You Bastard! You Stole Fergie’s Bike!

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Philebrity has learned that, after 20 years of faithful service, Fergie‘s bike has been stolen. (Which is especially insane around this time year because who of us can really say that Fergie isn’t Santa Claus?) If you see it, as depicted above in a recent issue of Philly Beer Scene, do please ring up Fergie’s pub and let them know. This aggression will not stand, dude.