This Is What Rick Santorum’s America Would Be Like

Oh no. Please, someone has to stop the reign of the rooster. But hey, at least the song finally answers the age old question of “who gave us the Bill of Rights?” Hint: it was God.

  • Su Su Pseudonym

    Oh great. Now you get to come over here and clean the vomit up out of my mouth.

  • Zombie Larry

    still better than Obama by a long shot.

  • http://auxinn.wordpress.com/ Sonny

    Shut up, Larry.

  • Allan Smithee

    Just in case you were wondering why Rick Santorum was giving his Super Tuesday campaign speech at a high School in Stuebenville, OH. last night, it wasn’t because Dean Martin is the most-famous son. Think it has to do with the College of Stuebenville, a Catholic (Private) College.

    The school is well known in “Charsmatic Christian” circles. They even have an “eternal flame” memorial to aborted fetuses there. The well-know Father John Bertilugi (in Charismatic Circles) used to teach there. (Googled him a few wks ago and found he left in digrace with “sex abuse charges” accusing him of said crimes.

    Note: I attended the school when it was known as the “University” of Stuebenville. My Brothers/Sisters (all college graduates) think I flunked out. My parents think I dropped out. The school “officially” kicked me out of my dorm room for smoking pot. Didn’t appeal the administrative judgement.

    … or Rick Santorium could have picked Stubenville, OH. because of the smell. It’s near the West Virginia border where there is heavy strip mining/smelting(?).

    The odor there puts Springfield (the Simpsons) to shame. Also, there’s always a black film covering the snow during the winter. (Insert Santorum-Soul Joke Here)

  • chuck63

    Actually, he’s not better than Obama.

  • amarikah

    @Allan Smithee, you had enough privacy to smoke? My weird Opus Dei relative was a RA at Stuebenville and gleefully recounted cock-blocking the women in her hall, making them keep their doors ALL THE WAY open when having male visitors and extinguishing any candles.

  • Allan Smithee

    @amarikah

    re: weird Opus Dei relative was a RA at Stuebenville and gleefully recounted cock-blocking the women in her hall, making them keep their doors ALL THE WAY open when having male visitors.

    HaHa. That’s very funny/true. Visitors of the opposite sex though were only allowed during *weekends* not during the week. And yeah, you had to keep your door open when said visitations occurred.

    re: you had enough privacy to smoke

    My room-mate my freshman year was a “Clown For Christ.” He put on make-up, large fake shoes, and a silly costume and preached the gospel to kids/children. The dorm room originally had bunk bed and he slept using a “water pillow.” It’s exactly what is sounds like. For the first month or two, I thought he was continually masturbating loudly but then found out the noise was from when he moved his head on the H2O pillow. He later moved out due to our differences and the following semester I moved into one of the “less desireable” dorms so had room to myself.