Confidential To Keith Olbermann: Don’t Worry, Byko Can Barely Use Email Anyway

That said, we’d love to see this fake email exchange. Either one of you needs to forward it to us, or we’ll just write the thing ourselves.

Previously: Byko Will Not Shut Up About The Fucking Bike Lanes
Byko Will Also Not Shut Up About The Fucking Al Fresco Dining

UPDATE: Thank you, God. Phawker got punked by this, though the Byko side, hilariously, could be real. Fake exchange after the jump.

——– Original Message ——–
Subject: [SPAM] From the Philadelphia Daily News
From: “Bykofsky, Stu”
Date: Fri, November 05, 2010 1:44 pm
To:

Mr. Olbermann:
I’d like an opportunity to speak to you about your current situation.
I am doing a column for publication Monday. I will be here until 6 p.m., but won’t finish until 1 p.m. tomorrow.
If you would rather respond via email, what I want to know, essentially, is the following:
Do you think you were treated fairly by MSNBC?
Do you consider yourself a journalist or a commentator?
If a journalist, is it proper for you to give your opinions?
If a commentator, should you be anchoring a newscast, such as Tuesday night’s election program?
Do you regret chastising others (Rupert Murdoch) for making political donations?
Is there a difference between what he did and what you did?
Thank you.
Stu Bykofsky
Columnist
Philadelphia Daily News
215-854-5977

*

From: keith@keitholbermann.com [mailto:keith@keitholbermann.com]
Sent: Monday, November 08, 2010 2:46 PM
To: Bykofsky, Stu
Subject: RE: [SPAM] From the Philadelphia Daily News

Mr. Bykofsky:

Unfortunately your column (which I just saw) had already run before I read this email. What a shame. I assume you saw the irony in attacking someone for betraying journalism, while you, a self-described journalist, failed to get a single quote from the person you were attacking. Pathetic. Indeed, beneath contempt. How dare you pose as the heir to Murrow.

You didn’t wait for the facts before writing your screed, but for what it’s worth I, unlike you, am a journalist, not a hack. Was I treated fairly by MSNBC? It’s hard to imagine a dumber question, as I don’t work for MSNBC, but for NBC News. As I’ve said publicly before, Phil Griffin is not my boss (thank god), nor is he intellectually qualified to be. Phil pretends otherwise in public. I’m not his shrink, but I assume it makes him feel better. The remarkable thing is that fools like you believe his fantasies. That pleases Phil, but only exposes your ignorance. The proof? I’ll be anchoring on election night 2012, long after Phil Griffin has moved on to a job for which he’s actually qualified, perhaps on QVC.

I hope that clears up your misconceptions.

KO

*

——– Original Message ——–
Subject: RE: [SPAM] From the Philadelphia Daily News
From: “Bykofsky, Stu”
Date: Mon, November 08, 2010 2:38 pm
To:

Failed to get a quote, Mr. O?
I emailed you at two locations on Friday and checked as late as Sunday night for a response. Other news outlets reported you had not returnedtheir calls.
I should “Wait for the facts”? For how long? 48 hours seems like more than enough.
The facts are not contested – you made contributions to Democratic candidates, you didn’t disclose that fact and then you interviewed once of them – without disclosing it to your viewers. I was interested in your motives, and how you imagine the role that you fill at MSNBC/NBC/GE.
(You don’t work for MSNBC, Phil Griffin is not your boss, but he gets to suspend you. Very interesting.)
If you want to be a journalist, act like one. Start by reviewing the SPJ Code of Ethics.
Tell me, Mr. O, how many people have you attacked without even trying to get a quote?
If you do anchor election night 2012, and I hope you do for the hyperbolic entertainment value, please be honest with your audience. Announce which Dems you have contributed to. Or maybe honesty doesn’t come into play with a self-righteous wretch such as you.
You are a hypocrite for attacking others for what you do yourself.
And you are a gutless hypocrite for hiding from reporters with valid questions. Being called a “hack” by a shameless faux journalist like you is a compliment.
I hope that clears up your misconceptions, which are myriad.
Stu Bykofsky
Columnist
Philadelphia Daily News
215-854-5977
I report, you deride

*

From: keith@keitholbermann.com [mailto:keith@keitholbermann.com]
Sent: Monday, November 08, 2010 4:58 PM
To: Bykofsky, Stu
Subject: RE: [SPAM] From the Philadelphia Daily News

Dear Stu,

Since you’re obviously a moron, I won’t waste your time or mine writing more emails you clearly can’t understand. But I do want to correct one of the numerous errors of fact in your email: Phil Griffin did not suspend me. He doesn’t have the power or frankly the courage to do so. Once I had been (very) temporarily relieved of my duties by NBC management, Phil got on the phone to some of your fellow idiot TV columnists and tried to claim credit.

As if.

I could have Phil Griffin fired tomorrow if I felt like it, trust me. And if he keeps yapping about me in public, I may. For the moment, however, keeping Phil around is like having a drunk chimp in the office — more amusing than threatening.

Feel free to correct the record in your “column.”

KO

*

From: keith@keitholbermann.com [mailto:keith@keitholbermann.com]
Sent: Monday, November 08, 2010 5:46 PM
To: Bykofsky, Stu
Subject: RE: [SPAM] From the Philadelphia Daily News

“May be” a moron? No, you’re definitely a moron.
——– Original Message ——–
Subject: RE: [SPAM] From the Philadelphia Daily News
From: “Bykofsky, Stu”
Date: Mon, November 08, 2010 3:10 pm
To:
To you, I may be a moron, but I’m not the one with a credibility problem.
Flame away, Mr. O. Didn’t your mama ever tell you about sticks and stones?
I realize your attention span is that of an ant, but you were invited to submit your “letter” for “publication.”
You did not “respond” nor did you respond to the previous questions put to you. Were they too hard?
I’ll help you. Here they are again
Do you regret chastising others (Rupert Murdoch) for making political donations?
Is there a difference between what he did and what you did?

Hey! Tomorrow night, what will be your act – contrite or defiant? Or just scowling and loud?
I can’t wait to see.
Stu
P.S.: I couldn’t possibly correct the record to reflect what you tell me without calls to NBC management for verification. Tell you what – get The New York Times to correct the record, because it reported what I did, then my liberal tabloid will pick it up from there.

*

From: Bykofsky, Stu
Sent: Monday, November 08, 2010 6:11 PM
To: ‘keith@keitholbermann.com’
Subject: RE: [SPAM] From the Philadelphia Daily News

Can [I] be a “worst person,” too? Please!
Name-calling from a self-energized, smug elitist who doesn’t realize his waste stinks doesn’t answer any of my questions, Keith.
You seem to have an anger-management problem in addition to your inability to focus on anything you don’t want to hear.
But I proved that last Thursday, didn’t I?
Go back into your silo surrounded by your sycophants, big boy.
Buh-bye.
Best wishes for excellence and honesty in journalism,
Stu
P.S.; You really do have an amazing ability to ignore every serious point raised about your conduct. Supernatural, almost.

  • the_ill

    this is all so cringe worthy

  • schmoe

    Eugene Levy will play Byko in the movie version of this saga.

  • emmkay

    I see no reason to doubt that the Byko side is true. And now Phawker/Huffington Post has unleashed him on the world.