Promise #319:
We’ll never brag about kill fees.

Read more Philebrity Promises here.

Promise #318:
Any time you read the following sentence — “There is going to be alot of news and controversy stirred up here, so get ready to be insulted and outraged” — it’s basically code for, “You will never need to read this blog. Like, seriously. Ever.”

Promise #317:
On this day, Wednesday, February 27, 2008, Philebrity shall hereby retire the DJ/music term “bangers” and all derivations thereof: “club bangers,” “THE bangers,” and so on. We are not sure anyone knows what this term has ever truly meant — or if it meant anything at all — and anyone who uses it, even [...]

Promise #316:
We’re never going to even PRETEND to give a shit about the Eagles.

Promise #315:
If your shit gets ragged on in these pages, it’s not because you are a victim of rote “hipster hostility.” It’s just because, in 2007, a t-shirt line does not contribute to the advancement of fashion. Or anything, really.

Promise #313:
On slow news days, we’ll just start making shit up.

Promise #312:
Never again shall we use the word “Internets.”