Oh, hush: Your gripes about La Colombe’s innate elitism, whether presumed or real, bore us. Why? That coffee fucking rules, and here’s another part of it: In terms of pure possible-portal-to-another-dimension-ness, the bathroom at La Colombe Torrefaction‘s flagship at 130 South 19th Street has nothing on, say, the dearly departed mirror room at Lorenzo’s. Or, for that matter, the phone booth in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. One old door leads to other old doors; only one of them is the right one. (Last time I was there, a teenage girl went into the wrong one and got locked inside. What did she see? She screamed!) Then that door — the right one — leads to two more doors: one stall has been boarded up, as best we can tell, since at least the 1990s; other gives way to your final destination, a doubla-vay-say ENCASED IN MARBLE. Why? The whole thing is confusing. And we know something is up with that other locked stall. We know not what, but it’s something. Maybe this is where Wawa coffee comes from. Maybe it’s Tom Ripley’s secret office. Point is, this place has more than enough cash to get a normal bathroom that does not indicate either time travel or a murderous secret. And yet, still, they do not. There has to be a reason.

Is there a Place You Can’t Understand in Philly? Some nook or cranny that makes no sense whatsoever? Let us know about it at tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 23rd, 2012 at 3:14 pm.