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Corbett And Gay Marriage Supporters Agree: Judge Should Rule Against The Other Guy Without Trial

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

Yesterday, both Tom Corbett and the group of eleven people challenging the state’s gay marriage ban asked U.S. Middle District Judge John Jones to “hand down a summary judgment in lieu of a trial.” According to Penn Live, Corbett’s motion argues that “the 1996 Pennsylvania Marriage Law passes constitutional muster under the applicable rational basis […]

Corbett, Nutter, And Chaput Asking Local Businesses For Money For The Papal Visit Is Just Out-And-Out Offensive, Right?

Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

It sure feels that way. I mean, sure, tourism and all that, but come on. The city is a mess. The state is a mess. Sweet fancy Moses, the church is a mess. And for all of this energy and money that has already been expended on getting this man in a funny hat who […]

Chaput And Nutter Look At Corbett, Corbett Says “What? I Didn’t Do Anything” As Pope Meeting Is Cancelled

Wednesday, March 26th, 2014

One of the items I'll give Pope Francis on Wed morning! The Jesuit HS in Phila, St Joe's Prep Football jersey! pic.twitter.com/z8ax1xPqQh — Michael A. Nutter (@Michael_Nutter) March 25, 2014 BUT WILL THE POPE GET HIS SJP FOOTBALL JERSEY? As it turns out, hours upon hours on an airplane, fancy football jerseys, and glorified begging […]

Chaput, Nutter, And Corbett Will Try To Convince Cool Pope To Come To Philly

Monday, March 10th, 2014

The World Meeting of Families is set for Philadelphia in 2015, and though the whole thing was setup by no-longer Pope Benedict, Popes are infallible and all so it’s still happening. But will the current, hat-wearing, cool-guy Pope Francis come to the party? Archbishop Charles Chaput, Gov. Tom Corbett, and Mayor Michael Nutter will try […]

New Wind-Up Tom Corbett Talking Doll Apparently Test-Marketing In Parking Lots All Around PA

Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Oh wait, that’s not what this is? Wait, what? This is his ad? For re-election? Hahaha, really? Naw! Really? Oh.

Rumblings: Tom Corbett Throws Some Coins At The Schools, Says “We Good?”

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

Governor's 2014-15 #PABudget spends $423 million (26%) more on prisons than on higher education: pic.twitter.com/mTPMQc5Me1 — PA Budget and Policy (@PBPC) February 5, 2014 >>> After announcing PA’s budget, Tommy Corbett wiped his hands against eachother and said, “I’m done here, right?” as he allocated an additional $29 million for Philadelphia schools. The money comes […]

And Now, A Dramatic Imagining Of Tom Corbett Politely Asking A PA Court To Reverse Their Decision On His Voter ID Law

Tuesday, January 28th, 2014

(A courtroom in Harrisburg, early Monday morning, in the dead of winter. Outside, a snowy stillness. Inside, the smell of coffee brewing, but also, the smell of microwave popcorn, farts, and faintest trace of whiskey. A JUDGE sits on a high bench, while CORBETT and a CHORUS OF LAWYERS mill about the courtroom floor, arranging […]

Unpopular Corbett Trying To Raise Profile With New “Rock Star Sheriff” Program

Thursday, January 23rd, 2014

“We’re one, but we’re not the same; we’ve got to carry each other,” Montco’s new sheriff was heard to say at a press conference. He later added: “Rock n’ roll stops the traffic.”

Tom Corbett Spent The Morning On Twitter Telling Everyone To Get Off Of His Lawn

Friday, January 17th, 2014

Today wasn't supposed to be about politics. Today was supposed to be about students…about honoring the hard work of students and teachers. — Governor Tom Corbett (@GovernorCorbett) January 17, 2014 Out of respect to the students, I decided not to engage in theatrics designed by adults in the system and instead presented the… — Governor […]

We Can’t Imagine Tom Corbett Wouldn’t Want To Walk Right Into This

Friday, January 17th, 2014

Welcome Tommy, we’ve been waiting. (Photos by Gwen Snyder) This is the scene at Central High right about now, where Tom Corbett was totally going to be but is now not going to be. We’re not entirely sure why. We mean, they look very welcoming. In fact, some police even showed up to show their […]

Profiles In Cowardice: Er, Ah, Looks Like Corbett Won’t Be Making That School Visit After All

Friday, January 17th, 2014

Sensing, perhaps and quite rightly, that a giant shame-bomb awaited him at Central High, Governor Tom Corbett in the last hour has moved his appearance from there to the tony confines of the Bellevue. In doing so, he may have not just avoided a clash with protestors but with local media altogether, as basically an […]

Corbett To Visit A Philly School For The First Time Ever, Hopefully For A Public Shaming That Will Make Him Quit Politics Forever

Wednesday, January 15th, 2014

Here is a thing that is not hard to believe: Tom Corbett has never once visited a Philadelphia public school. But this Friday, he finally will — Central High, in fact. (Go Lancers!) With school funding cuts now so drastic that they threaten the financial life of the City itself, one would imagine that there […]

Also Happening This Moment In Corbettistan: Tommy’s Fucking Up Our Kids’ College Applications!

Wednesday, January 8th, 2014

Jesus Christ, this guy. Oh, sorry. Hi. How, you ask, could it come to pass that governorship of Tom Corbett could get so adept at screwing shit up that it’s even messing with the hopes and dreams of high schoolers just looking to fill out college applications? Easy: The Corbett cuts to the Philadelphia School […]

Tom Corbett’s Approval Rating Is High Among Canadian Stock Photo Farmers

Wednesday, January 8th, 2014

Screengrab via PoliticaPA You see all of those smiling faces in the image above? One of them is Tom Corbett, standing kinda near some trees (such outdoors). All of those others? They’re some of Pennsylvania’s Farm Families who support Tom Corbett CANADIAN. According to PoliticsPA, the images meant to represent PA’s farming population (and which […]

And Now, Here’s Adam Brodsky’s #PhilebrityAwards Excommunication Anthem, “Talkin’ Tom Corbett Blues”

Thursday, December 19th, 2013

Look, we usually try to keep some mystique around the winners (and in one category, big big loser) at the annual Philebrity Awards, but there was no hiding this. Tom Corbett won that Excommunication vote in a Fleetwood Mac-level landslide. It really wasn’t even close. And to honor your smart decision to metaphorically cast out […]

Update: Brian Sims Not Freaky Friday’d With Tom Corbett, Issues Statement On Backing Of LGBT Anti-Discrimination

Wednesday, December 18th, 2013

Well, it doesn’t look like Sims and Corbett shared some kind of weird fortune cookie thing or whatever the hell happened in that remake, and aren’t actually inhabiting each other’s bodies. That’s a bummer. But what’s not a bummer is Corbett’s backing of PA’s H.B. 300, no matter what the reason is. Here is what […]

Noontime Nuggetz: Up With Fergus, Down With Corbett

Wednesday, December 18th, 2013

Even with the positive news about him today, let us not forget that Tom Corbett is undoubtedly unlikable and bad at his job. And good at his job? And likable? Fergus Carey fits both of those descriptions, and we don’t think we ever really gave him proper praise here for all of his work putting […]

Tom Corbett Realizes LGBT People Can Vote, Decides Now They Shouldn’t Be Discriminated Against

Wednesday, December 18th, 2013

Tom Corbett woke up one day this week, looked in the mirror, and realized “Oh shit, it’s an election year!” Either that, or he and Brian Sims had a little Freaky Friday situation, which should make Sims’ presser, happening any minute now, very interesting. According to the Philly Gay News: [Tom Corbett] announced Wednesday that […]

The People Who Gave You Tom Corbett Spent The Weekend In NYC Arguing Over Who Gets To Be The Top Hat In Monopoly

Monday, December 16th, 2013

We would have made this one of those “Recommended Reading” posts, but really, this just made our skin crawl: At a gathering in the Louis XVI Suite of the Waldorf to honor the Republican leader of the State House, Mike Turzai, a fellow lawmaker in a Santa Claus tie balanced a Scotch and a plate […]

What Kind Of Idiot Would Endorse Corbett? The PA Chamber Of Biz, That’s What Kind

Thursday, December 12th, 2013

Though Tom Corbett is currently crushing it in the Excommunication category in the Philebrity Awards polls, there are still folks who, hard to believe though it may be, actually want to vote Corbett back in. Again! Knowing what we all do. And that would be ChamberPAC, the political arm of the Pennsylvania Chamber of Business […]