You know, the First Lady has taken a lot of guff lately about her stance on childhood obesity. Her stance being, of course, that it’s bad. And you know, this is one of those things that, in a fit of pique, makes us want to disavow this great land forever. Because the thing is, America, your children are fat. And while we’re at it, many of your adults are fat, too. (And stupid to boot!) These are bad things. So please, by all means, click on Mrs. Obama’s new Let’s Move campaign, launched just a few hours ago. It’s all about getting your fatass kids some exercise and teaching them how to eat right so that they don’t have to learn about it like I did — at the ripe old age of 37. Again, there is nothing wrong with any of this. And if you think there is, please do a dozen pushups and tell me all about it when you regain consciousness.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 1:41 pm.