It’s like a Euro with serif-font fetish. Also, there should be some kind of new stimulus thing introduced where you automatically get one of these when you land on Community Chest. [via Gawker]

CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS OR PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO EAT CHEESE IN THE WOODS? Because really: Everybody knows that if you’re gonna start up a brokedick militia with some machetes and a pellet gun, you at least need to do it somewhere appropriately backwater like the Midwest or the South, where the mouth-breathing populace actually believes in [...]

This just in: Golf superstar/living metaphor for all men Tiger Woods has signed on to play in July’s AT&T National Tournament at the Aronimink Golf Club in Newtown Square. This will be the first time Woods has ever competed in the area. But it is not without its sad bit: Philebrity regrettably reports that, upon [...]

· What’s The Meanest Thing You’ve Ever Done Or Said When You Were Hungry? · Starr Unveils Details For The Ranstead Room, El Rey’s Speakeasy Life Partner (That Is A Dead Ringer For The Franklin) · First Annual Spring Restaurant Weekend At The Piazza at Schmidt’s Hits May 1-2 All this and more — plus [...]

Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the tweetstream this morning.

Unless you count Saturday night at Port Richmond Applebee’s followed by SNL with Ke$ha, going to see Real Estate on Sunday was the best thing we did all weekend and we cannot wait to see them again. [via The Styrofoam Drone, where there's lots more from Sunday's show]

Nobody was as shocked as we were to discover that Interpreting the Masters, Vol. 1: A Tribute to Daryl Hall & John Oates by LA band The Bird And The Bee was, in fact, a really, really great (and not dumb or kitschy) tribute to Hall & Oates, who were/are quite possibly The Best Thing [...]

Submitted by Anthony James Delano.

Are you sure this isn’t just a bucket with an air conditioner filter in it?

“Initial reports had indicated the man was armed with a gun, though that does not appear to be the case.” Rather, our sources indicate that he was merely happy to see them.

Philadelphians know something the rest of the state, and eventually, the rest of the country’s political apparatus are only just now learning: Ed Rendell is kind of like the id of whatever organization you and he are a part of at any given moment. As such, he is prone to outbursts of raw, righteous (and [...]

You stuck my flash drive in your vagina. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I don’t think this is a fad sweeping the city, so this one’s for you. We met at a Millcreek Tavern. You said you were from Lancaster. You were beautiful, you liked me. It was perfect. But [...]

Says reader Jessica: “PPA opens door and is swiped by a truck on 19th St. between Market and JFK.” Ahahahahaha. Amazeballs. Seeing something around town of note? Cameraphone it to: tips[at]philebrity[dot]com.

We’ll be doing long distance dedications, jams, ragas, big beats, and going wherever the spirit takes us. Come on down. Last week’s gin fling drinks still available!

Fresh from the Philebrity inbox, where old press releases go to be turned into glue: PETA RENEWS CALL TO PHILADELPHIA: BAN CRUEL, DANGEROUS HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGES Second Serious Accident in Seven Months Highlights the Risk to Horses and the Public Philadelphia — On the heels of a crash on Monday that resulted in injuries to several [...]

Remember the yarn bombers? THEY’RE HERE NOW. (Just like the rest of Brooklyn.) Reader Raj caught this one in the act at Frankford & Girard. Hey, that’s where I lock my bike up!

We don’t even know what this means. We only know that he is us, and we are him. Thanks to reader Anthony.

Shaking Through: The Man Suits from Weathervane Music on Vimeo. The latest Weathervane Music/Shaking Through project dropped this morning, and it’s a little thing called The Man Suits, featuring members of Dr. Dog, Me Without You, Elvis Perkins In Dearland, The Silver Ages and BC Camplight. Follow the link and grab the track for free.

Can you even imagine? These people must be having the most surreal experience of all. I mean, most of us chose to be stuck here while waiting for Icelandic volcanic ash clouds to pass (I swear, as soon as they do, I’m moving to Bruges), but these poor souls? Oh boy. The good news is [...]

Hey, remember those dudes who murdered some kid last summer in the Citizen’s Bank Park parking lot because he spilled a beer on them or some dumb shit? Those charming men were on a bus trip from Moe’s Tavern, a Fishtown bar perched right next to a rec center and dead middle on a residential [...]