Cable news channels and blogs from both sides of the ideological spectrum are all sporting voyeurwood over the silly slap fight going on between first ballot hall of fame Washington investigative reporter Bob Woodward and Obama Senior Advisor David Plouffe. Apparently, Woodward published an Op-Ed in the Washington Post asserting that automatic spending cuts in this whole sequester hub-bub were an idea whose origins lie with Barack Obama. White House Press Secretary James Carney said that idea was “non-sensical” and Plouffe sent an email — which Woodward has been reading into any TV camera that will point at him — in which he predicted that Woodward would “regret” these assertions. Woodward has said he is very troubled that a member of the White House would threaten him, and Plouffe has been denying any aspect of the threatening nature of the word. It’s all very junior high and frankly we were pretty happy that it had steered well clear of our purview so we could continue bringing you updates about SEPTA smart cards and hipster bands, but then Plouffe had to go and tweet this:
Watching Woodward last 2 days is like imagining my idol Mike Schmidt facing live pitching again. Perfection gained once is rarely repeated,”
Now when we first read this tweet, we thought perhaps Wilmington native David Plouffe had never seen baseball, since perfection is not something that is ever associated with hitters, let alone power hitters. Schmidtty actually has 1883 career whiffs, which is 10th on the all time list, and in fact led the league in K’s four separate times. He is the Phillies all-time leader in such, and if the Phils sell Ryan Howard to the Yankees soon enough, Schmidtty will remain atop that dubious leaderboard.
We say this not to disparage the best hot-cornerer the Phillies have ever had, and quite probably the best to ever man the bag. We mostly say it to disparage Plouffe specifically and shitty tweeters in general. We do however have to admire the big ol’ balls on Plouffe. We asked @RMNix37 for a comment on a senior White House official contradicting a Bob Woodward assertion, but he could not be reached for comment having resigned and died in disgrace. Now we can be done with this trifling matter and proud that we got out without making a scatological reference to the onomatopoeia-like quality of his surname.