Stock up on popcorn, make sure you have “do shot” material, and don’t forget to set your DVRs, for this shall be a blessed occasion: ABC’s 20/20 is currently running teasers on-air to promote their segment on That Time John Bolaris Got Roofied Twice In Miami, set to broadcast this Friday. It will most certainly [...]

By now, the story is legendary: John Bolaris goes down to Miami, gets roped into a “Bar Girls” scam, gets roofied TWICE, has his Amex rung up to the tune of $43K but then, in true Bolaris fashion, testifies and helps bring the ring down, and lives to tell the tale! It’s a heroic epic [...]

And he left us all of these LOLBOLARIS-es! Look at them! Can you even believe them? Two of them will be good enough for Willie Nelson tickets; the rest will be forgotten. You probably shouldn’t send us any more of them because we feel like the story’s dead already, but you know, we say this [...]

GOOD ENOUGH FOR WILLIE NELSON TICKETS? WELL DOOD, WE JUST DON’T KNOW! SEND YOUR LOLBOLARISES TO TIPS[AT]PHILEBRITY[DOT]COM! NO, WE’RE NOT KIDDING! DO SHOT! DO SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!! Previously: John Bolaris Getting Roofied (Twice!) By Two Latvian Girls Who Ran Up $43K On His Amex Can Only Mean One Thing!

[From the mind of Johnny Goodtimes] LOLLY BOLLY, WE LIKE TO PARTY, WE DON’T CAUSE TRUBBLE, WE DON’T BOTHER NOBODY! YO HOSS, YOU WANT THEM WILLIE NELSON TICKETS? SEND YOUR LOLBOLARISES TO TIPS[AT]PHILEBRITY[DOT]COM! NO, WE’RE NOT KIDDING! DO SHOT! DO SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!! Previously: John Bolaris Getting Roofied (Twice!) By Two Latvian Girls Who Ran Up $43K [...]

IS IT WORTH WILLIE NELSON TICKETS? WE JUST DON’T KNOW YET, DUDE! SEND YOUR LOLBOLARISES TO TIPS[AT]PHILEBRITY[DOT]COM! NO, WE’RE NOT KIDDING! DO SHOT! DO SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!! Previously: John Bolaris Getting Roofied (Twice!) By Two Latvian Girls Who Ran Up $43K On His Amex Can Only Mean One Thing!

THE INVENTION OF THE LOLBOLARIS! READ THIS, THEN GET ON YOUR PHOTOSHOPS, PEOPLE! SEND YOUR LOLBOLARISES TO TIPS[AT]PHILEBRITY[DOT]COM! BEST ONE BY END OF DAY TMRW GETS WILLIE NELSON TICKETS! NO, WE’RE NOT KIDDING! DO SHOT! DO SHOT!!!!!!!!!!!! Previously: Someone Famous Went Somewhere Once: John Bolaris, Last Night, Drinking Alone, At Kung Fu Necktie