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Tales From The Main Line: Realtor Sues CBS3 Over Dead Animals

Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

The last time we checked in with the legal cases of those Mainliners, there was an illegal wine ring to uncover. So what is it this time? Animal carcasses. Ya know, pretty similar. According to the Daily News, CBS3 is being sued by Main Line Realtor Andrea Straub for defamation, emotional distress, and more, “saying […]

Readers Screengrab: Remedial Philly Lessons For CBS3, Please

Monday, January 7th, 2013

Philadelphia geography lessons: CBS Philly needs them. The first item refers to an incident at 61st & Market, not exactly Southwest Philly. The error in the second item is fairly obvious. Oy, there’s nothing like The Worst News to give you those 14th Street Blues.

CBS3, The Worst News, To Broadcast NYE Fireworks Because There’s Nothing Quite As Disappointing As Fireworks On TV

Friday, December 28th, 2012

Planning on staying home alone on New Year’s Eve with nothing but broadcast television to keep you company? Two things: Jesus, man. And, a programming note: Celebrate 2013 — a live broadcast of Penn’s Landing’s New Year’s Eve fireworks spectacular — will air Monday, December 31st, 11:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. on CBS3, aka the […]

If You Would Like Your Head To Explode, Do Please Watch This CBS3 Report On The Instagram Mess

Wednesday, December 19th, 2012

Now, a few things about this: Though it’s very true that Action News (RIP) has long had the market cornered on fear-mongering, anti-news, sheer stupidity, we have still contended for years that CBS3 is the very worst local television news available in the Philly market. Why CBS3 and not Action News? Because with Action News, […]

Proving It Is The Absolute WORST News In The City, CBS3 Goes Ahead And Runs…

Monday, January 9th, 2012

“South Philadelphia Woman Finds Image of Jesus On Window Blinds.” Annnnd scene. Jesus Christ, indeed.

Noontime Nuggetz: Patrick Rodgers’ CBS3 Moment

Monday, February 21st, 2011

In the wake of an Inquirer story we posted about last week, local goth promoter Patrick Rodgers was the subject of this piece on CBS3 news — also known around here as “The Worst News” — about how he flipped the script on Wells Fargo. We would have loved to have been a fly on […]

Dept. Of Hey, You Really Went For It: CBS3 And The Bloody Snow Plow

Friday, January 28th, 2011

A reader sends along this note and the following screen grab: Snow plow death. 4 o’clock news. Obviously I’m having a snow day. Thank you for the bloody killer snow plow graphic. I had to rewind and take a pic. I’m not the arbiter of good taste but like, dude, a lady friggin died. We […]

CBS3, You Make The Hipster Grifter Story Seem Even More Stupid Than It Already Is

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

If it bleeds gives you a handjob with its mouth, it leads. Apparently, CBS3, easily the worst local TV news in the city, led with the Hipster Grifter last night, so it seems like we have at least one thing in common with them. (And don’t think we’re not doing some soul-searching today over that […]

Fun With Typos: CBS3 Copy Editor Once Again Tricked By Proximity Of “G” To “B” On Keyboard

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

Previously: Philebrity To CBS3 Copy Editor: Groan

Philebrity To CBS3 Copy Editor: Groan

Thursday, October 11th, 2007

Early reports indicate that so far, they’ve nabbed Joan of Arc, Amelia Earhart, Ophelia and in a very rare “get,” Eve, from the bible. Authorities are confident that this is just the beginning in a series of heroine busts. CBS3: You Don’t Even Understand What It Is You’re Doing Wrong, Do You? Previously: CBS3: Hates […]

Alycia Lane Naughty Email Flap Causes Hottest CBS3 Intrigue Since Club Kama Sutra Bust

Tuesday, May 1st, 2007

As hot as she is, Lane seems like a high-maintenance pain in the ass. During sweeps week a couple years ago, she did a weeklong counseling session with Doctor Phil over her busted marriage, which I recall lasted a little over a year. The last time I saw such a pathetic, simultaneous cry for help, […]

Noontime Nuggetz: ULTIMATE CBS3 BLOOPERS!

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006

With a side of Larry “Golden Showers” Mendte on the side, yo.

Breaking: CBS3 Discovers Sparks

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

Would you trust this woman? Neither would we, pal, neither would we. But to tens of thousands fearmongering moms in the Del-Val, Stephanie Stahl is the go-to gal for news about nagging prostates, diabetic shock inflicted by Fun Dip, and other modern miracles. So imagine our glee when we caught wind of this whole “SPARKS […]

You Know What? Maybe We Just Stay Away From Planes For A Bit.

Friday, March 14th, 2014

NOW: @USAirways flight 1702 – Airbus A320 – from #PHL to Fort Lauderdale disabled on take-off, no reported injuries pic.twitter.com/o2QRbQGYxR — John Bell (@NewsBell) March 13, 2014 While the world still searches for and speculates about what happened to Malaysia Airlines flight 370, we can imagine getting on a plane could be a little more […]

Rumblings: Dirty Old Town

Monday, January 20th, 2014

>>> Though its SmartCard remains a work in progress, SEPTA is being very proactive in remedying a question you’ve probably been asking yourself for years: “Why isn’t everything on this whole damned train spooge/“soda”/whatever-resistant and able to just be hosed down at the end of the day like it’s a bathhouse?” That’s right, say goodbye […]

What Are You, A Child? There Is No Such Thing As Blue Monday, Get Back To Work And Stop Whining

Monday, January 6th, 2014

Another new year, another holiday season gone, another bleak-ass January and another go-round with the thing called Blue Monday — a creation of marketers and pseudoscience designed to make you believe that this, today, is the most depressing day of the year. To which we (and plenty others) say: Bullshit. Why, this isn’t even the […]

Rumblings: Lumps Of Coal — Oh, No, Wait, THAT’S POOP

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013

>>> With the season now well upon us, with tidings of gladness and joy, comes this rather inappropriate end-of-year reveal: Oh fuck me, Tom Corbett is getting a raise. [CBS3] >>> Meanwhile, back here in the glass house, does it surprise anyone that even the ice in the Piazza skating rink is fake? [KYW] >>> […]

The Convention Center Is Now Run By A Private Firm, Still A Mess

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013

Way back in May, we told you about the Pennsylvania Convention Center‘s wide-open future, with basically nothing booked from the end of this year until 2016. That’s an issue. So with that in mind, the Convention Center is going all Mitt Romney on us, and being run by a private firm. According to CBS3, “the […]

Guys There Was A Rocket In The Sky Last Night Did You See The Rocket In The Sky?

Wednesday, November 20th, 2013

Amazing rocket launch shot by Sean McDermott! @CBSPhilly @KathyOrrCBS3 @katebilo @Katieisgreaty @CBSNews pic.twitter.com/99gij9vSzw — Wildwood 365 (@Wildwood365) November 20, 2013 Witnessing a rocket launch whilst on the beach in Wildwood was pretty much how we’d hoped to euphemize our date with that boardwalk pizza shop waitress all those years ago at senior week. Well, with […]

Steve Wynn Says “You Know What? I Don’t Even Want That Casino Anymore.”

Monday, November 11th, 2013

That whole casino license thing just got thinned out a bit: According to Philly.com, Steve Wynn has removed himself from the running for Philadelphia’s second casino license. They quote a statement release by Wynn which said “the company’s board of directors ‘met to carefully examine the feasibility and opportunities associated with the company’s domestic development […]