No One Ever Said The Singularity Wouldn’t Be Convenient

Skynet has been aware since 1997, and the slow march toward the robot apocalypse is still on track for 2029. And even though we always figured the first ground troops would be our Roomba while our Roku enacted its own Operation Fortitude, it turns out that you can catch more flies with honeybuns and toilet paper and Lunchables. Shop24 is probably the biggest, baddest, reddest vending machine that you ever did see. Open 24/7 you can choose up to 7 items at a time, insert your cash or swipe swipe, and scurry home with the Herr’s ridged, and the Trojans ribbed.

You can check out a moving picture demo here.

So far, the only Philadelphia Location is at the super convenient address of 3900 Gateway Drive, in the aptly titled apartment community called The Enclaves Which is down by the Stadia, from whence nothing good lately comes.
And while much has been made of the impending and unstoppable singularity, we fear that this is rather a more insidious malignancy. The impending Tokyotality. We may be old fashioned, but kinda prefer the opportunity to interact with humans. But perhaps that’s just a blogger thing.

  • Brad Arnold

    Expect to see some appearing in urban America soon (do you know how much shoplifting and clerk wages cost convenience stores?). Maybe it needs a robot sentry though.