All U.S. smokers out there have been hearing/griping about the fact that our Marlboro Lights are now Golds, Pall Mall Lights are now Blues. You might even know that this became official because of a little something called the Family Smoking Prevention and Control Act. But things are tough all over, and it’s no long just about assigning arbitrary colors where there were once arbitrary names; the act also banned candy cigarettes from the shelves of stores and the mouths of our youth. Apparently, even though these are not a tobacco product per se, they make kids feel cool about smoking, which they then start doing and then 400,000 of them die a year and it costs $96 billion annually in health care to tend to their cancer and laryngitis. Just like eating Tic-Tacs at a young age leads to prescription pill-popping, root beer drinking leads to latent alcoholism, energy drinks lead to a cocaine habit (or at least some heavy coffee drinking). Don’t believe us? Check out this handy-dandy slideshow designed to show us all the parallels between our candy and drugs; parallels we clearly are all just too oblivious to spot. Anyways, candy cigarettes actually were kinda disgusting (unless you are partial to the taste of chalk) but we think kids should be able to eat/smoke them all they want. It’s a cold world out there for budding cigarette smokers. Isn’t anyone worried about future generations?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 30th, 2010 at 3:53 pm.