Progressively Marching Into The 21st Century, Philly Diocese Bans Girls From Playing Football

adopAccording to Forbes, a panel assembled by the Archdiocese of Philadelphia (also known as the He-Man Woman Haters Club) voted to uphold a ban on females in grades 5 to 8 from playing Catholic Youth Organization (CYO) contact football. This all arose when “the Archdiocese decided to enforce a boys-only rule after an opposing team reported that Caroline Pla, an 11-year old defensive end and offensive guard on Romans football team in Doylestown, PA, was playing in her second season.” After finishing the season, the Archdiocese told Pla she couldn’t play anymore. Pla’s family appealed, which led to the panel.

According to the sources Forbes talked to, an issue that came up was “inappropriate touching” (let’s not even get into the irony of that). What kind of inappropriate touching?

One scenario the group was told to picture was a female quarterback putting her hands too close to the posterior of a male center. When asked what that meant, one source inferred the female QB would then be inclined to start inappropriately touching the center. The other source inferred that the boy might like the touching and perhaps more kids would start signing up to play the sport.”

You know, the most likely scenario.

You can read more about the completely rational reasoning behind the panel’s decision, and some responses from Pla’s family here, and for good measure you can sign a petition supporting her right to play here.