Byko Will Not Shut Up Because Byko Does Not Need To Shut Up So You Shut Up Because Suck On This, Punk, Byko Just Outlived You All
EHHHHRRRR, AH, HOY HOY, YOU SCUM-SUCKING, TOTE-BAG-TOKING, AL FRESCO FIXED GEAR NINNYS! FOR NOW IT CAN BE REVEALED: AS WE SPEAK, I, STUART “STU” “BYKO” BYKOFSKY, BORN OF STRONG EASTERN EUROPEAN STOCK INTO A WORLD YOU LITTLE QUEERS WOULD FIND COMPLETELY UNRECOGNIZABLE, I, ME, BYKO, MYSELF… I AM DANCING ON YOUR GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVES! Did you ever think in one million years that I would outlast Danny Gross?! That this young chubbling who learned at my knee the ways of the world would take a buyout before myself! HAH! I KNOW THAT YOU DID NOT THINK THAT! But I, me, Byko is like a legendary KARA-TAY MASTER! Master always saves some tricks for himself! HIYAAAAAH! WELCOME TO MY DOJO! For here is more news: I HAVE A BLOG NOW! HIYAH! MOST HONORABLE! We call it the Stuniversity because it is where I school you little Mumford & Sons pantywaists! You may be wondering how I know what a blog is! You may be wondering how I know what a Mumford & Son is! DO YOU NOT BELIEVE THAT I, ME, BYKO KNOWS ALL? DO YOU NOT BELIEVE THAT I WILL NOT BE SATISFIED UNTIL I HATH MADE A PUBLIC GALLOWS OUT OF A MELTED DOWN FIXIE FRAME? DO YOU NOT BELIEVE THAT LONG AFTER THIS PAPER HAS BEEN SOLD FIVE MORE TIMES AND OUR OFFICES HAVE BEEN TURNED INTO A QUIZNO’S THAT I WILL STILL BE HERE BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS HERE?
Be still, my sweet child, and be still, my dogs of war. For the master is always a student, and we all, all of us, each and every one, still have so much to learn. Welcome to my dojo.
Byko Will Not Shut Up About His Completely Hypocritical And Insincere Feelings About Human Trafficking
Byko Will Not Shut Up About His Ambivalent Feelings Regarding Sex Tourism In Thailand
Byko Will Also Not Shut Up About The Fucking Facebook
Byko Will Not Shut Up About The Fucking Bike Lanes
Byko Will Also Not Shut Up About The Fucking Al Fresco Dining
Byko Will Not Shut Up And Will Never Shut Up About The Fucking Bicyclists Because Byko Is A Fucking Text-Generating Robot
Byko Will Not Shut Up About The Fucking Al Fresco Dining, Redux