· So, we keep hearing that the NBC Universal deal is done. And we believe it. In fact, we kind of never doubted that it might all happen. But this is a deal that spawns questions like wet gremlin after midnight. So, first things first: Is this shit even legal?

· While we all ponder that, let’s talk turkey. And by turkey, I mean Comcast’s native (and laughably awful) programming, which now stands under an umbrella with NBC’s, which is funny for a lot of reasons. (Not least of them: Do you think you would be interested in bringing back Golden Girls and subbing out Suzanne from Seeking Solutions With Suzanne for whoever the dead ones are? Maybe throw in Lynne Doyle as the sassy new cougar down the block?) Haha, ok, just fucking with you, but really: Are you seriously gonna try toppling ESPN with the Versus network? Now, don’t get us wrong: There’s a lot to love about Versus. You got Sports Soup, the hockey, the Tour de France (we honestly look forward to the dead of summer where we can stay up all night watching this, PLEASE don’t kill it off) and all those other weird non-sports you have to run because it’s Versus. With Dick Ebersol now in charge of both Versus and the Golf Channel, yes, we see how both could improve, but toppling ESPN? C’mon son.

· Was the moment you told GE it could finally go back to the garage to make toasters and electric whatsits really tender? We imagine it was. Kind of like a middle-aged son telling his father, “Pa, this is what you worked for! Retirement! You can finally go do the things that make you happy now!” What a good son you are, Commie. I mean, Comcast.

· And finally, what are you going to do about the Seattle Times, currently fighting for NBC’s, erm, “independence?” Hahaha, just kidding. Even we had to laugh at that one.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 at 1:28 pm.