BY MIKEY IL/SPECIAL TO PHILEBRITY: If you felt your ankles swell, blood pressure rise and a burning desire to lose yourself in “Cosby” reruns on Wednesday, you can relax, it wasn’t boobquake-related. Wawa Hoagie Day returned to Philly on June 30th, after being absent for a decade. Celebrating its epic return, the (less and less) beloved locally-based chain of food markets touted the unveiling of a sandwich over a “mile-and-a-quarter long” to be served free to the public with a special screening of Rocky at the foot of the Art Museum steps.

According to the official press release:

Wawa’s 2010 Hoagie Day Celebration will feature a variety of Philadelphia and hoagie-centric activities including the building and serving of a 1 ¼ mile long hoagie, the search for the next Rocky look-alike as part of the Philly @ the Movies Rocky Contest, and a screening of the classic film, Rocky, at the conclusion of the Hoagie Day festivities.

Numerous food bloggers reported plans for a “giant hoagie” to be unveiled at the Art Museum and the word spread rapidly throughout the city. FOUR TONS of lunchmeat, bread, lettuce, tomato, oil & vinegar, and salt & pepper were going to be masterfully assembled; even the most cynical residents wanted to see this mighty meat feat.

Cut to yesterday afternoon, when a tweet was posted by local Annie Heckenberger, commenting that there wasn’t a photo to be found online of this reported 1 ¼ mile-long hoagie and asking if anyone had one. Thus began a “tweetstorm” of commentary from other disillusioned epic-hoagie seekers, which was quickly dubbed “Hoagiegate.”

Now, don’t get us wrong, we love us some Wawa just as much as the next guy. We bow to the altar of shorties. Hell, we’ll come clean: We even have a Wawa credit card.

However, we have to opine that we join the ranks of the disappointed in Wawa for the marketing of this event.

I don’t know about you, but I want to see a mile-long hoagie. Furthermore, that kind of photo opp is PR gold. It’s Internet Viagra, for crying out loud! Sprinkle some kittens in that sammy and you’re a goddamn international MEME. Local TV affiliates would have a chance to feed this footage nationally and actually get some pick-up! *gasp* Positive news about Philly! I’m comin’, Elizabeth!!!

Ok, ok, so a noble prize it ain’t, but it also isn’t Michael Vick drama or escalating crime. SHOW THE PEOPLE THE HOAGIE.

And yes, we recognize that Wawa’s official release stated the event activities would include the “serving of a 1 ¼ mile long hoagie,” we have to wonder if the pitching of this story to media hyped a giant sandwich? How else can you explain outlet after outlet reporting this critical component incorrectly?

What we want to know is, why spend 14 hours, involve over 100 employees, and post a total of 8 photos only to rid evidence of a potentially great feat? As it turns out, most sources claim that despite the tale of an incredibly long sandwich, Wawa in fact handed out over 13,000 Shortie’s (6″ each), making this event fall… shorti.

The author would like to note that, according to city representatives, “Wawa distributed most of the hoagie to Phila-bundance and it was dismantled before the event.” We applaud Wawa’s efforts to support non-profits and fight against local hunger, and we encourage them to continue to do so without misleading event marketing.

– Mikey Il

Mikey Il is one of the minds behind the food blog Unbreaded.com.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 2nd, 2010 at 11:37 am.