Archive for January 17th, 2013

This Evening: Orchestral Maneuvers In The Underground

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

>>> Do you like what you see above? Do you wish you were there? Well, you don’t have a time machine so you can’t be. But, tonight, the situation will be eerily similar with the same band (West Philadelphia Orchestra) at the same venue (Underground Arts) and we’re sure some of the same audience members. […]

Give Thanks: Phillies Announce The Girls Of Summer 2013

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

Today, the Phillies 2013 ball girls have been announced. There are nine new girls, including a set of twins from Wilmington, DE. There are eight ladies returning from last year. Along with glovework, the tryouts also included tests of interpersonal skills and baseball knowledge, (which is shockingly similar to our eharmony winnowing process). Last year’s […]

Today is Ben Franklin’s 306th: Party Like A Signer, Y’all

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

Today, America’s first blogger celebrates his 306th birthday. His contributions to the nation and “The Paris of the New World” are as legendary as they are copious, and we need not fill you in on all that rising or setting sun/Poor Richard/hey kid/let’s go fly a kite in the rain/I say we choose the noble […]

Is It Sue The Police Week?: Meek Mill Is Suing The PPD For False Imprisonment

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

Get you lawsuits ready, apparently it’s Sue the PPD Week: Following in the footsteps of the ACLU, rapper Meek Mill is suing the Philadelphia Police Department for False Imprisonment. But unlike the ACLU, Meek Mill is not suing the PPD because he was arrested for taking a picture, he’s suing because he was arrested and […]

And Now, Today’s GOOD NEWS: GPFO, Tony Danza Will Help You Finish Your Documentary

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

We are not in Park City, Utah right now, which is to say we are not at Sundance. But the people from the Greater Philadelphia Film Office are there, and so is Tony Danza. Why? Because Tony Danza. And good ol’ Teach is there to help the GPFO announce the Derek Freese Film Foundation‘s “most […]

Captain Freeshit: Win A Pair Of Tickets To See Wyatt Cenac At The Troc Tomorrow Night!

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

Though he started off working on one of the most underrated shows of the past fifteen years, King of the Hill, Wyatt Cenac is mostly know for his recent stint as a correspondent for The Daily Show. Though he left the show in December, he left behind a history of some of the better segments […]

Noontime Nuggetz: Please Nutter Don’t Hurt ‘Em

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

Mayor Michael Nutter has been making the rounds lately on CNN, C-SPAN, and around Washington in his role as the president of the U.S. Conference of Mayors (where he will be addressed by MC Hammer today, because politics). Last week, he and Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey sat down with Piers Morgan for a rational talk […]

The Way We Live Now: Charlie Sheen’s Ex-Goddess On The Side Of I-95 And HughE Dillon Is Crying

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

Two great distastes that distaste great together: Yep, that would be Charlie Sheen’s ex, porn star Bree Olsen on the side I-95 on da way to da Norfeast (where else), shilling for the euphemistically named ArrangementFinders.com, “the world’s most popular dating site for women seeking millionaires.” Meanwhile, in another part of town: OMG Dan Gross […]

Pacino. DePalma. Sandusky.

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

WE! ARE! GROSSED OUT! Producer Edward R. Pressman has optioned sportswriter Joe Posnanski’s Paterno and is gearing up to squeeze it through a Hollywood tube to make something called Happy Valley, with Brian De Palma and Al Pacino as director and star, respectively. It’s unconfirmed whether or not Manti Te’o’s Dead Girlfriend will co-star as […]

Rumblings: Wings, Only The Band Food The Beatles Could Have Been

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

>>> Those of you not wearing shorts in the wintertime with Adidas slides and a very large white man’s burden may not yet be aware: It’s almost Wing Bowl time! Ah, yes, that time of year when a suburban choad’s fancy turns to visions of sauce-smeared professional choads vying for the glory in an arena […]

Dept. Of Look At These Assholes: The Westboro Baptist Church Will Be In Allentown This Sunday

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

Playoff football is going on but if you, like us, do not care at all, maybe you can take a roadtrip to see a different kind of show: The Westboro Baptist Church (who are giant assholes) will be protesting at four different churches in Allentown this Sunday. We can’t remember hearing of an instance of […]

This Week In Balls: Let The Chip Kelly Era Begin

Thursday, January 17th, 2013

The Eagles are lucky they got him, but choosing Kelly over a proven NFL coordinator or coach comes with risks beyond unconventional schemes and play calling. Breaking with standard NFL protocol always creates the possibility of tension with players. 18-22 year old college players will tolerate a lot of abuse, but highly paid professionals, some […]