Get Schoolled: Illadelph Yourselph
Get Schoolled: A weekly dispatch to the city of Philadelphia
from the original gangster, Schoolly D.
Philadelphia native Schoolly D is widely considered the original gangster rapper. Schoolly has recorded nine studio albums, including PSK, Saturday Night, Smoke Some Kill and Welcome to America. He has scored numerous films, such as King of New York and Bad Lieutenant, and lent his composing and vocal talents to popular cartoons including the cult hit Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Currently, he is working on several projects including a forthcoming collaborative album.
This week, Schoolly ponders our very Philadelphian preponderance of nicknames.
Get Schoolled, 3/28/11: The Name Game
Schoolly Schoolly bo-boolly, banana-fana fo-foolly, fi-fie-foe-moolly: SCHOOLLY!
Ahhhh, Philly: Not “Illadelph” or anything that sounds like a bad sports drink, or we’re trying too hard to impress somebody, ‘cuz FUCK THAT!! We are Philly we don’t need to impress anybody! And being someone that has traveled the world and lived and called home to both Philly and Atlanta (“the ATL,” not “Hotlanta”), I noticed that Philly is all about nicknames (… and neighborhoods, people, food, and sex. Coochie, anyone?)
I don’t know about my WASP-y brothers, but the rest of us need nicknames. For instance, I know four different Debras — the only way to tell them apart is through nicknames. There is Regular Deb, Divorce Deb, Piano Deb and Deb the bitch you want to chop up, put in the trash bag and toss in the Delaware because the bitch never shuts the fuck up Deb… sheeeeiiittt.
And back in the day, if you were young and black with no nickname, that equalled no booty or girlfriend. Here are a few I am still feeling: Nicholas “Pimp Pretty,” Lance “Code Money,” Ronald “Royal Ron,” Lenny “Disco Len” (no relationship to Disco Stu), and my favorite, Jesse Bonds… Schoolly Mafuckin D!!! And the ‘hoods: There’s South Philly, Northside, G Town, The Bottom, Hilltop, The Badlands — these are all kool. But “NoLibs” sounds like you’re trying too hard, yo.
Even old school gangs have kool names; The Moon Gang, 60th Street, The Valley, JBM (Junior Black Mafia) and of course PSK. Anyone remember the Tic Tac Toe gang?
This is one of the best sports towns in the world, so look here, homies: it’s the Phils, not the Fighting Phils. And
nobody says the 76ers, it’s “6ers” or “Who?…We still have a basketball team?” Ahhhhhh! And then there’s the Eagles; their nickname would be, “What the fuck just happened, yo?” or the “Birds.” And last but not least, the Broad Street Bullies, biaaatch.
If you have your favorites or I forgot any please send your comments my way.
Get Schoolled appears every Monday on Philebrity. For more Schoolly D wisdom, click here.
