Michael Klein Manages To Outweird Himself In His Own Piece

kleinPipe in however you want about your favorite food blog or food blogger, this much is true: Perennially annoyed-at-the-Internet and “Firsties!”-obsessed Philly.com food columnist Michael Klein still lords over the city’s gastromedia with an iron fist masked by that soft, beautiful, blown-dry hair. Klein’s continuously-challenged reign, we are told by people in the biz, is one of subtle manipulation and entitled expectance; sometimes, he even gets to write.

And write he did yesterday. Wedged onto the end of an otherwise chockablock item about things going in and out at the Chestnut Hill Hotel (do please write your own joke there), we suddenly fly into a plot summary of a Philip Roth novel that has not yet been written:

Jonathan’s Best, a gourmet shop that’s been at the side of the hotel since the 1980s, is closing at the end of March. [...]

This is a man with a new sense of purpose. Several years ago, after the death of his wife, Janet, he said he was ready to die. He climbed the steps of the Art Museum in a rainstorm and called to the heavens to ask God and Janet to take him. If not, he said, he would live a good life.

“They didn’t take me,” he said.

He told me that he met a woman in the Philippines through Skype. After long chats, he flew her to Philly and they married six months ago. He’s 67, and added with considerable pride, she is 29.

We’re not sure what any of this has to do with the new Bynum Brothers spot, but hey: Slow claps all around, Mike. Have you shown this to Byko?