALL ART WAGERS (what???), you know the PMA would wind up wearing a barrel back home from the game, wondering why in the hell it bet The Gross Clinic on the Saints. (That’s a football team that plays football, right?) [ArtDaily]
>>> More superbowl news youse can use: The Doctor and NJ State PoPo above would like you to know that this Sunday in the Durty Jerz, you’ve got two choices: DUI or maiming. What’s it gonna be? [KYW]
>>> And finally, a quick programming note: Philebrity will indeed have LIVE WINGBOWL COVERAGE TOMORROW MORNING AT THE CRACK OF DAWN. Collin Flatt will be on the scene posting live, and photographer Olivia Vaughn will be down there, growing increasingly horrified, all while Sweeney sleeps the sleep of a man who knows he’s just totally passed off this season in hell on somebody else.

Press Release Of The Day: How To Simultaneously Open Up A Hot New Rock Club And Seem Completely, Strangely Out Of Touch

You know, we like to give new venues the benefit of the doubt, but there is so much that is so wrong in the first two grafs of this press release announcing the opening of the Rox Box in Roxborough that, well, it’s just delightful:

Philadelphia:   Philly indie bands are sick and tired of the pathetic performance scene in the city. It’s fucked up to lug your gear into a club where the sound sucks, the crowd is thin and the management treats you like shit.
 
The one place that actually gave DIY bands some respect, Doc Watsons, has been sold and it’s unclear how the venue will continue to be relevant to musicians.  And WMMR’s Philly Local Shots is moving from Docs to Kildare’s in King of Prussia – how un-local and so not Philly.

Now, a few things about this:
1. Bands who play venues like this are like hot girls who insist on dating abusive boyfriends: The minute you stop thinking you deserve to be treated like this, you’ll start realizing that there are plenty of other places to play where people are kind, OR you can just start booking DIY shows on your own. Also, not for nothing, there is a bit of “I BLAME THE SCENE FOR MY SUCKY BAND” in the tone here.
2. Doc Watsons was a paragon of groovy indie vibes? WHO KNEW!
3. Complaining about anything WMMR does obscures the obvious question: You actually give a shit about anything WMMR does?

Noontime Nuggetz: Dave P, DJ Statik And The Philadelphia Orchestra Jam For PIFA

On Tuesday morning, at the press conference to announce the Philadelphia International Festival of the Arts (PIFA), April 7 – May 1, 2011, Dave P, DJ Statik and members of the Philadelphia Orchestra all got together to jam on a little Stravinsky, yo. This is how that went.

J Street To Bring A Little Of That Ol’ Israel/Palestine Magic We’ve Been Missing So Much To Philly

Like those badass hipster Jews in Munich — actutally, nothing like those guys — J Street, the controversial “pro-Israel/pro-peace” advocacy group, is setting up shop in Philly. Tonight on the Penn campus, J Street Executive Director Jeremy Ben-Ami will speak, and officially kickoff the Philly outpost for J Street’s new local grassroots campaign. Now, we know some of you are thinking that the whole “pro-Israel/pro-peace” thing is a contradiction in terms, but J Street has, at least thus far, gone to great lengths to emphasize “diplomatic solutions over military ones” — so much so that the Jeruselem Post sees them as, according to Wikipedia, “anything but pro Israel.”

The World Is A Vampire: Harrisburg To Declare Bankruptcy?

Well, given what we all went through last summer, it’s not hard to have at least a little schadenfreude about this — or at least appreciate the irony of the PA state capital in the same desperate waters we all narrowly avoided. In any case, Harrisburg is indeed considering filing for Chapter 9 bankruptcy protection and tax increases. If H-burg does indeed file, it will join the Philadelphia Inquirer, Lenny Dykstra and The Racist Pool in the growing pantheon of PA Institutions That Old White Men Have Totally Fucked Up.

Poll: Wrap It Up, You Will Or Will Not Take It

SCRUB — that is, the Society Created To Reduce Urban Blight — are an organization that has its heart in the right place. Really, it does. But often, SCRUB’s general anti-advertising stance rubs up against things that are just a given in modern life. And so it goes with Councilman Frank DiCicco’s new bill, which would clear the way for building wraps and huge digitized billboards to be placed all around the city. (I can’t believe we got dibs on the PSFS building! Sweet!) On one hand, these new wraps and billboards are only new in terms of the technology used to produce them; look at old photographs of the city and you’ll see building-size painted-on advertisements that once loomed all over town. On the other hand, we really, really dread seeing the Gallery ensconced, Christo-like, in an ad for the new Tyler Perry movie. So we’re of two minds. How about you?

We Like This Guy.

We spotted this pink chalk rendering of this Tintin-esque character in Fishtown last night by Palmer Cemetary. Anybody seen any others like it? Send us a snap to tips[at]philebrity[dot]com and we’ll give you tickets to see The Wolfman.

Someone Famous (Might Could Have) Went Somewhere Once: Snooki At Geno’s?


A friend of mine was told by a friend of hers, who was told by an allegedly reputable source (“yo this kid’s never wrong about anything!!”) that Snooki was supposed to make an appearance at Geno’s [Wednesday] from 6-8. I don’t know if Philebrity follows all things Jersey Shore in a semi-ironic kind of way (which, you really should if you don’t), but could you confirm/deny this? Were Snooki and I only 4 blocks apart for a two hour period of time and I didn’t even know it?!

Wow. First of all, even by the low, low standards of “Someone Famous Went Somewhere Once,” this is a truly piece-of-shit tip. In terms of the vaguely annoying tone and various indexes of general cluelessness evidenced here, this ranks only slightly higher than the IMs we get (almost every day) where people treat us like Moviefone and want us to tell them where to eat dinner or what time things start. (To be fair, we are always patient and expedient with these IMs and love to hear from our readers, but come on.) Secondly, as the source on the Internet for posts about Dumb Shit That Has Happened At Geno’s, we’ve got nothing on this, and if Snooki was indeed slobberin’ all over a Wiz Wit yesterday, it is not yet reflected on the Geno’s Wall Of Weirdfame. (But that’s not to say it didn’t happen: Snooki is slated to appear at the Wing Bowl tomorrow morning, after all.) Thirdly, if this did happen, it would have been remarkable: Joey Vento and Snooki are two of the most vile Italian-Americans alive, and speaking as one of the tribe, seeing this summit in the flesh would have been, well, blam.gif comes close as an adjective, but still doesn’t really do it all justice. And finally, what the fuck is wrong with you? Get out of my office.

Do you know of Someone Famous Who Went Somewhere Once in Philadelphia? We don’t care, but we’ll humor you. Send your tips and pics to tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

February 3, 2010

Apropos Of Jay Reatard’s Death, Um, Yes: Cocaine Is Bad

So, news broke earlier today that the results of Jay Reatard’s autopsy came in, and rather than an evil garage rock scene plot to murder their would-be king, what really killed Jay was cocaine toxicity. To be honest, other than “being really really fucked up,” we didn’t know what cocaine toxicity really was. Then we pulled up this long and scary medical paper, and it scared the living hell out of us. So, while we here at Philebrity would never get on a high horse (pardon the phrase) and deign to criticize the lifestyle choices of anyone (unless it involves any one of the 583 that we are total snobs about and drugs is not one of them), we do feel compelled to say this: Enough with the cocaine already, people. We know. We know. But enough. Really. It’s scary.

Readers Fwd: Even The Pros Agree That This Weekend Could Well Be BLIZZARD OMG!

From a reader who’s on Henry Margusity’s email list:

Here’s my snow map for the storm. Keep in mind, this storm will turn into a blizzard for Philly, Atlantic city, Balitmore and Washington up to Harrisburg, Pa Saturday morning. What that means, as the storm hits the coast and starts to redevelop, it will pull cold air into the storm and the wind will pick up creating blizzard conditions. It could look really impressive outside Saturday in some of the big cities. New York City will also do well with the storm in regards to snow amounts.

Also, remember, my drawing is not the best…

Meanwhile, even Accuweather proper is saying that, yeah, this will probably be some heavy shit.

Captain Freeshit: Go See An Advance Screening Of The Wolfman Next Tuesday Night!

While we can safely assume that no wolfman-type movie will ever best the decade-defining performance of Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf, it looks like this new version of The Wolfman starring Anthony Hopkins and Benecio Del Toro could come close. And just think of all the money they saved on wolfman makeup by casting Benecio! Oh, we kid, but real talk: This is the kind of popcorn fun we’ve been aching for as winter drags on like some kind of sexless marriage. Wanna check it out with us next week, on Tuesday night down at the Riverview? We promise you won’t get shot. To enter to win, email ihopeiwin[at]philebrity[dot]com with “STAY AWAY FROM HIM, HE’LL RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT, JIM!” in the subject header. You’ll automatically be subscribed to the new Philebrity Reader weekly newsletter and win chances for other exclusive free stuff. We’ve got a bunch of passes for this, so enter away! We’ll pull winners at the end of the week, and then bug you about drinking at Philebrity Salon after the movie. Ah-ooooohhhhh!

Noontime Nuggetz: OK, The Impromptu Temple U. Snowboarding Park Is Pretty Much The Most Awesome Thing Ever

As our tipster put it, “In what other major city can you find an abandoned lot to build a world class snowboard park, lite a fire, set off fireworks, obtain a redbull can (legally?), jib a keg – and not hear one single police siren? Hmmm? I rest my case!” [Via YoBeat]