As we warned you, the Bag Monster invaded Philly this morning, and we spent some time hanging out with him and his 45,000 plastic bags. He promptly put me in a suit made of 500 plastic bags and had me running around barefoot in Dilworth Plaza. I couldn’t decide what was worse: The 45,000 plastic [...]

The Philadelphia Orchestra will be celebrating their new endowment by “making it rain” with “champagne and titties” at an undisclosed location this weekend. Back in April, we tried to talk some sense into you regarding you sleeping on The Philadelphia Orchestra, who’ve suffered some sagging attendance even while being better than two Dr. Dogs, three [...]

RIGHTNETWORK (believe us, those are their caps) launched today on Video On Demand, Internet and mobile “for those 50 million Americans underserved when it comes to media entertainment choices reflecting their political alignments.” As best we can tell, it’s like Fox News for people who’d rather be watching Everybody Loves Raymond. There’s Flatbed & Ned, [...]

We think this guy should bro down with this guy. Freedom of “spreach,” y’all!

Hopefully, since you learned that the Swine Flu/H1N1 pandemic was declared over in August, you’ve been running around with a wet head, licking doorknobs, rubbing preschoolers on your face, and doing anything else you can to celebrate. This, however, would put you at odds with more than 690,000 Americans who’ve already received flu shots for [...]

Attached to a story wherein Cardinal Justin Rigali blasts the Burn A Koran Day hicks is the following photo: To his credit, Rigali was not distracted by the disembodied hand, and managed to pony up this message of common sense and tolerance: “We cannot build a world on hatred and disrespect. And secondly, because there [...]

… or at least, not that we know of — in either case. And how 9/11 got turned into Burn A Koran Day by some backwoods preacher (Obama, why are you even deigning to respond to this freak?) is something that will be studied for generations to come. But mostly, we’re just happy none of [...]

Spotted on Walnut Street Bridge, south side. Damn. If I had a dime for every time the sidewalk issued me a command like that, well, I’d enough to buy some rolling papers. Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

Hey, remember when the Groovie Ghoulies came and supposedly “bought” the Inquirer and Daily News and were supposed to usher in a whole new era of having everybody act like these things would never die when we all really know they are, even at this very moment, walking ghosts? (For the record, we’re not as [...]

>>> The Northern Liberties Music Festival 10.2 is this Saturday, and for once, the forecast looks amazing. (Knock on wood! Quick!) It’s an especially good thing, too, as this is one of the strongest lineups we’ve seen in forever. Total vibe hang. >>> Super-awesome mellow fall album we can’t wait to dig into in its [...]

The school year started yesterday for the 163,064 students in the School District of Philadelphia. So how are things going so far? · On Sunday, the Feltonville Intermediate School was burglarized and vandalized. Students fighting against the dying of the summer? I’d bet on it. · Some 171 teachers didn’t want the school year to [...]

Bag Monster — government name Andy Keller — is an environmental activist who’s currently riding across country on a three wheeled bike to increase support for banning plastic bags. All while wearing, of course, a costume made out of 500 plastic bags, the amount one person uses in a single year. He’ll be in Philly [...]

TONIGHT AT 7:30 p.m., the Prince Music Theater at 1412 Chestnut Street will host an exclusive screening of Louis C.K.’s new stand-up concert film, Louis C.K.: Hilarious – playing only once in theaters before its TV debut later this month. Exciting, right? You wanna go for free?? Well, we can help you with that. We’ve [...]

· Distance between Earth and an asteroid that passed closer than the moon and luckily didn’t kill us all this morning, at its closest: 154,000 miles · Money to be returned to the city by Mulhern Electric Company, Inc., for defrauding its way into a $1.1 million municipal contract: $109,700 · Amount of illegal material [...]

2nd Philly Naked Bike Ride in 3D from Ryan Suits on Vimeo. Aaaaahahahahahahahaa. Sorry. We’re so, so sorry but c’mon. How could we not?

It’s SpreadingSantorum.com, that goofy website Dan Savage started a few years back to totally fuck with the cartoon Satan from the South Park movie Rick Santorum. The gag may be old, but according to this Mother Jones report, it’s still showing up among top Google results for “Rick Santorum,” and could actually hamper what would [...]

Some camera crew filmed you for some dumb, totally un-titillating website. It’s like fucking Idiocracy out there.

WEST PHILLY: A few months after they were scheduled to start, it looks like Clark Park renovations are actually happening. Before you freak out: Only half of Clark Park will be closing (“Park A”), and it will reopen shiny and new in November. Also, the Uhuru Flea Market will take place in the other, still-open [...]

When not conjuring up sponsorship matches for Michael Vick or running the Ikea Facebook page, Philly ad exec Marc Brownstein — truly one of the last of a dying breed around these parts — has… thoughts. He pens these thoughts for a column in Ad Age. This time around, it looks like Marc finally read [...]

Please, no dog-on-dog defecation please. As seen in Filter Square. As much as we’re sticklers about picking up dog poop, we also kinda think putting up signs like this is a total bitch move. Just saying. Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.