It Is Important For The Tony Luke Jr. Brand To Let You Know That Tony Luke Jr. And Jen Carroll Are Dating

So, this happened:

And you can either read our little rant/meditation on the nature of microcelebrity in Philadelphia after the jump, or you can simply join us in this plaintive cry and be done with it: Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people?

OK. So:

1.) Let us first, and most importantly, ponder the nature of love. Does love need a publicist? We think not. Can love help your “brand?” Probably, though even the most rogue agent among us would have to admit that you’re playing with fire if you endeavor to make who someone is dating a part of some/any media push. If the love between Tony Luke Jr. and Jen Carroll is real — and who are we to doubt that it isn’t? — wouldn’t it have been better to allow the world to find out this love on its own terms, by viewing it out in the wild, as it were? And finally, what is love? Baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me. No more.

2.) Secondly, let us address the nature of microcelebrity here in Philadelphia, as the portmanteau of those very two things is supposedly our calling card, our URL, the hook upon which we hang our hat. Since Philebrity’s beginnings, we’ve generally been operating under the idea that Philebrities are made by what they do as opposed to who they are; and although there have been exceptions to the rule (for instance, we’ve long been fascinated by Nicole Cashman for what she is), it’s these exceptions that make the rule.

As it turns out, this might be an old-fashioned concept: For PR drones like the poor soul conversing with us above, this two-horse town is basically us and Dan Gross, for whom the criteria has been, increasingly over the years, less about what they do in terms of actual contributions to the Philadelphia scene (heretofore known as “Our Thing”) and more about how long they’ve been reading a teleprompter/how much skin they’ve shown/what place they went to that time/who they’ve fucked. For us, though, it’s still about the work: And though love is indeed grand, we kind of don’t care if you’re smushing, Tony Luke Jr. and Jen Carroll. And we think it’s kind of completely jive that you had a third party reach out to us to let us know. It smacks of desperation and insincerity.

We mention this not to be a scold, but to get back to a point we feel like we have to reiterate a few times a year: PHILADELPHIA WILL GET THE PHILEBRITIES THAT PHILADELPHIA DESERVES AND DEMANDS. AND WE CONTEND THAT OUR THING IS ABOUT THE WORK. The exchange captured above is basically the pratfall of someone trying to run a Kardashian game in a town where A) that will never fly because B) every woman walking down the street believes herself to be (and so therefore is) possessed of more style, beauty and substance than any Kardashian could ever handle. Yes, the bar is low, but then again, these are low times in which we’re living. And as for the men, well, the men don’t know any better. That is universal. What woman would have ever sent us the kind of emails you see above?

3.) Finally, we’d like to address the unholy inferno that is the tips[at]philebrity[dot]com inbox, and what might be perceived as uncomfortability on our part with being in the gossip game. In short, we’re not uncomfortable in that game. We love this place. We love Our Thing. It’s just that we try to remain as in tune with the higher ideals about Our Thing as anyone can. The electricity beneath the streets here has kept Philadelphia a wily place, where ambition and drive and moxie meet great ideas and a fuck-you spirit, for well over two hundred years. This isn’t just any place; the usual rules don’t apply here. And while that has led some people and things to pass over Philadelphia, (perhaps rightly) perceiving the place as a strange kind of vacuum, those of us who’ve stayed have realized that it is, in fact, the perfect place to do Your Thing in the middle of Our Thing.

So don’t ever be afraid to drop us a line and let us know what you’re doing. We love to hear about what you’re doing. As for who you’re doing, though? Well, we just really don’t care.

  • the_ill

    thank you, tips. I got a good laugh from your final email in that chain

  • Chris Smith

    Wow, can’t believe you pasted the actual email. Not sure that will help your writing career.

  • MattyMo

    Aside from the substance of the e-mails, the form and procedure are insanely vexatious. So much for PR and Communications working together hand-in-glove.

    1) “There” should be “their” in the first e-mail.
    2) “Is this ‘Dan’ or an associate?” Ummmm, really? Here, let me give you this exclusive. It’s just for you. Who is this again? Not to mention, the question comes after a long sting about stuff Dan has done.
    3) Run on sentences.
    4) Punctuation? We don’t need your stinking punctuation.
    5) Then will “I eel have him call.”

    Please no.