With news breaking earlier this week that John Bolaris is off to live in sadness, alone, year-round in his vacation home on Long Island, Bolaris took to Twitter this week, and fully just melted down all over the place. And though we have had plenty of fun with the man, let us just say this: We can’t believe that none of you fucks in the Local Fake TV News could not find it in your hearts (or in your deepest sense of pragmatism) to find a job for the man. For Bolaris, totem of the douche class that he is, is still truly one of us. And he belongs on TV here. More so than any faceless Adam Josephs or even Sheena Parvene (though it must be said, that Sheena Parvene is pretty damned easy on the eyes, so maybe not her, BUT YOU GET WHAT WE ARE SAYING). ActionNews! Get some balls and hire this guy! CBS3! How much would it burn the asses of the jerks at NBC10 and FOX29 if you took the guy on! Channel 17! Kill off your partnership with NBC and start anew with DO SHOT IN THE MORNINGS! Surely, there must be a way to keep the man here. There must be.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 31st, 2012 at 2:31 pm.