This Moment In Crowdfunding: Local Man Would Like To Leave The Matrix

Hey everyone, as some of you may or may not know, I've been stuck in the matrix for almost 31 years. It's very important that I see my way out but it's not cheap. To even get in contact with Morpheus is a longshot but I'm sure I can do it. I just need a small of $5000 to put the process into its final stages. Please help and don't leave me stuck in this fake computerized world. HELP.

We'll consider it, with one stipulation: Take us with you when you go.