The dude says that the all-powerful soda lobby is doing everything it can to sack his proposed soda tax. As a public service, here’s some things to look out for:
5. Beware of any councilpeople or aides with new love interests named “Seven.” Don’t ask them what they are doing later. They are feeling Seven up.
4. Local union reps suddenly switching tracks and using Mountain Dew to destroy the paint jobs on the cars of political foes. They used to just use acid.
3. Any white male council reps stumping for funding for the Faygo Parade, the newly re-christened moniker for the legendary Mummer’s Parade.
2. Notable appearance of Franny Rizzo’s Gourmet Old Style Black Wishniak Soda suddenly all the rage at political fundraisers.
1. Late-night power meetings at The Capital Grille attended not just by five human-sized cans of Coke, but also a mysterious high-roller dressed like this.

Join us tonight after the break, when our guests will be The Kool Aid Guy and Michael Jackson’s Flaming Hair.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 15th, 2010 at 4:44 pm.