To The Michael Jackson Impersonator Under The Clothespin And In Front Of The 15th Street Underground Dunkin’ Donuts
Sir, we do not think that could possibly be aware of the service you are providing to the city, and us, the people of Philadelphia. In your routine, there is time travel and hope and hustle and physical dexterity — basically, it contains every skill one needs to live. It is timeless. We thank you. We have nothing else to offer except a crinkled one and advice that, when it comes time to meet your soulmate, don’t fall for this ruse, as we expect so many others have. We bid you peace.