Just kidding. But as usual, we will be at the 700, laying down grooves and vibes and crying into the glass. You should come.

We’ve just returned from the polls (no lines whatsoever!), and it’s here that we must relate a mildly unsettling experience: There’s some strange mojo going on with that whole thing where Milton Street’s name is actually above Michael Nutter’s on the ballot. For one, the eye instinctively expects Nutter to be where Street is, and [...]

The planking craze (basically lying rigidly on the ground, face down, in as weird a location as possible for a picture) has gotten tons of media coverage recently, mainly because someone in Australia died doing it. He fell 7 stories after unsuccessfully trying to lie on his inches-wide balcony railing. But here in Philly, Randi [...]

A tipster who likes to watch polls tells us: Election Volunteers at the FLP – Richmond Branch voting station say about 10% of registered voters had shown up & voted so far… that’s about 48-50 out of a possible 500 or so. Expects turnout to reach about 15% or slightly more by the time the [...]

Phantom by Weathervane Music Big Troubles’ “Phantom” is the latest drop from the Weathervane/Shaking Through thing, and holy moly, it doesn’t suck. This NJ band — think Real Estate with Oasis-size balls — are definitely the loudest thing to come out of Weathervane since Party Photographers, and “Phantom” sounds like they’re trying to drown out [...]

When reached for comment and told of this news, sources tell us that Milton Street promptly “got a bad case of the vapors.”

And it comes to pass that Michael Vick won out over Arlene Ackerman and Michael Nutter for the students of the assembled Camelot Schools, and will be their chosen commencement speaker next month at the Kimmel Center. I mean, of course, right? Although, frankly, don’t count out Ackerman as a champion malicious exploiter of creatures [...]

On account of International Museum Day, tomorrow, May 18th, there will be free admission to museums around the globe. And Philly’s no exception: The Philadelphia Museum of Art will offer free admission all day on Wednesday, May 18th, in celebration of International Museum Day. Free admission will also be extended to the Museum-administered Park Houses, [...]

More like YAWNBOMBING! Ha! See what we did there? Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

According to our friends at the Committee Of Seventy, voter turnout today thus far has been very, very light. Which is nothing new in Philly if there’s rain in the mix, such as there is today. But it’s also quite scary. Here’s some sample turnout numbers: 1st Ward, Division 1 (First Councilmanic District): As of [...]

A question about a strange event at Liberty Lands Park in Northern Liberties on May 1st turned into a fiery discussion on the (often entertaining, often completely maddening) NorthernLiberties.org Message Board. After an initial query about an event involving speakers, “talking a lot about guns, ballistics, the functionality of gas masks, and other self defense [...]

Only in Philadelphia: Not only does shithouse-krazy Milton Street get on the ballot, but he gets top billing over Michael Nutter. It would not be an un-Philadelphian occurrence to have an extra million or so people accidentally vote for him. So please get out there and vote tomorrow. It’s been a dead-unsexy election season, so [...]

After boxing both Vai Sikahema and Danny Bonaduce (and losing to both of them), Jose Canseco is involved in a whole new fight. “Celebrity Boxing Promoter” (all three of those words deserve some serious air quotes) and complete scumbag Damon Feldman is suing Canseco after finding out Jose pulled the classic switcheroo and sent his [...]

City Council At-Large candidate Andy Toy is a progressive candidate we know a lot of you out there like, and if elected tomorrow, he would become Council’s first Asian American member. We’re liking what we’re seeing from Toy, too — except this mailer, which struck the design nerd/print refugee in us as absurdly extravagant in [...]

Mayor Michael Nutter just sent out his traditional get-out-the-vote email blast today, reminding one and all that tomorrow is Election Day, and with it, this set of endorsements. Now, there is a very strong urge in us that would like to see Nutter get his wish. The bad hand he was dealt for Term One [...]

So, Don Lemon came out. Which is actually really great. It may not mean much in the grand scheme of things, but, you know, good for him. On one hand, it’s not like gay youngsters need role models in the field of People Who Read The News, but on the other, we can’t help but [...]

Zee Bar is a little bit of Las Vegas here in Philly. It’s mysterious, exciting, exclusive and cagey. More times than not people would rather you not take their photos cause there’s a good chance they’re not where they should be, but where they want to be, where the fun is. What goes on here [...]

Big ol’ hat tip to commenter Timo for unearthing this BBC segment on Philly’s very, very early hip-hop scene. This one’s a must-watch.

Burp.

We need to face some very real facts here when it comes to our chosen pejorative for People Who Are Doing It Wrong. In a time and place where “douchebag” means almost nothing anymore and “hipster,” for the love of cripes, wound up turning into this kind of artery blockage, it occurred to us over [...]