Remember back in December, when Bala Cynwyd business wonk Gene Marks penned that “If I Were A Poor Black Kid” rant for Forbes? Holy crap that was… crap. But as it turns out, there is a silver lining here: Every time Presumptuous White God closes a door, Presumptuous White God opens a window (for Presumptuous White God, that is). And the good folks at PhillyMag just opened that window for Marks; here, you can read his directives on what to do when the whole motherfucking Internet discovers you’re a racist dummy. That’s, er, mighty white of you guys. We look forward to other pieces such as this, perhaps like, Arthur Kade on the dangers of self-regard, or Larry Mendte on computer security.