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Corbett Finally Signs Budget, Flips Off Everybody

Thursday, July 10th, 2014

Corbett signs budget, vetoes millions in spending http://t.co/nREi6Sj5SC pic.twitter.com/xOWbVU7G2P Flipping off Philadelphia blatantly #phled — dave lewandowski (@LearnFromLEW) July 10, 2014 Uggggghhhh, this guy! This fuckin’ GUY!

Wall Street Journal To Tom Corbett: We Can’t Even With You, Just Get Out, UGH

Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

Ahahahahahahahaha: The one GOP governor in the country almost certain to lose this November is Pennsylvania’s Tom Corbett, who rode to office in 2010 on a tea party wave while Republicans secured control of both legislative chambers. What has the governor since done to reverse his political fortunes? Not much of anything, which may be […]

Hyperspace Clusterfuck: Tom Corbett Vs. PA Budget Vs. Pensions Vs. Schools Vs…. Frackers? Could It All Be Down To Fracking?

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

It’s a confusing and awful time in Harrisburg right now, and that confusing and awful time is now threatening to spill over the rest of the state. The mess (or part of it) looks something like this: Governor Tom Corbett is holding the state budget hostage, refusing to sign it, unless the state house and […]

Hundreds (Maybe) Gathering To Chant Down Corbett/Christie Babylon At Union League Today

Monday, June 9th, 2014

As we mentioned last week, the shitbird dream team duo of Chris Christie and Tom Corbett are hitting the road together this week — ostensibly in the name of fundraising (they both have sputtering, flustered mouths to feed) but also, we presume, as gift to the world of political commentary. This afternoon, Laurel & Hardy […]

Corbett And Christie To Hit Fundraising Trail Together, Both Think They Look Better By Comparison

Thursday, June 5th, 2014

In an effort for both of them to be like “Hey, at least I’m not this guy, right?” Tom Corbett and Chris Christie will appear at fundraisers in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia together in the coming days. There is no other information available, except that if there is any good in this world Tom Corbett will […]

Thank You, Eastern State, For Erecting A 16 Foot High, 3,500 Pound “F U” To Tom Corbett

Thursday, June 5th, 2014

Because frankly, we wouldn’t have known where to pick up that much steel and concrete. The thing you’re looking at is called The Big Graph, currently on view at Eastern State Penitentiary. It cost about $70,000 to build — paid for with your “Terror Behind the Walls” scare-dollars, by the way, which is kind of, […]

Tom Corbett Realizes He Still Hasn’t Pissed Everyone Off, Works To Remedy That

Tuesday, May 27th, 2014

Tom Corbett is “trying” to get re-elected. Supposedly. What he’s definitely trying to do though, is make sure if he doesn’t get re-elected, it’s nobody’s fault but his own, as he moves to piss off every last Pennsylvanian. Over the long holiday weekend, still-Governor Corbett “issued an executive order today overturning a 2010 state moratorium […]

Dept. Of Oh Crap He’s Right: Inky Editorial Just Detailed How Corbett Will Win

Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

Oh God. Oh crap. Oh man. Ugh.

Corbett Basically Like “Whatever Guys, I Don’t Care Anymore,” Will Not Appeal Gay-Marriage Ruling

Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

No appeal! Tom Corbett still doesn't think gay people should get married, but he knows he's on the losing side of the argument. #LoveIsLove — PA Democrats (@PADems) May 21, 2014 Tom Corbett has decided that while he still doesn’t think two dudes (or ladies) marrying is cool at all, he knows it’s a fight […]

Corbett And Gay Marriage Supporters Agree: Judge Should Rule Against The Other Guy Without Trial

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

Yesterday, both Tom Corbett and the group of eleven people challenging the state’s gay marriage ban asked U.S. Middle District Judge John Jones to “hand down a summary judgment in lieu of a trial.” According to Penn Live, Corbett’s motion argues that “the 1996 Pennsylvania Marriage Law passes constitutional muster under the applicable rational basis […]

Corbett, Nutter, And Chaput Asking Local Businesses For Money For The Papal Visit Is Just Out-And-Out Offensive, Right?

Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

It sure feels that way. I mean, sure, tourism and all that, but come on. The city is a mess. The state is a mess. Sweet fancy Moses, the church is a mess. And for all of this energy and money that has already been expended on getting this man in a funny hat who […]

Chaput And Nutter Look At Corbett, Corbett Says “What? I Didn’t Do Anything” As Pope Meeting Is Cancelled

Wednesday, March 26th, 2014

One of the items I'll give Pope Francis on Wed morning! The Jesuit HS in Phila, St Joe's Prep Football jersey! pic.twitter.com/z8ax1xPqQh — Michael A. Nutter (@Michael_Nutter) March 25, 2014 BUT WILL THE POPE GET HIS SJP FOOTBALL JERSEY? As it turns out, hours upon hours on an airplane, fancy football jerseys, and glorified begging […]

Chaput, Nutter, And Corbett Will Try To Convince Cool Pope To Come To Philly

Monday, March 10th, 2014

The World Meeting of Families is set for Philadelphia in 2015, and though the whole thing was setup by no-longer Pope Benedict, Popes are infallible and all so it’s still happening. But will the current, hat-wearing, cool-guy Pope Francis come to the party? Archbishop Charles Chaput, Gov. Tom Corbett, and Mayor Michael Nutter will try […]

New Wind-Up Tom Corbett Talking Doll Apparently Test-Marketing In Parking Lots All Around PA

Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Oh wait, that’s not what this is? Wait, what? This is his ad? For re-election? Hahaha, really? Naw! Really? Oh.

Rumblings: Tom Corbett Throws Some Coins At The Schools, Says “We Good?”

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

Governor's 2014-15 #PABudget spends $423 million (26%) more on prisons than on higher education: pic.twitter.com/mTPMQc5Me1 — PA Budget and Policy (@PBPC) February 5, 2014 >>> After announcing PA’s budget, Tommy Corbett wiped his hands against eachother and said, “I’m done here, right?” as he allocated an additional $29 million for Philadelphia schools. The money comes […]

And Now, A Dramatic Imagining Of Tom Corbett Politely Asking A PA Court To Reverse Their Decision On His Voter ID Law

Tuesday, January 28th, 2014

(A courtroom in Harrisburg, early Monday morning, in the dead of winter. Outside, a snowy stillness. Inside, the smell of coffee brewing, but also, the smell of microwave popcorn, farts, and faintest trace of whiskey. A JUDGE sits on a high bench, while CORBETT and a CHORUS OF LAWYERS mill about the courtroom floor, arranging […]

Unpopular Corbett Trying To Raise Profile With New “Rock Star Sheriff” Program

Thursday, January 23rd, 2014

“We’re one, but we’re not the same; we’ve got to carry each other,” Montco’s new sheriff was heard to say at a press conference. He later added: “Rock n’ roll stops the traffic.”

Tom Corbett Spent The Morning On Twitter Telling Everyone To Get Off Of His Lawn

Friday, January 17th, 2014

Today wasn't supposed to be about politics. Today was supposed to be about students…about honoring the hard work of students and teachers. — Governor Tom Corbett (@GovernorCorbett) January 17, 2014 Out of respect to the students, I decided not to engage in theatrics designed by adults in the system and instead presented the… — Governor […]

We Can’t Imagine Tom Corbett Wouldn’t Want To Walk Right Into This

Friday, January 17th, 2014

Welcome Tommy, we’ve been waiting. (Photos by Gwen Snyder) This is the scene at Central High right about now, where Tom Corbett was totally going to be but is now not going to be. We’re not entirely sure why. We mean, they look very welcoming. In fact, some police even showed up to show their […]

Profiles In Cowardice: Er, Ah, Looks Like Corbett Won’t Be Making That School Visit After All

Friday, January 17th, 2014

Sensing, perhaps and quite rightly, that a giant shame-bomb awaited him at Central High, Governor Tom Corbett in the last hour has moved his appearance from there to the tony confines of the Bellevue. In doing so, he may have not just avoided a clash with protestors but with local media altogether, as basically an […]