Byko Will Not Shut Up About The Fucking Al Fresco Dining, Redux

bykoEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Fuckers! It’s you again! It’s me again! IT’S THAT MOTHERFUCKING SIDEWALK AGAIN! Do you know what it’s like! Do you know what it’s like to walk these molten streets of shame, where once my very name was good enough for four, five Johnny Walker Blacks in any drinking establishment in this city, WHERE MY VERY NAME WAS BOND! Every corner bar! Every absentee father! They knew me! They read me! ALL DEAD NOW! And what is left! Some pinko joint selling burratas and caramel budino AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT FUCKING IS! And these tables, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh these sidewalk tables, as I weave and bob from side to side down the streets where you live, they turn my amble into nothing but a sickly child’s game of bumper pool! DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT I WAS A PUBLISHED AUTHOR AND THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT A MAN OF LETTERS!? A MAN OF LETTERS, I SAY! ALL GONE NOW, ALL DEAD, AND I CANNOT FIND MY OFFICE! BUT I WOULD LOVE TO FIND YOUR ORIFICE, YOUNG LADY! That is, if you are a young lady! Oh, I suppose it doesn’t matter. But once. Once…

Pardon me, madam, I feel a little sick right now.

Previously: Byko Will Not Shut Up About His Completely Hypocritical And Insincere Feelings About Human Trafficking
Byko Will Not Shut Up About His Ambivalent Feelings Regarding Sex Tourism In Thailand
Byko Will Also Not Shut Up About The Fucking Facebook
Byko Will Not Shut Up About The Fucking Bike Lanes
Byko Will Also Not Shut Up About The Fucking Al Fresco Dining
Byko Will Not Shut Up And Will Never Shut Up About The Fucking Bicyclists Because Byko Is A Fucking Text-Generating Robot

  • thegreengrass

    This man needs to get laid.

  • 1980CHAMPS

    Why?  He would  just complain about it ad nauseam anyways.  

    Whoever came up the nickname Stouche hit it right on the head.

  • thegreengrass

    Fantastic. Probably very true.