CBS3, The Worst News, To Broadcast NYE Fireworks Because There’s Nothing Quite As Disappointing As Fireworks On TV

Planning on staying home alone on New Year’s Eve with nothing but broadcast television to keep you company? Two things: Jesus, man. And, a programming note: Celebrate 2013 — a live broadcast of Penn’s Landing’s New Year’s Eve fireworks spectacular — will air Monday, December 31st, 11:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. on CBS3, aka the worst news. Anchors Chris May and Susan Barnett will host the special along with Meteorologist Kathy Orr reporting live on the ice at Blue Cross RiverRink. This will go perfectly with your generic cigarettes and the string of failed relationships that led you to this exact place right here right now.

Drink up, sonny. It’s gonna be a long winter.