Jonesin For Platonic Company? RentAFriend!

Are you sick of eating at nice restaurants yourself? Tired of trolling the missed connections on Craigslist in hopes of finding your new best pal? Frustrated from trying to persuade randos that you met on Face/Space that a real-life hang out is the move? Discouraged from attempting to strike up conversations with strangers on the El and in your local coffee shop, only to be treated like a creep? Not getting the same kick out of your interactions on XBox Live? Left feeling cold after spending dozens of hours as your avatar on W.O.W. or Second Life? Had no luck trying to convince your shrink to hang out with you after he gets off? Well, hey lonely/pathetic Philebrity readers: Be lonely no more. (Also: How are you still alive? You’re really an amazing specimen.)

Lucky for you, a very thoughtful/ingenious gentleman from Stewartsville, New Jersey named Scott Rosenbaum recently launched RentAFriend, a website that allows to you to peruse rentable Friends (always capitalized on the website) and for a monthly ($24.95) or yearly ($69.95) fee and an hourly rate (starting at $10/hr and running up to a steep $150/hr) for the actual hang-outs, these Friends will do whatever platonic shit you want. Literally. Apparently some college kids rented some parents to come talk to their school when they were caught for underage drinking (pretty sharp, if you ask us). These Friends are not going to come through with any Benefits though, and if you try- you are cut off from all future Friend hires. That said, according to the website, if they actually want to do what you’re doing, they might waive or knock down the hourly fee. (Woot!) On the downside, is this just a really negative side effect of all this screen-staring we do all the time? We can understand that some people just can’t get laid, but if you can’t even find someone to get brunch or do some goddamn scrapbooking with, that’s, well, scarify-ing. In completely unrelated news, a charming 20 year old named Grace is coming through to take us hot-air ballooning in a couple minutes. She’s just a Friend, dudes.