Search Results

PSA: Please Tell Tom Corbett To Not Defund Planned Parenthood Simply Because Women Are, Like, Kyptonite To His Brain

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

We’re asking you: Pretty please?

Poll Finds Corbett Is Probably Going To Lose, Earth Is Probably Going To Continue To Orbit Sun

Thursday, August 28th, 2014

A poll conducted by The Daily News and Franklin & Marshall College, to be released today, has found that Democrat Tom Wolf stands far ahead of incumbent Tom Corbett in the race for governor of Pennsylvania. The data suggests that voters are not coming out in support of Corbett because of his efforts in the […]

This Moment In Petitions: Tell Tom Corbett To Stop Being A Cheesy Cheeser Who’s Using Taxpayer Money On His Own (Doomed) Campaign

Monday, August 25th, 2014

In the immortal words of Ed Lover: C’mon, son.

Corbett, Pennsylvania Politicians Want To Whack Amish Mafia

Thursday, August 14th, 2014

Governor Corbett and seventeen other state and local Pennsylvania politicians just signed a statement demanding that The Discovery Channel cease production of Amish Mafia, the hit reality show that chronicles the lives of a group of criminals operating in Lancaster County. The statement alleges that the show offers an unrealistic and offensive presentation of the […]

Education Advisor To Corbett Officially Resigns After Already Resigning Fifteen Months Ago

Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

abc27 WHTM Ron Tomalis, former Pennsylvania Education Secretary and current education advisor to Governor Tom Corbett, has resigned from his post, effective in two weeks. In the fifteen months for which he worked as education advisor to Governor Corbett, Tomalis’ achievements included working primarily from home, occupying an office that was outfitted with a nameplate […]

Corbett Advance To Philly Schools Apparently Guarantees Nothing

Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

As we suspected along with others last week, Governor Corbett‘s advance of $265 million to Philadelphia schools might not prevent the layoffs or the delay in an opening date it was supposed to prevent in the first place. Superintendent Hite continues to assure us that without new money, layoffs could begin this week. Up to […]

Corbett Advances Millions To Philly Schools So Debate Over Cigarette Tax Can Drag On Indefinitely

Wednesday, August 6th, 2014

Governor Tom Corbett announced to the press today at his Center City office (used mainly for hiding) that he will be advancing $265 million in education funding that will allow Philadelphia schools to open on time this September. The decision was announced in response to the mounting debate surrounding the $2 cigarette tax initially proposed […]

Corbett Finally Signs Budget, Flips Off Everybody

Thursday, July 10th, 2014

Corbett signs budget, vetoes millions in spending http://t.co/nREi6Sj5SC pic.twitter.com/xOWbVU7G2P Flipping off Philadelphia blatantly #phled — dave lewandowski (@LearnFromLEW) July 10, 2014 Uggggghhhh, this guy! This fuckin’ GUY!

Wall Street Journal To Tom Corbett: We Can’t Even With You, Just Get Out, UGH

Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

Ahahahahahahahaha: The one GOP governor in the country almost certain to lose this November is Pennsylvania’s Tom Corbett, who rode to office in 2010 on a tea party wave while Republicans secured control of both legislative chambers. What has the governor since done to reverse his political fortunes? Not much of anything, which may be […]

Hyperspace Clusterfuck: Tom Corbett Vs. PA Budget Vs. Pensions Vs. Schools Vs…. Frackers? Could It All Be Down To Fracking?

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

It’s a confusing and awful time in Harrisburg right now, and that confusing and awful time is now threatening to spill over the rest of the state. The mess (or part of it) looks something like this: Governor Tom Corbett is holding the state budget hostage, refusing to sign it, unless the state house and […]

Hundreds (Maybe) Gathering To Chant Down Corbett/Christie Babylon At Union League Today

Monday, June 9th, 2014

As we mentioned last week, the shitbird dream team duo of Chris Christie and Tom Corbett are hitting the road together this week — ostensibly in the name of fundraising (they both have sputtering, flustered mouths to feed) but also, we presume, as gift to the world of political commentary. This afternoon, Laurel & Hardy […]

Corbett And Christie To Hit Fundraising Trail Together, Both Think They Look Better By Comparison

Thursday, June 5th, 2014

In an effort for both of them to be like “Hey, at least I’m not this guy, right?” Tom Corbett and Chris Christie will appear at fundraisers in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia together in the coming days. There is no other information available, except that if there is any good in this world Tom Corbett will […]

Thank You, Eastern State, For Erecting A 16 Foot High, 3,500 Pound “F U” To Tom Corbett

Thursday, June 5th, 2014

Because frankly, we wouldn’t have known where to pick up that much steel and concrete. The thing you’re looking at is called The Big Graph, currently on view at Eastern State Penitentiary. It cost about $70,000 to build — paid for with your “Terror Behind the Walls” scare-dollars, by the way, which is kind of, […]

Tom Corbett Realizes He Still Hasn’t Pissed Everyone Off, Works To Remedy That

Tuesday, May 27th, 2014

Tom Corbett is “trying” to get re-elected. Supposedly. What he’s definitely trying to do though, is make sure if he doesn’t get re-elected, it’s nobody’s fault but his own, as he moves to piss off every last Pennsylvanian. Over the long holiday weekend, still-Governor Corbett “issued an executive order today overturning a 2010 state moratorium […]

Dept. Of Oh Crap He’s Right: Inky Editorial Just Detailed How Corbett Will Win

Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

Oh God. Oh crap. Oh man. Ugh.

Corbett Basically Like “Whatever Guys, I Don’t Care Anymore,” Will Not Appeal Gay-Marriage Ruling

Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

No appeal! Tom Corbett still doesn't think gay people should get married, but he knows he's on the losing side of the argument. #LoveIsLove — PA Democrats (@PADems) May 21, 2014 Tom Corbett has decided that while he still doesn’t think two dudes (or ladies) marrying is cool at all, he knows it’s a fight […]

Corbett And Gay Marriage Supporters Agree: Judge Should Rule Against The Other Guy Without Trial

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

Yesterday, both Tom Corbett and the group of eleven people challenging the state’s gay marriage ban asked U.S. Middle District Judge John Jones to “hand down a summary judgment in lieu of a trial.” According to Penn Live, Corbett’s motion argues that “the 1996 Pennsylvania Marriage Law passes constitutional muster under the applicable rational basis […]

Corbett, Nutter, And Chaput Asking Local Businesses For Money For The Papal Visit Is Just Out-And-Out Offensive, Right?

Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

It sure feels that way. I mean, sure, tourism and all that, but come on. The city is a mess. The state is a mess. Sweet fancy Moses, the church is a mess. And for all of this energy and money that has already been expended on getting this man in a funny hat who […]

Chaput And Nutter Look At Corbett, Corbett Says “What? I Didn’t Do Anything” As Pope Meeting Is Cancelled

Wednesday, March 26th, 2014

One of the items I'll give Pope Francis on Wed morning! The Jesuit HS in Phila, St Joe's Prep Football jersey! pic.twitter.com/z8ax1xPqQh — Michael A. Nutter (@Michael_Nutter) March 25, 2014 BUT WILL THE POPE GET HIS SJP FOOTBALL JERSEY? As it turns out, hours upon hours on an airplane, fancy football jerseys, and glorified begging […]

Chaput, Nutter, And Corbett Will Try To Convince Cool Pope To Come To Philly

Monday, March 10th, 2014

The World Meeting of Families is set for Philadelphia in 2015, and though the whole thing was setup by no-longer Pope Benedict, Popes are infallible and all so it’s still happening. But will the current, hat-wearing, cool-guy Pope Francis come to the party? Archbishop Charles Chaput, Gov. Tom Corbett, and Mayor Michael Nutter will try […]