If we’ve learned one thing in this media game over the last year, it’s this: You don’t go into war with the Tiger/squirting/Sue Serio headline you want, you go into war with the Tiger/squirting/Sue Serio headline you have. Video after the jump.

Never look it directly in the eye. So, in celebration of one of their most famous/legendary ex-teammates ever, the Reading Phils are giving away this Ryan Howard Lawn Gnome later this summer. And it is kind of freaking us out, baby. Now, there is a long, uneasy history surrounding black gnomes, for sure, but that [...]

In a world where ducks are silenced, a new threat has emerged: Plastic geese, stealing the children of tourists. Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

That’s right, we said MACGRUBER, the newest SNL-sketch-turned movie, and whose dummy copy actually reads “IF YOU DON’T GO SEE MACGRUBER’S NEW MOVIE, HE’LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU COME HIMSELF!” Oh dear. We have a bunch of passes to see it on Thursday night at 9PM (note later screening time than usual), and [...]

Photog Ryan Donnell‘s Philadelphia Polling Place Project is living proof.

Also known as… Dutch Cleanser! And, er, oh dear, it was used for that, wasn’t it? We’ve got an intern out and about to find some right now. As soon as we get some and smoke it, we’ll let you know what we find.

So, Joe Sestak was interviewed on MSNBC by Andrea Mitchell a little earlier today, and things got kind of heated when Mitchell pressed him about how ugly his campaign has gotten: MITCHELL: [...] you referred to him as a dead man walking. Have you been not only insensitive but signaling in a very strong and [...]

Wondering what was in the box just got the better of us.

If you haven’t gotten the drift already, we are completely grossed out by both Arlen Specter and Joe Sestak on account of running disgusting campaigns that, we believe, are unfortunate windows into the souls of both men. And there’s no way in hell we’re voting for a Republican (much less a PA Republican) because it’s [...]

KYW is reporting a low turnout already today on Primary Day in Philly, attributable to the usual stuff: Rain, and nobody caring because Ed Rendell is not running. We feel you, Philadelphia, but get out there and vote anyway. We’re cooking up some election day posts for ya right now, but in the meantime, get [...]

You may have seen this already, but we loved the end graf in this retelling of the curious case of the mail-hoarding Northeast Philly postman who was recently caught out; the mail he’d been hoarding, some of which had dated back to 1997, was recently delivered to residents of the Bustleton neighborhood the dude serviced. [...]

Pretty interesting talk given recently by the Gyro/Quaker City Mercantile honcho. Big reveal: G-Mart was “successful.” Small reveal: Grasse likes boobies. [via PSFK]

OK, half of the Philebrity Commetriverse: We know you have passionate feelings about bike lanes. But will you remember those who have passed in the absence of safe bike travel all over? On the 19th of May, at 7 PM local time in Philadelphia as well as at hundreds locations around the world, cyclists will [...]

You’ve gotta wonder: What will the Brian Tierney

For weeks now, we here at Philebrity have been working behind the scenes in an effort to raise awareness (and hopefully bring great changes to) Bill No. 100267 aka The Promoter’s Bill. While you can read the bill’s language as it stands today here (PDF), it is basically a highly reactionary piece of legislation that [...]

Oh hi, everybody! We spent the morning doing things like fixing computers and shaving our beards and staring at dogs. Here’s the new Free Energy video. Shades of Sweatheart’s “Fingerbangin’” like whoa.

FRIDAY: >>> As of right now, the weather forecast suggests that whatever unpleasantness there is to be had today will roll out well before the first installment of your Philebrity Happy Hour at Octo! So come on down to the river, check out DJ Dennis Wolffang, and ponder the glory that is this, our only [...]

RECOMMENDED: Four movies into a career that you can easily see stretching into decades, director Nicole Holofcener does White People And Their Problems probably better than any other director working today. And that’s not necessarily a dis. In films like 2006′s Friends With Money, Holofcener chronicles feelings of guilt and inadequacy as if they were [...]

South Philadelphia High School Asian Student Advocates Statement on the resignation of S. Phila. High School Principal LaGreta Brown As a coalition of adult advocates and youth organizers, we have felt strongly that administrative change was a necessary first step to begin the process of healing and the work of positive change towards racial and [...]

>>> Some band called Dr. Dog (we think they have moustaches and live in Powelton Village or something) are playing the Electric Factory. Maybe you should get familiar. >>> Over at Tritone, the West Philadelphia Orchestra‘s monthly Balkan Dance Party (NOT a euphemism for menstruation) is going on, and is totally worthy. >>> Night Train [...]