· One of our native Allentonian readers writes:

Today, Mr. Obama is kicking off his “main street tour” in my hometown of Allentown, Pennsylvania… or as I refer to it as: THE 610 STRUGGLE. His mission, to make sure stimulus money goes to the nation’s cities, where the strain of joblessness is most severe. The Presidents “aggressive agenda” will also include the state of Yocco’s hot dogs, Russian Rye & how selling high-priced cutlery while still in school might not be that bad of an idea after all! Speaking to the 13th grade AKA Lehigh Carbon Community College, I look forward to hearing some of the intelligent ideas a brainwashed Republican audience will offer….

So I ask you Philebrity, what would you suggest to Mr. Obama…?

The first and most important thing that comes to mind is that Obama needs to plan a psychedelic summit with Allentown’s psychedelic president, the one and only Brother JT. While we’ve cringed a bit to see the Obama Administration struggle so much with the mess they inherited, we think that this deadlock could be greatly aided by a cloudy weekend in Allentown under the influence of powerful, mind-expanding drugs. Or at the very least, a heavy session with the collected works of Brother JT.

· Meanwhile, remember how we were telling you about how the God Hates Fags Church was going to be visiting Philly and South Jersey this Sunday and Monday, and how another group was trying to turn the whole thing on its ear by raising money for the Matthew Shepard Fund for every minute these Pieces Of Shit picketed Cherry Hill East high school? Well, get this: That group, led by Philebrity reader Melody Kramer, has already raised over $20,000!!! That is awesome! Way to go Melody! Those interested in finding out more about the counter-protest would do well to check out Melody’s FAQ, which also tells you a lot about the true evil that is the God Hates Fags Church.

So there you have it: The world is not totally made of shit. Have you got some good news? If so, send it to tips[at]philebrity[dot]com with “GOOD MOTHERFUCKING NEWS!” in the subject header — we’d love to hear about it.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 4th, 2009 at 2:10 pm.