For while it is true — it shall always be true — that losing your shirt in a fracas after you were caught stealing pampers, forcing you to run out of the store topless as you flee to a waiting car, is pretty classless and sad on an entire host of levels, it is, in fact, admirable in some way. These are diapers. They are for a child. There is an imminent need. Fine. But, turning our gaze to the law, how can one defend giving a quote like this to the media?
“Her breasts were swinging as she ran to the car,” Chitwood said.
One cannot. And so it is decided: A fleeing topless Pampers thief has more dignity and class than Michael Chitwood. Sorry, folks. We do not make the rules.