Even Yelp Knows That Yelp Is Not Worth $550M

yelpIf you are a regular reader of this site, you probably already know what we think about Yelp: It is, without sounding too old fart about it, a living testament to how the great unwashed know next to nothing and that, ‘lo these many years, we have had professional restaurant critics and such for a reason. Also, anecdotally, we have always gotten a strong vibe that the Yelpers, at least here in Philadelphia, are usually not even one whole degree of separation away from the Snuggie Crawlers; and you are who you hang out with. Woe betide their precious flip-cup, a pox upon their Rock Band marathons, and a scourge unto their quizzos. Anyway, Google just tried to buy Yelp for $550, and then — get this — Yelp got cold feet at the last minute and pulled some Yelpus Interruptus. The reason? Much to the chagrin of even local Yelpers, and in typical old-school dot-com fashion, Yelp thinks it’s gonna be worth more than that. Yelp doesn’t realize that getting a bunch of assholes together to complain online about waitresses is about as easy opening a door and asking dust to come in. Yelp also probably isn’t taking Foursquare and other services into account, where the very kind of information that makes Yelp supposedly so valuable is being amassed every day. But you know what? That’s a good thing. If the Google deal had gone through, we might be dealing with Yelp (and, worse, Yelpers) for years to come. This way, it’s only a matter of time before Yelp Friendsters the shit out of itself. The clock is ticking.

3 Responses to “Even Yelp Knows That Yelp Is Not Worth $550M”

  1. gtownradioboy Says:

    ‘Yelp Friendsters the shit out of itself’

    You can’t say that too often.

  2. Black (jack) Taco the Eviscerator! Says:

    Maybe Dan at Young Philly Politics took a buy out, or just didn’t pay his hosting fees. Somewhere an age-inappropriate for venue Marc Stier is having withdrawals from his daily pissing contests against Mr. Luigi.

  3. Walter Sobchak Says:

    A local bar owner told he he recently was contacted by Yelp. For a fee, they offered to “manage” his reviews. He declined, and the next day 5 very negative reviews suddenly appeared.

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