Get Schoolled: Saturday Night, The Places

Get Schoolled: A weekly dispatch to the city of Philadelphia from the original gangster, Schoolly D.

Philadelphia native Schoolly D is widely considered the original gangster rapper. Schoolly has recorded nine studio albums, including PSK, Saturday Night, Smoke Some Kill and Welcome to America. He has scored numerous films, such as King of New York and Bad Lieutenant, and lent his composing and vocal talents to popular cartoons including the cult hit Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Currently, he is working on several projects including a forthcoming collaborative album.

We know you wanna know: Where does Schoolly hang out on Saturday nights? After the jump, he gives you his route. Try it yourself this weekend, if you dare.

Get Schoolled, 2/21/11: It Was A Saturday Night And I Was Feelin Kinda…

Editor’s note: We ran this video of these pantywaist white boys just to fuck with Schoolly.

OK: Before I get into all this shit, just lemme say that these are not advertisements, these are places I actually enjoy going to and I wouldn’t be plugging any clubs any damn way for one free drink or some dumb shit like that, so relax about it.

Philly gets a bad rap sometimes as a place where it’s hard to have fun because shit doesn’t stay open as late as in New York, and the liquor laws are more strict here thanks to some whack Quaker bullshit. That’s just wrong. Philly is a great place to go out and I always have a great time (when I randomly step out on a Saturday night), thanks to this tried-and-true formula for hitting up the city’s hotspots:

I like to start at PYT in Northern Liberties, because it’s just a great place to chill and relax and meet up with old friends, not to mention when I walk in, no matter who is DJing, they put “PSK” on. (I wonder: Do they play “Dynamite” when someone from the Roots walk in?) Anyway, I can seriously meet up with someone here who I haven’t seen in like 10 years and we’re able to reconnect. And then sometimes you run into some crazy exes and I am thankful for the escape exit/side door.

Next, going to somewhere like Rum Bar is a good way to keep the night going. You start to see people heading out for the night, dressed up, lookin right, having fun. It’s really good energy and the DJs here are off the hook, like my man DJ Na:tev, he was tearin it up last week. It’s a good place to groove to some Stevie Wonder or something and put your hand on someone’s ass. (By the way, to the girl in the red sweater that fit just right, I really didn’t want to know your name. Just sayin’.)

Next stop of the night has gotta be Zee Bar: This is where you go to get crazy. Everyone’s sweating, dancing, starting fights! It’s Saturday night for real! They always treat me great when I go there and I always have a good time. It’s a good spot to see and be seen. They’re tough at the door, which means you don’t have to look at no ugly people! The music is great, danceable, and you can just kick it until 4:30 in the morning, having a great damn time and losing track of time. And last week, somebody stole my jacket, so I hope it was a girl. I would hate to think of some dude walkin around with my jacket on.

At that point, I’m usually ready to head to the WaWa in Conshohocken where my girls always make sure to have the pretzels ready an hour early for us regulars. They know what we want! Then, it’s back home for 2 hours of sleep before I gotta wake up and make pancakes and peppered turkey bacon for Jordan… ahhh, the life of a gangster.

(And one last piece of advice – this is VERY important. To the dude in Delilah’s parking lot: It’s no good trying to get a handjob because cops are crawlin down there. Maybe head down the block to the Home Depot. Just sayin’.)

Get Schoolled appears every Monday on Philebrity. For more Schoolly D wisdom, click here.

One Response to “Get Schoolled: Saturday Night, The Places”

  1. djlynnabraham Says:

    One night several years ago, Schoolly was at a party at my friend’s house in Northern Liberties. He was looking through her record collection. He said to her, “Yo, you got a boyfriend?”

    She said no. He said, “You’re never gonna get one with this shit.”

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.