Local "Celebrity Boxing" Promoter Says Screw It, Decides To Put Uber Drivers Vs. Cab Drivers In The Ring

This just in over the transom from the tips@phileb email box, where press releases otherwise unimaginable spring to life, under cover of darkness, like Gremlins®:

What: Uber Driver Johnson Jeanotwill step into tbe ring with Cab Driver Mike Davis as they will settle the dispute of Cab Drivers and Uber Drivers, plus Uber Driver George Robertson Storm will take on Lyft driver Danny Mac to settle their dispute in the Ring they will Battle it Out for 3rounds in Main Event,  the match details on how this match came together, when theymeet at a Press Conference to do staredown and details on what happend the event is promoted by attorney Jason Fine and Celebrity Boxing Promoter aka 16 Minute Man Damon Feldman ticketson sale june 20 at webtix.net All Drivers will do staredown and talk about fight! Date and everything for Fight wil be announced at Press Conference
When: This Wednesday June 22 at 2 pm

For years, Philebrity has been covering the "celebrity boxing" fights promoted by local fight promoter Damon Feldman as a kind of window into the unexamined life. But if you can put together the word salad above, you'll see that for his next magic trick, Feldman will actually put Uber drivers and cab drivers (and Lyft drivers, but really, who cares) into the ring, to duke it out, once and for all. (Or perhaps just once more on that particular day, notable mostly because it's scheduled in advance and in an actual boxing ring and not just on the street.) 

To us, this represents a kind of semiotic shift in Feldman's own already quite particular hustle. Where once, Octomom battled stripper in a kind of schadenfreakshow, today, warring factions of capitalism itself will step into the ring. This feels new, doesn't it? This feels like a kind of truly inspired situationist commentary. This feels like it's trying to tell us something.