Archive for the 'The Philebrity Lexicon' Category

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Choad Safari”

Monday, December 3rd, 2012

choad sa·far·i · noun. Social activity in which a group of friends attend a sequence of bars most usually attended by CHOADS, i.e., primarily members of the DOUCHE CLASS, who have unto themselves an entire unique set of mating rituals and calls to CASUAL VIOLENCE. An open, brazen act of CULTURAL SLUMMING, the CHOAD SAFARI […]

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Hipster Profiling”

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

hip·ster pro·fi·ling · noun. Term used to describe the act of pre-judging a person on the basis of whether they are perceived to be a HIPSTER or not; if the subject in question is indeed perceived as such, a negative judgement is often delivered. Though our research indicates that the phrase HIPSTER PROFILING was possibly […]

Quick Philebrity Lexicon Side Note: Can We Start Calling People “Herbs” Again (If Indeed You Ever Stopped)?

Monday, May 16th, 2011

We need to face some very real facts here when it comes to our chosen pejorative for People Who Are Doing It Wrong. In a time and place where “douchebag” means almost nothing anymore and “hipster,” for the love of cripes, wound up turning into this kind of artery blockage, it occurred to us over […]

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Party Ricketts”

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

par·ty rick·etts · noun. Previously undocumented — though much discussed — disease found in humans, typically in those who overindulge in the consumption of ALCOHOL and/or CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES. Coined by our good friend THE KOSHERICAN (who, it must be noted, has not suffered from PARTY RICKETTS in quite some time but has no doubt borne […]

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Revenge Breeding”

Monday, August 24th, 2009

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Whine Flu”

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

whine · flu · noun, slang. Highly contagious psychological condition affecting many urban dwellers, who often work in close proximity to one another and share similar lifestyles. Symptoms often include open and grotesque displays of dissatisfaction with SIGNIFICANT OTHERS, ROOMMATES and FRIENEMIES. Levels of complaining are often more to voice SELF-AGGRANDIZEMENT than any perceived or real […]

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Promosexual”

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

pro·mo·sex·u·al · noun, adjective, slang. A person – most often a member of the MEDIA or LOCAL ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY — who squeezes publicists for every last free item (be it concert tickets, movie passes, party guest list spots, schwag, booze, etc.) that he/she can get out of the whole weird, warped system. Often does so […]

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Sketchburger”

Monday, August 4th, 2008

sketch·bur·ger · noun, adjective, slang. 1. Person who behaves in socially suspicious ways as a general pattern of behavior. Behaviors tend to relate to problems with SEX and/or DRUGS, although, just as often a SKETCHBURGER could be suffering from a crippling SOCIAL ANXIETY that colors everything they do in an inadvertently suspicious light. Most often, […]

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Pain Cave”

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

pain cave · noun, adjective, slang. Though the term orginated in the 1990s via this song from the WAYNE’S WORLD films, the PAIN CAVE has come to signify in more recent times a state of abject HANGOVER brought on by overindulgence, in short times or prolonged, in ALCOHOL and DRUGS. However, the PAIN CAVE denotes […]

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Jitbag”

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008

Jit·bag · noun, slang. Highly pejorative term of DERISION, used to describe a person whose character, behavior, or status in life is such that he or she is eminently worthy of comparison to a FULLY UTILIZED PROPHYLACTIC that has been carelessly discarded with gay abandon. Syn.: JERKOFF, ASSHAT. The Philebrity Lexicon seeks to put down […]

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Nougars”

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

Nou·gars · slang, pejorative. Severe condition currently affecting young females, often still teenagers, in both MASS CELEBRITY CULTURE as well as the GREATER PHILADELPHIA AREA. Through a combination of nearly KABUKI-esque makeup, tacky clothing and disconcertingly banal attitudes, it is often difficult to tell whether NOUGARS are 14 or 40. In present-day celebrity culture, the […]

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Hammers”

Tuesday, April 24th, 2007

Ham·mers · noun, pejorative. Classification of white males (mostly suburban) from roughly 1979 to 1990, frequently spotted in “DELCO” and other lower-middle-class suburbs. Term is derived from hammer-like motions produced in HEAD-BANGING along to heavy metal style music. HAMMERS were noted for their devotion to this style of music, as well as ROLE-PLAYING GAMES and […]

The Philebrity Lexicon: “Domers”

Wednesday, April 11th, 2007

Do·mers · noun, pejorative. Social subgroup, indigenous to the East Coast of the United States, of middle- and working-class females over the age of 13, but under 27. Indulged in HAIR-TEASING, GUM-CRACKING, and other teenage girl pastimes. However, given their ethnic, working-class backgrounds, DOMERS were also given to coarse behavior, either violent or sexual. Briefly […]