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Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Porn Video Making The Rounds Of The Corbett Administration

Friday, September 26th, 2014

Finally we get a peephole into the randy, sweaty circle jerk that everyone who was anyone in Harrisburg between 2008 and 2012 (except, supposedly, for Corbett) was allowed in on, and lo and behold, it looks pretty weird. To quote at greater length than we prefer: The videos have titles such as “Cigar,” “Chin […]

Cigarette Tax Heading To Corbett’s Desk — If You Don’t Like It, You Can Always Go Back To Pot

Wednesday, September 24th, 2014

The $2 per-pack cigarette tax for #PHLed funding has passed the State Senate, and now it’s on it’s way to Corbett’s desk, and Corbett already promised a long time ago that he’d sign it if it ever did, probably not knowing it might come back to bite him in the ass like this. We know, […]

This Just In: Corbett & Wolf Will Debate On Live TV, Er, At 8AM On A Wednesday Morning

Monday, September 22nd, 2014

Um, okay: Pennsylvania Gubernatorial Candidates, Republican Governor Tom Corbett and Democratic nominee Tom Wolf, will square off in the only debate between Corbett and Wolf scheduled to originate from Philadelphia, Wednesday, October 1, 8-9 a.m. at the CBS Broadcast Center. KYW Newsradio’s “Breakfast with the Candidates” will be broadcast live on KYW Newsradio 1060 and […]

PSA: Please Tell Tom Corbett To Not Defund Planned Parenthood Simply Because Women Are, Like, Kyptonite To His Brain

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

We’re asking you: Pretty please?

Poll Finds Corbett Is Probably Going To Lose, Earth Is Probably Going To Continue To Orbit Sun

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

A poll conducted by The Daily News and Franklin & Marshall College, to be released today, has found that Democrat Tom Wolf stands far ahead of incumbent Tom Corbett in the race for governor of Pennsylvania. The data suggests that voters are not coming out in support of Corbett because of his efforts in the […]

This Moment In Petitions: Tell Tom Corbett To Stop Being A Cheesy Cheeser Who’s Using Taxpayer Money On His Own (Doomed) Campaign

Monday, August 25th, 2014

In the immortal words of Ed Lover: C’mon, son.

Corbett, Pennsylvania Politicians Want To Whack Amish Mafia

Thursday, August 14th, 2014

Governor Corbett and seventeen other state and local Pennsylvania politicians just signed a statement demanding that The Discovery Channel cease production of Amish Mafia, the hit reality show that chronicles the lives of a group of criminals operating in Lancaster County. The statement alleges that the show offers an unrealistic and offensive presentation of the […]

Education Advisor To Corbett Officially Resigns After Already Resigning Fifteen Months Ago

Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

abc27 WHTM Ron Tomalis, former Pennsylvania Education Secretary and current education advisor to Governor Tom Corbett, has resigned from his post, effective in two weeks. In the fifteen months for which he worked as education advisor to Governor Corbett, Tomalis’ achievements included working primarily from home, occupying an office that was outfitted with a nameplate […]

Corbett Advance To Philly Schools Apparently Guarantees Nothing

Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

As we suspected along with others last week, Governor Corbett‘s advance of $265 million to Philadelphia schools might not prevent the layoffs or the delay in an opening date it was supposed to prevent in the first place. Superintendent Hite continues to assure us that without new money, layoffs could begin this week. Up to […]

Corbett Advances Millions To Philly Schools So Debate Over Cigarette Tax Can Drag On Indefinitely

Wednesday, August 6th, 2014

Governor Tom Corbett announced to the press today at his Center City office (used mainly for hiding) that he will be advancing $265 million in education funding that will allow Philadelphia schools to open on time this September. The decision was announced in response to the mounting debate surrounding the $2 cigarette tax initially proposed […]

Corbett Finally Signs Budget, Flips Off Everybody

Thursday, July 10th, 2014

Corbett signs budget, vetoes millions in spending Flipping off Philadelphia blatantly #phled — dave lewandowski (@LearnFromLEW) July 10, 2014 Uggggghhhh, this guy! This fuckin’ GUY!

Wall Street Journal To Tom Corbett: We Can’t Even With You, Just Get Out, UGH

Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

Ahahahahahahahaha: The one GOP governor in the country almost certain to lose this November is Pennsylvania’s Tom Corbett, who rode to office in 2010 on a tea party wave while Republicans secured control of both legislative chambers. What has the governor since done to reverse his political fortunes? Not much of anything, which may be […]

Hyperspace Clusterfuck: Tom Corbett Vs. PA Budget Vs. Pensions Vs. Schools Vs…. Frackers? Could It All Be Down To Fracking?

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

It’s a confusing and awful time in Harrisburg right now, and that confusing and awful time is now threatening to spill over the rest of the state. The mess (or part of it) looks something like this: Governor Tom Corbett is holding the state budget hostage, refusing to sign it, unless the state house and […]

Hundreds (Maybe) Gathering To Chant Down Corbett/Christie Babylon At Union League Today

Monday, June 9th, 2014

As we mentioned last week, the shitbird dream team duo of Chris Christie and Tom Corbett are hitting the road together this week — ostensibly in the name of fundraising (they both have sputtering, flustered mouths to feed) but also, we presume, as gift to the world of political commentary. This afternoon, Laurel & Hardy […]

Corbett And Christie To Hit Fundraising Trail Together, Both Think They Look Better By Comparison

Thursday, June 5th, 2014

In an effort for both of them to be like “Hey, at least I’m not this guy, right?” Tom Corbett and Chris Christie will appear at fundraisers in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia together in the coming days. There is no other information available, except that if there is any good in this world Tom Corbett will […]

Thank You, Eastern State, For Erecting A 16 Foot High, 3,500 Pound “F U” To Tom Corbett

Thursday, June 5th, 2014

Because frankly, we wouldn’t have known where to pick up that much steel and concrete. The thing you’re looking at is called The Big Graph, currently on view at Eastern State Penitentiary. It cost about $70,000 to build — paid for with your “Terror Behind the Walls” scare-dollars, by the way, which is kind of, […]

Tom Corbett Realizes He Still Hasn’t Pissed Everyone Off, Works To Remedy That

Tuesday, May 27th, 2014

Tom Corbett is “trying” to get re-elected. Supposedly. What he’s definitely trying to do though, is make sure if he doesn’t get re-elected, it’s nobody’s fault but his own, as he moves to piss off every last Pennsylvanian. Over the long holiday weekend, still-Governor Corbett “issued an executive order today overturning a 2010 state moratorium […]

Dept. Of Oh Crap He’s Right: Inky Editorial Just Detailed How Corbett Will Win

Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

Oh God. Oh crap. Oh man. Ugh.

Corbett Basically Like “Whatever Guys, I Don’t Care Anymore,” Will Not Appeal Gay-Marriage Ruling

Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

No appeal! Tom Corbett still doesn't think gay people should get married, but he knows he's on the losing side of the argument. #LoveIsLove — PA Democrats (@PADems) May 21, 2014 Tom Corbett has decided that while he still doesn’t think two dudes (or ladies) marrying is cool at all, he knows it’s a fight […]

Corbett And Gay Marriage Supporters Agree: Judge Should Rule Against The Other Guy Without Trial

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

Yesterday, both Tom Corbett and the group of eleven people challenging the state’s gay marriage ban asked U.S. Middle District Judge John Jones to “hand down a summary judgment in lieu of a trial.” According to Penn Live, Corbett’s motion argues that “the 1996 Pennsylvania Marriage Law passes constitutional muster under the applicable rational basis […]