Film Sweat: Blonde, James Blonde

RECOMMENDED: Look, with Hurricane Sandy coming through last week, we were supposed to see screenings of both Lincoln (out this weekend in limited release, not in the area) and Skyfall. Both screenings were cancelled or moved or we just couldn’t get there anymore, so we haven’t seen either film. Luckily for everyone, Skyfall is the only film coming out in wide release this week. But we’re still a bit bummed about missing the screenings. So here, for your amusement and ours, is a head-to-head match-up of which film to see, if for some odd and convoluted reason you can only see one:

>>> LEAD ACTOR NAMED DANIEL: James Bond is Daniel Craig. Abraham Lincoln is Daniel Day-Lewis, which is without question more names. Point Lincoln.

>>> GUNS: Lincoln’s got old-timey Civil War guns. Skyfall’s got future guns. Point Skyfall.

>>> FACIAL HAIR: Skyfall is full of mostly clean-shaven dudes. Lincoln’s got more mustaches and mutton-chops than you can shake a bottle of Hendrick’s Gin at. Point Lincoln.

>>> HAIR: Point Skyfall.

>>> DIRECTOR: Lincoln has got Spielberg, and Skyfall’s got Sam Mendes. Both have turned out great work, but only one has Produced the Transformers movies. Point Skyfall.

>>> OVERALL CAST: Lincoln’s got DDL, Sally Field, Tommy Lee Jones, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jackie Earle Haley, S. Epatha Merkerson, James Spader, and more; cornering the dudes-with-three-names market. Skyfall has Craig, Javier Bardem, Albert Finney, Judi Dench, Ralph Fiennes, Ben Whishaw, Naomie Harris, and Rhys Ifans; cornering the British-person market. Point Lincoln.

>>> LENGTH: Skyfall is 2 hours and 25 minutes, Lincoln is 2 hours and 29 minutes. You’ll need bathroom breaks for both. Push.

>>> OSCAR BAIT: Point Lincoln.

So, that brings our total to five points for Lincoln, and four points for Skyfall. Lincoln however doesn’t see wide release until next week, so just see Skyfall. Good? Good.

ALSO NEW IN THEATERS: This Must Be The Place at the Ritz Bourse, where Sean Penn is dressed up like Robert Smith and … sorry, our brains just stopped working; The Flat at Ritz Five, which like the Sean Penn movie, has something to do with Nazis; and A Late Quartet at Ritz Five, where Catherine Keener, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Christopher Walken play members of a string quartet who have to face what happens when one of them must retire.

For more recommendations on films currently in theaters, visit Philebrity’s Film Sweat archive. And click here for movie times. Need repertory film? Try Cinedelphia.

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