Following the on-again-off-again relationships between Philadelphia’s film festival producers is kinda like trying to keep up with the status of that one couple in every circle of friends that repeatedly experiences global thermonuclear war-level break-ups to the point that everyone’s just glad they’ve finally agreed not to show up to the same parties ever again. TLA Entertainment Group and The Philadelphia Film Society have an exhausting history of splitting up and reconciling (probably without the break-up or make-up sex, unfortch), but as of last year, they finally decided to go their separate ways for good and stop talking shit on each other to their friends over brunch. As it stands, TLA, under the name The Philadelphia Cinema Alliance, got dibs on the city’s gay & lesbian film festival – QFest 2010, nee’ the Phildelphia International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival (PIGLFF – say it out loud – ain’t nobody mourning the loss of that acronym).

Full disclosure here: We only watched the trailers for and read the QFest descriptions of the films mentioned below. We did not screen these. But trust us, after several visits to QFest in years past, we know how to call ‘em ahead of time. Oh, and about those descriptions in the QFest guide? Please, for the love of heaven, find a thesaurus, QFest. We would normally advise from the get-go that everyone everywhere avoid any film described as “a poignant coming of age tale,” “a hysterical romp of twists and/or turns,” or anything “wacky.” As it happens, traditional wisdom would eliminate about half the entries if the festival program is to be trusted. And, while one would think any film festival would have room for only one entry able to be described as “sparkling,” we’re being led to believe that there are two films this year that are sparkling and one that is sparkly, though we’re not sure yet what the difference is. Here we go!

If you’re in the mood for a documentary:

Arias With A Twist: The DocuFantasy looks pretty interesting, despite the use of the word “DocuFantasy.” It’s about New York performance artist Joey Arias and his master puppeteer collaborator Basil Twist, neither of whom we’d heard of before, but wish we had after watching the trailer. The puppet stuff they do is beyond anything we’ve seen, and the film puts them in context among media freaks ranging from Klaus Nomi to Elvira Mistress of the Night, which, really, sounds pretty fun.

We ask a big, shrugging “WHY?” about the Basquiat and the Le Tigre documentaries. How many films about Basquiat does the world need, we wonder? It probably does not need this newest one, and there’s probably no reason for you to go see it. If you want to try to hook up with a sexually confused/adventurous UArts kid, though, maybe spend the $10 and see what happens. Same for the Le Tigre doc, for that matter.

If you’re in the mood to have your discomfort level challenged:

The Last Summer of La Boyita out of Argentina and Piggies out of Germany both look gut-wrenching, but if you wanna shoot for the stars in terms of taboo, check this one out:

From Beginning to End: Buzz for this Brazilian film has been floating around the Internet for a year or so now, and we’d almost forgotten about it until we noticed it in the lineup for QFest. It’s a story of two mega-hot guys who are desperately, frighteningly in love – only they’re half-brothers. Now look, this brothers/twins getting it on meme is gaining ground as an out-there wank fetish – not that we know first-hand. But at least half the trailer shows the guys as young boys growing up together, cuddling together, and falling in love as, like, pre-teens. Controversial by most any standard, it looks like an intense ride. Just don’t go in thinking you’re in for a harmless eye-candy flick.

If you’re in the mood for something timely:

There are a couple of looks at the whole “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” saga — one of which might be good, the other of which might not. Out of Annapolis is a documentary that tells the stories of 11 U.S. Naval Academy alumni and their experiences being gay at the Academy and in the US military. The other is the lesbian flick A Marine Story. Its blurb in the festival program reads “an ex-Marine returns home from the war to start over, but not without crossing paths with a feisty young woman who needs discipline and direction.” You decide.

From the department of (Mid)East meets West culture clashings we have the following: The String and Eyes Wide Open deal with the struggles of gays in Muslim and Orthodox Jewish cultures, respectively. No particularly new ground here, but they don’t look terrible, really.

Our pick would have to be Taqwacore: The Birth of Punk Islam:

Hey, there’s a featured song titled “I Want To Fuck You During Ramadan,” so what more convincing do you need?

If you’re in the mood to watch actual famous people:

Just Shoot Me‘s Wendie Malick is in You Can’t Have It All, and My So Called Life‘s Wilson Cruz is in
The People I’ve Slept With, but both of those look godawful, so please do not go see these. Ditto for Violet Tendencies starring Mindy Cohn (Natalie from Facts of Life!), unless you enjoyed this, in which case, go right ahead and see it; just don’t tell us you did.

Howl, as we mentioned once before, stars James Franco as Allen Ginsberg:

Rounding out the name-recognition are Mary Louise-Parker, Jon Hamm (being Don Draper only a lawyer), Jeff Daniels, and Treat Williams. You’re probably going to see this at some point anyway, so you might as well go during QFest.

Also, Handsome Harry has Steve Buscemi and Aidan Quinn and looks decent:

Oh, and smoke dude from Lost is in it as well, if you still care about that at all.

Additionally, check out what Secret Cinema is screening in conjunction with QFest – This Nude World, a cult film from the 1950s looks fun. The GLAAD-decried Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives looks awesomely awful, so that’s an option if you’re looking for a more feel-good Female Trouble.

So there you go. You’ve been advised/warned. But let’s face it, at this point in this particular summer, there’s little we wouldn’t do to score some AC, even if it means having to sit through something that dares to call itself You Can’t Curry Love:

QFest runs from July 8 through July 19. All film, event, and ticket info can be found here.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 8th, 2010 at 11:49 am.