Where, we ask you? But no matter: Even with last week’s Terminix-funded list of America’s Top 10 bedbug cities — which put Philly at number two — actual tales of Philly bedbug horror elude us. (Then again, we alienated a lot of our friends in West Philly a long time ago.) Nevertheless, we do now live in fear of the bedbug, which feeds on human blood and can cause anemia, much like your present or ex-significant other. No one but you can help you the bf/gf, but today, some company somewhere just rolled out The Bed Bug Patch, which works much like the nicotine patch — which is to say, it probably doesn’t work. Oh, Bed Bugs: You come here, you irritate our skin, and you make us want to get STD tests. You really are from Brooklyn, aren’t you?