par·ty rick·etts · noun.
Previously undocumented — though much discussed — disease found in humans, typically in those who overindulge in the consumption of ALCOHOL and/or CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES. Coined by our good friend THE KOSHERICAN (who, it must be noted, has not suffered from PARTY RICKETTS in quite some time but has no doubt borne witness to the suffering of countless others), the disease typically erupts in outbreaks that can last any length of time between 5 and 3,000 days. Symptoms include: REMORSE, THE SWEARING OFF OF WHATEVER CAUSED THE PARTY RICKETTS, PLEDGES OF SOBRIETY, LONGING FOR TRUE LOVE and LONG STRETCHES OF TELEVISION WATCHING. True to form, in its earliest stages, PARTY RICKETTS is accompanied by a PAIN CAVE. Thus far, the only cure — or rather, way clear to remission — for PARTY RICKETTS is TIME, which, as they say, heals all wounds. And wounds all heels.
Ex.: “I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it to brunch today, friend. It would seem that I was unwise on St. Patty’s Day and my PARTY RICKETTS are acting up again.”
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Previously In The Philebrity Lexicon: DOMERS, HAMMERS, JITBAGS, NOUGARS, PAIN CAVE, PROMOSEXUALS, SKETCHBURGERS, WHINE FLU, REVENGE BREEDING